"All or Nothing" Thinking
Have you ever said to yourself, "I am completely ruined."? What about, "Nothing good ever happens to me."? Maybe you've even said, "People always let you down."?
All-or-nothing thinking can manifest in all sorts of circumstances.
People use it to measure their worth as a person, and to make sense of their experiences and the world around them.
◇All or Nothing thinking is found in depressed people all over the World. This is because it is part of the most primitive of human responses: The Fight or Flight Response.
◇When faced with a life-threatening situation, we must make a snap decision and act on it. There is no time for 'maybe this', or 'maybe that.
So how do we stop the Ants? (ALL or NOTHING THINKING):
First, Spot the Ant words.
● Always
● Never
● Impossible
● Awful
● Disastrous
● Terrible
● Furious
● Ruined
● Perfect
Second, separate self-worth from performance.
Focus on qualities that are more firmly rooted within. For instance, focus on how youre compassionate and honest, have empathy for others and value your family.
Third, use the word "and" instead of "or".
☆ Instead of I had a great week or a terrible week, consider, I had some wonderful things happen this week and some things that were difficult.
☆ Using the word and helps us become less judgmental and more understanding of both ourselves and others.
Lastly, focus on all of your positive qualities.
▪ Every night before bed, write down one to three things you did that day. Then write down the positive quality those actions reveal. For instance, you might write: I went to work. This shows youre hardworking and dedicated to your job.
▪The beauty of expanding all-or-nothing thinking is that you dont have to be perfect. You dont have to do something 100 percent of the time.
When you think this way, you feel much better about yourself, and you become more energized and motivated.
Ah, dang. This hits all too close to home. I used to work in an "all-or-nothing" manner; I'd either do homework or some given task perfectfly, or I wouldn't do a thing and ignore it. It was a horrible work-ethic but it's something I'm trying to change. Nice little article. <3
I find that challening my all-or-nothing absolute thoughts with mathematical probabilities helps me most. For example, it's improbable that 100% of all people everywhere out of billions of people are awful, it's improbable that 100% of future events will be bad, it's improbable that 100% of me is awful, there has got to be at least 1% hope, at least 1% beauty in the world, and 1% has got to be enough sometimes. :) Just knowing that there is something can help me get out of a negative thought cycle about nothing and give me at least a sense of numbness or resolution about the thing. Most of these thoughts are quick little bursts, but with patiences and awareness, they intrude less and less. Still working on it, but thank you for this validating post. <3
@wontsleepwontwake
That's a great way of handling ALL or NOTHING thinking! I never thought about it mathematically, or in a statistical way but that's a great perception. You're right because even though there's bad in the world, there's also good. Just like when there are 99 flaws, there's still something good about oneself like a talent or feature.
