A tip from my therapist that is working for me

Hey everyone! (Btw, I hope I'm not doing anything wrong)

First of all, I have not found a depression-proof coping mechanism which will make you all happy and giggly for the rest of your days: let's keep it real. I'm not even writing this on a good day. But don't leave, I hope this is not completely useless.

I'm trying to heal and seeing a therapist. Unfortunately therapist are humans, and at one point even she started saying that I "just had to do stuff". I needed to focus, to study, to work at least a bit, make an effort. I wasn't angry but, like many of you, I had already heard those lines, from others and myself. Such words did nothing to me, I simply couldn't do it. Depression at its worst simply blocks you, and I wasn't able to do anything at all, let alone work hard.

Last week though, my therapist had an idea. She said: "why don't you try to go back to drawing?"

Alt, no drawing isn't the magic solution.

You see, talking with my therapist we reached the conclusion my mental health had suffered a severe blow when at one point I decided to change life. I am now in my second year in a new town, with a different life, and I am nowhere near comfortable as I was before, even if depression was pre-existing to this. When depression hit me, I quit most of my hobbies: I had no energy, I told myself I wasn't good enough and I ought not waste time on them. Among those, drawing.

My psychologist suggested drawing for a reason: I needed something to make me feel like I was worth something, I needed to feel good at something again and not like I had wasted a day just because I hadn't studied.

Therefore I tried, I've gotten back to drawing and, to my surprise, I still can do it. The first time I actually did it I was amazed, I felt proud of myself like I hadn't in more than a year. Now I'm trying to keep this up. I know I won't make it everyday, but it's fine.

So this is the tip I want to share with you, especially the ones who feel lost, who don't know anymore who they are: think of something that you are comfortable with. An hobby, a passion, in which you think you can do good. I know it's hard, some days I also would say "but I'm good at nothing". I do believe you are good at something though, and you haven't to be the best. Don't worry, it doesn't have to be artsy, it can be whatever you want: gaming, cleaning, talking to someone, reading, swimming, tidying up your pc folders or playing volley with your wall. It doesn't have to be something a serious and accomplished adult would do, it can be going back to building Lego houses. You don't have to go buy a coloring book if you haven't been interested in crayons since when you were 10, you don't have to pick up a "new healthy habit"(yoga! Drink x cups of water! Jog every morning!) Trying new things is compelling, it can be fun but still hard, and once you can't keep up it doesn't feel good. Getting back to something you already know how to do is easier, and it can bring you back to a comfort zone you had lost.

Do it before working, or after your lunch before the afternoon comes with its duties; also, limit your time. For example: I told myself I would draw for 30min before studying. In this way I am already active enough to do what I have to do. Are they 30 minutes stolen to my exams? Yes, but they are minutes gained to my health and peace of mind. And if it's that kind of day in which I can't even get out of bed, I still could reach out for a piece of paper and just doodle random circles and I'll call it a day.

This is just an advice, an idea; we are all different and what works for me may not work for others. But we are not alone, there are the chances this post reaches someone who has a similar situation. I did not really felt like keeping this only for me, because it has made a difference in my day.

And remember, if someone asks you what you did today you have totally the right to answer "I won a basketball match against myself!"