Empty

Your words are powerful. Your feelings are fair. Now is not the time to give up. You may be tired, you may be upset, but you're worth something.

Have you considered journaling your feelings?You seem to have a way with words, and that usually helps people who do; I know it helps me.

I can't say that I've never felt this was, but I am proud to say that I can overcome it. So can you. I am not great with words but I know that this is not the end for you. YOU have to attempt to helpyourself, I don't know if you have but it is a h*ll of a lot of work. I am still working on it,taking one step at a time but I am getting there. It is work and you have to do it everyday to feel good again. It may seem like a lot butfrom what I have been told the outcome is worth it. Please don't give up. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Worthless? Wasting my time?? Never! Not with those beautiful words you used in the first line!

What you described is something I've felt countless times over the past 4 years. I get so tired of trying to get better and always falling back again. The feeling of trying everything and nothing working is beyond frustrating.

I know you hate how you feel but, really, who likes depression? It ruins self-image, self-esteem, self-confidence, eating patterns, sleep patterns, perspective on life, perspective of others,LIVES. If depression were to be brought into the real world, have form and flesh and blood, it would be a horrid monster that even the bravest of souls would cower from. And you are fighting it, alone, because the truth is, depression is something our brains make us feel. Depression is ourselves.

This shouldn't make you feel helpless or hopeless. You should feel overwhelmingly proud that you have been putting up a fight and have gotten this far. Think of how triumphant you will feel when the monster in your head cowers from you. You are brave, you are strong and you can beat this. You will beat this. Don't give up.

I've been doing really bad since this new year started. I've been in my room for 3 full days and my dad is worried. Constantly bothering me. He wants to talk. I don't want to talk. I just want to be left alone. But do I.?

I find it's more dangerous to be left alone. When you're trying to deal with depression on your own, you get stuck in your own thoughts. It's like you're going around a race track and the ground is getting progressively deeper, like you're going around in circles and each time you go around, the deep parts get deeper and the higher parts also get lower...I don't know if this metaphor makes any sense but it's how I see it; if you keep to yourself without leaving the train of thought you're on, you'll dig yourself too deep so there's no way you can get out.

Talking to people helps, despite what you may think. I learned this after 4 years of keeping to myself, trying to solve all of my problems on my own. You may think your father won't understand but that's only because you haven't explained to him what you're going through. All our experiences are differentand he can't read your mind or know how you feel unless you communicate with him. He wants to help you, he doesn't want to see you trap yourself in your room, wading through all the thoughts whirling around your head.

Without her eyes to wake up to each morning, or her lips to kiss goodnight life seems devoid of all. Not just terrible, horrifying or pointless but simply void. There is nothing. When I lay my aching body to sleep each night knowing that they are far away and cannot feel them, I know that, like the immense universe we are a part of, I am filled with a vast expanse of emptiness. I have vacuum for a soul and you know what? Sometimes it feels more right than struggling... But I won't stop fighting. I am a man, an animal brought to the higher senses by his unending determination to succeed. I will learn to make something of the empty, I will gain control of the void and I will make something beautiful, so that I may give it to her as proof of how far I have come. Do not despair, for also like the nothingness around us, we are made of the power and intensity of the stars. We are star children and our sun doesn't stop lighting the way forus simply because it is surrounded by infinite mmeasures of time and space. I will be a sun to my family, I will be warm and my light will fill the emptiness of our broken hearts. I will not give up. I love you both so much, always.