Can't face it
Before I started going to IOP, I was doing fine. Making thru each day, functioning, being productive, happy. But now, day 2 of iop, my mood is dropping, I'm hating myself again, not wanting to go to iop... my therapist was even on medical leave so I was standing on my own 2 feet... so y is my mood dropping when I'm in a therapy program?
@Mypigjava
I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles! Have you informed your therapy program of your mood changes? If so, what did they recommend? If you haven't yet checked it out, we do have a self-help guide on Depression. Perhaps it will help you in some way while you are waiting for your therapist to come back from their medical leave.
I hope you are able to find peace soon! Good luck and take care 
xx
I suppose a therapy program might not take effect immediately, and it might make you explore some stuff that makes you feel worse in the short term. So it's very unfortunate that your therapist is on leave. Elsewhere you mentioned possible BPD, and if your diagnosis is uncertain that makes the whole situation even more complicated.
I hope you have found listeners here who you can talk to about these things, and who understand how you are feeling. Maybe you can use us to help you stand on your own feet while you wait for your therapist to return. Feel free to message me if you would like to chat.
@Mypigjava