Can't take much more
I don't know how much more I can take. My social anxiety is overwhelming, yet I am dreadfully lonely. I'm seriously thinking of deleting my Facebook page and seeing if anyone even bothers to keep in contact with me. I'm sure no one will, no one truly gives a s--- about me to care. Oh well they can keep going on, I'm done being happy for them. I know if I ask for help they will look at me funny or not at all. I've prayed to go to sleep and never wake up again, but again I just think I'm on this planet to be the whooping boy for the world. WHY AM I SO AWKWARD!? WHY WAS I EVEN BORN
Not to sound cruel but you do realise you are the root of your problems right?
ok, sure you have social anxiety. but thats on you. its no one's responsibility to make sure you have friends and social contact. thats the sort of thing, people do on their own and other people reciprocate once you've made the effort.
you say you're lonely. ok. and then you want to delete facebook. interesting choice there. yes, it is unlikely anyone will notice. thing is, have you ever done anything worth notice to people.
a lot of people nowadays (teens esp) think the world owes them a friend. That being lonely is a crime unrightfully given to them. thats not how it works. relationships are 2 way. if you have nothing to offer (or you do have something to offer but never actually go out and offer it) in a relationship then of course, you'll be left out.
if the problem is you being scared to even approach people. then there's not much to do. people aren't gonna randomly offer their hand to you, espif you physically look as bad/sad as you sound here. you gotta get yourself out there and deal with it.
sounds like im bashing you but this is honest advice from me to you. the real world is less "happy-go-lucky feel movie" and more "tough love" lessons.
all the best
Starting your post with: 'not to sound cruel', does not make it any less cruel.
Social contact is a basic human need. And people do not deserve to be chided simply for desiring social contact. The world may not owe anyone a friend, but it's natural for a person to be upset when they lack close confidants.
Moreover, your post doesn't consider the situation when a person offers things to other people, but doesn't receive anything in return.
What of a person that has made every effort to reach out to others only to be repeatedly spurned? Would such a person be deserving of sympathy in your eyes? You seem to be placing the blame entirely on ak4482's shoulders, when in this context, it's impossible to know where the blame truly lies. Better, I think, to give up on blame entirely and offer empathy instead.
But what I really can't forgive you for, is this line:
'esp if you physically look as bad/sad as you sound here'.
You and I know nothing about this person, and yet you attempt to criticise their appearance on no evidence whatsoever? This isn't 'honesty', this just comes across as cruelty.
The world may well be more tough than fair, but it doesn't matter. Tough love is not the best medicine in these situations. My honest advice, try empathy instead.
Well Grue
I guess the world has been kinder to you than it has to me. I adviced that way cos thats the only way I know how (as I experienced it that way). I had no empathetic helping hand as you are right now when i was in a similar situation at that point of time.
that being said, if you can actually give a better, less rough way of doing things (as you have) then go ahead. I replied based on my experiences as it worked for me. I am cynical (no arguments here) but fine, your way is nicer.
For what its worth, ak4882, I am sorry. follow Grue's adivce instead.
oh and just to clarify when i said "...esp if you physically look as bad/sad as you sound here"
i didnt mean actual physical features. bad phrasing there.
i meant physically look as in you look mopey, long/sad face, gloomy, brooding, or you know any expression that isnt inviting, etc. those expressions dont really inspire confidence/friendliness
I agree with Grue. To turn around to someone who feels bad about themselves and tell them it's their fault is cruel. It's not his fault if he has anxiety. It's not a choice. You should be trying to help. Not putting him down further. You say you haven't had an easy life, so you should know how hard it is. So why are you trying to make somebody else suffer? That comment was cruel.
Ak4482 don't listen to that comment. Go to your doctors to get help with your anxiety. Your doctor is there to help and will no judge you. Just remember, your doctor has helped loads of people with anxiety so will not be surprised or judge you. Furthermore, if you are worried about others knowing your going to the doctors and judging you, do what I do. Just tell them it's a check up. Theydon't need to know why you are going if you don't want them to. Anxiety is very difficult, but if you want contact you do need to try and help yourself by going to the doctors. It will help. It will take time but just look to the future and how much happier you could be if you improve your anxiety. Don't think about deleting your Facebook because it is only going to upset you. Facebook is such a large website and people have at least 1000 friends each. If you did delete it, people may not notice. But then again, no one would notice if I deleted mine too. People would just think you haven't posted in a while or defriended them. It's not the best way to see whether people care. Don't try testing people. You will find you will be happier that way.
good luck with the future!!
I am shockedat the level of insensitivity in this post "exempligratia". God help the member/guest in despair who chooses you to vent to.
i won't be ugly here, but the problem is that many don't know how to find their way out of the hole they are stuck in. But with the "encouraging words" just offered, I would be surprised if this person ever left the house again.
Cruel words are indicative of cruel intentions in every sense if the word. I sure do hope you never suffer from depression or loneliness and find someone such as yourself to lift you up because I am afraid you may be disappointed if you were the receipiant of your own words...
such a shame...
I don't think you are the type of person that needs to be giving advise. People need compassion, not bashing them. There really is truth in the saying, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. The world is often a hard cold place, and you are really an example of it.
Hey Ak4482. I am sorry that you feel this way! Please remember that you are always more than welcome to connect with a listener to discuss your issues in more detail. Let's also all remember to be respectful of each other and our opinions, and keep in mind that we should treat others how we would like to be treated ourselves. :)
Dear ak442, I am a listener here on this site. I also very much understand crippling anxiety since I suffer from it myself. Please don't think of ending things because it won't get better that way and believe me it really can get better. If you ever want to talk to a listener there are plenty on here and I myself would be more than happy to talk in more detail. You are not weak for feeling like you do. You are not at fault for having anxiety. And I understand your hesitation to share your feelings with friends who seem happy. But I want to share something with you about Facebook, pictures are just a moment in time. So just because your friends seem happy in their pictures does not mean they themselves don't struggle from some inner turmoil. You are not alone. People do care about you. Please talk anytime. I wish you well and I hope your doctor appointment goes well for you
I feel exactly that way too. I prayed too god, that he just could take me now. Because I dont know how to continue too live this life anymore... I have social anxiety too. So its really hard too get new friends.
It's very sad to hear that I am not the only person who prays to God to take me away from this agonizing world. I started praying at the age of 12 and it never happened. I am beginning to believe that my GOD I believed in is not really listening! I don't have the courage to take my own life right now, but maybe if I pray for it , he. Will grant me that, sorry you suffer too!
I'm so sorry that you are suffering as well. I feel the same way you do about wanting the pain to end; I often wonder if I was put on this earth to make others happy at my expense. Hopefully there can be some happiness for you on this earth, please take care.
Thanks, I want you to know that you may feel alone, and I never really understood this until recently, and physically you may be alone but the pain you feel emotionally is felt by me as well. So in that way you are not alone, ok? Take care
