Depression; I Will Not Be Defined
Depression. Some people think that being depressed is just being sad or antisocial but it's a lot more than that. Depression is hard to explain to someone who has not walked in your shoes. It doesn't just come for a day and then go away but that doesn't mean it can't.
Looking on YouTube when I typed in depression all I saw was "My Depression Story". I have never said that depression is mine because it's not. I will not says My depression made me this way or My depression made me this way because that's not true. Yes I am depressed at the moment but I am not depressed every moment of everyday so it is not mine. Your hair is yours, your eyes are yours, but depression is not yours.
Don't let it define who you are or who you are trying to me. Your body may want to do one thing but don't let it. Yes I have had days where my body won't get out of bed or I don't have the energy to even talk but guess what? I did not say oh my depression makes me this. No I say I may be feeling this way now but I will get better. I will not be this way forever.
I will not be defined by depression.
We are not defined by our past. We make our future.
I hope you continue to be courageous!
This post has really raised a lot of conflict within me. I do understand what you are trying to say, I understand the intention of not wanting to be stereotyped into the "oh, they're just depressed" category, but along with that I feel like you are invalidating some people's experiences with depression.
In this post I feel as if there is a big divide between being depressed and having depression. What I mean by this is that being depressed sounds almost temporary, like something happens to make you feel depressed for a while and then it moves along once you heal. Actually having depression is different, for many people it is a daily thing and a very long struggle. Your experience is clearly different as you talk about not being depressed every moment of your life.
Your post is very biased and only really telling your side of things. Some people do let their depression define them because that's the only way they can make sense of their feelings. Some people have bad experiences that cause them to develop it whereas others are seemingly born with it. I fall into the latter category, I have been depressed for as long as I can remember and it is only recently that I discovered a way to describe the feelings I struggled with since I was around four years old.
You optimism about getting better is something so may of us wish we had. But the truth is that many of us don't have that, we hope and wish and struggle but we don't know when the feeling will pass. It's very hard sometimes to want to do something but not have the energy because depression is a physical thing as well as mental. It causes us to lose hope. It causes our motivation to disappear. It makes us fall out of love with hobbies that we once had. And it makes us hate ourselves for not being able to motivate ourselves to do something. Some days I don't even get out of bed because the feelings are so overwhelming that I can't bear to do anything or go anywhere because I know it wont end well for me. Having emotional breakdowns or panic attacks in public is not a good experience. And sometimes we need to rest and let our bodies and minds sort themselves out, it's called self care.
You are right in saying that we are more than our medical terms. It's true, we are human beings and we have way more to us than depression. I do respect you and think you're awesome in the way in which you stay so optimistic. But as you said "Depression is hard to explain to someone who has not walked in your shoes". There are many different pairs of shoes to depression out there, I hope you will never walk in mine.
Much love and happiness to you - DA
@discreetAcres6234 I understand. But I am speaking from my point of view. It is a everyday thing for me and has been for years but I find that being positive has a better affect on me. I don't mean to offend anyone by what I have said I was trying to be positive. Actually today has been hard for me but I writing makes me feel somewhat better so I wrote this. I hope I did not offend you in anyway.
@overcominglfe21 no lovely, it's fine. I understood that you were talking about yourself but at some points it sounded like you were talking about everyone in general and I just wanted to make sure no one feels invalidated. Bad days happen and sometimes they do hold us back no matter how hard we try. Everyone is different, we handle our bad days differently.
There is also this stigma surrounding depression that makes depressed people sound lazy because they lack the motivation to do stuff. I beat myself up a lot on the days where I can't feel motivated to do stuff, it's like I'm failing myself and wasting my life. Reading your post kinda made me feel as if I should be more productive but I just can't. There are so many things you said that I just can't do, I wish I could.
I admire the optimism so much :) It's good that you are able to find ways to keep yourself going. Today has been hard for me too so I guess that's another reason why this made me a bit sensitive, I really haven't been good today at all. I'm not trying to attack you here, just give you another perspective. No hard feelings?
@discreetAcres6234 No hard feelings. I know what you meant. I was forced out of bed this morning by my mom and I had the worst attitude about it like my body was doing something my brain was just not ready for.
@overcominglfe21 I had a really bad night last night so I woke up and my eyes hurt and my head hurt and there we're stuff I had planned to do but I just wanted to sleep (which didn't happen) so I just lay around trying to nap until I actually had to get ready for my lecture. And then I felt weird in my lecture and I just wanted to come home and cry. I'm a mess today, why brain why
I define my depression as my prison not my identity, I do feel like positivity is a good way to try and escape but without fail everytime I think I'm having a good day one thing sets off a spiral of despair within me and then that's it my positivity is all gone and what's left is nothing but darkness.
To me depression isn't an illness it's a war. A war im losing really badly im sorry to say. Ive tried pills, ive tried counselling, ive tried talking to friends and family, ive tried writing about it.. But for all the strength ive expended in this fight im still further back than when I started.
I I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone deals with their demons in different ways with different results.
As for me.. For now.. I'm still standing, im still fighting on, what other choice is there ?
So believe me people when I say that if I can continue to fight so can you. It's always darkest before the dawn and you always have to have rain in order to see a rainbow. So please everyone keep your head held high because we are people not patients and we will win eventually
@MrSoftey1991 you're so amazing and strong, and you're really brave for sharing this. I love how encouraging you are ❤ you have your own battles to fight, and I wish you the very best and the utmost happiness
I know how you feel. I have it too. And i took up cutting and smoking for it. But i know that will not help. But i do it any ways.
@death101 yes, addiction is quite a relatable feeling -hugs- you may feel lonely but you're never alone ❤
you are so strong and I love this thread. Your depression will not define you, you are a strong fighter and i believe in you. ❤