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Bored with life

energeticSpring4866 August 15th, 2015
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Hello. Im new to this site and i started using it because i need to disclose my thoughts to someone. I have no one in my life to talk to about my personal struggle. This may be because i have a lot of trouble connecting with others on a personal, deep level. I dont think i ever have really felt comfortable or honest interacting with other perple. The anonimity of this site helps. Ive been depressed for about 4 years. My experience with depression has changed my personality drastically and stopped me from enjoying things that i once had. Im never happy. I find it very hard to get excited or hopeful and the world has become somewhat boreing to me. I lack meaning. Nothing in the world really has a purpose in my mind anymore. I get very sad sometimes when i experience dark distressing thoughts, but mostly i feel empty and numb and so very bored. I dont see a light at the end of this tunnel.

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Horsesandboots August 15th, 2015
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There is a light at the end of the tunnel! There is always a light at the end of every struggle I promise you! The thing that makes us fail and spiral into a depression is because we give up! Sometimes we give up so easily or try so hard and it all seems like it's never going to end or get better but it will. The most important thing to get through life is faith, you have to have faith in yourself and in others to accomplish anything or surpass every obstacle. I know how hard it is, I feel the exact same way most of the time. It's hard when you feel like you have no one who understands where you're coming from or what you're feeling inside. I wish I could give you a hug and every person hurting in this world, it's okay to be different or feel secluded or to not be liked! It doesn't matter what the case is BE YOU, you are important and you're worth it. Love yourself that is the best advice I can give and yet the hardest thing a person can accomplish. For he rest of my life I will be struggling everyday to do this, maybe some days will be super easy and maybe some I will want to disappear BUT that's life it's ups and downs but thru it all you're life has a purpose and you are meaningful, at least to me.

energeticSpring4866 OP August 15th, 2015
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Thank you for saying that. I really do need to have faith. Its just so hard when it seems that everything i have put faith in leaves me empty. I need to get this out. Thats why i have joined this site. Your support means a lot

August 15th, 2015
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It sounds like you're going through some kind of a depressive episode. Have you thought about visiting mental health professional ?

I visited it, but it was too late, my mental state was already deeply f**ked up. Try with therapies, try with CBT ( Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ), visit psychologist or psychiatrist.

Don't play with your state, avoid alcohol and drugs as much as you can, it sounds like it's really bad and all I can do is to recommend you all this stuff, because "thinking positive" and thinking that "everything will be okay" didn't help me at first, and I think it isn't helpful at all. Good luck.

Hugsss, alexlove

heart

energeticSpring4866 OP August 15th, 2015
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I dont really have access to a therapist. Thanks for telling me all that though.

August 15th, 2015
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How's that possible, what are you trying to tell me ?

energeticSpring4866 OP August 15th, 2015
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My mother is a psychologist and she still doesnt think i need therapy. She put me on many different supplements for energy and then left it alone. My parents do not know the extent of my inner thoughts and are not comfortable giving consent for therapy. Im not an adult yet.

August 15th, 2015
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It's actually an excellent situation: Your mother is a psychologist, so if you open up to her, she will understand (because she finished SCHOOLS literally for understanding that) and then you can find help. Try to talk to her, try to write her a letter, something like that...

energeticSpring4866 OP August 16th, 2015
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Ur right. I should really let her know the full extent of this but she has so much to worry about... I will try to tell her more

Lucym88 August 15th, 2015
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Hi there energeticSpring,

Thanks for sharing, this site is good to release your thoughts and vent your frustrations. I have felt very similar to what you're feeling right now. Felt like there was no point in me being here, had no meaning.

The point is to create a meaning, I'm now going for an interview to see if i can go back to college and re-do my English GCSE, I'm also doing my own art canvas for my room, i play my violin. Sometimes you just have to pick up something and you'll be surprised at what you can achieve.

There is always hope, always light, always a better option. Just start doing little things like reading a book or take some time out by chiling in your room with some relaxing music.

Take care.

energeticSpring4866 OP August 15th, 2015
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Thank u for the suggestions. I will try.

Horsesandboots August 16th, 2015
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The best thing is to take care of it while you're feeling this way and get professional help if you can, just because it can help give you insight and understand yourself more if you have someone who understands what the mind goes thru with the state you're in. I think you should be mature and up front to your mom about the situation and be serious