Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
  1. Forum
  2. Depression Support
  3. Deep, crippling depression.

Deep, crippling depression.
offthebeat March 5th, 2017
.

Today it continues, with nothing specific except that I feel alone, rejected, and malfunctional. I feel like I am warring with myself; I have this brain that wants to die with a body that wants to live. A constant struggle. I'm exhausted and I'm so, so, sad that I don't even know if I'll see the light again, not that I even remember that last time I saw it in the first place.

I reached out to friends, but they have problems of their own I don't need to burden. I tried the Sucide Prevention Hotline but it did no good. Talk therapy and my therapist doesn't seem to help either. And honestly, as much as I appreciate the positive thoughts and the community, even talking to a listener on here makes no difference.

I am not okay. I accept this. What I don't accept is the toture and the fact that I don't know how long it's gonna keep lasting or how long I can keep putting up with it.

7
Sherryh88 March 5th, 2017
.

@offthebeat i understand how you feel..n i know nothing i say might make you feel better..just hold on a little bit longer..tommorow will be a new day..hope you feel better..lots of love..

ren90 March 15th, 2017
.

@offthebeat how are you doing today? *hugs*

offthebeat OP March 16th, 2017
.

@ren90 Thank you for the hugs. Still pretty bad. This has definitely been a week from hell. I can't even get out of bed or stop crying. But I appreciate the support on here so much.

KindPear March 5th, 2017
.

@offthebeat You're not alone in feeling like that. It's so hard to see the light when all you've seen is darkness for so long. And as someone who is currently also in the darkness, i just, i have to believe that eventually the light will exist again.

Until then I read, I cry, I talk to the few people that might listen, and make art. And on the days like yesterday where none of my tools worked, i hid in my room.

I hope you have moments in your day that even if they're small 5 second moments, have a spark of light. And know that you're not alone and that other people have felt like us and have gotten through it - why shouldn't we be any different. If there is ever anything you crave or you want to do/watch, do it right then.

x

offthebeat OP March 16th, 2017
.

@KindPear I just want to extend a thank you for the support and for feeling like I'm not alone in this. I hope you also find those small moments of light in this darkness and hopefully we'll both find it sooner rather than later and get through this time where it seems like everything is going wrong.

crimsonMelon8700 March 15th, 2017
.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this.

ambitiousTalker2046 July 15th, 2017
.

I understand.

*Support Forum Disclaimer
My communities
Community guidelines
Report an issue
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist