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Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]

wontwakewontsleep September 27th, 2017

Personify Your Depression: I learned about this coping technique today. Imagine that your depression is a person separate from you. The idea is that personifying our depression helps remind us that depression doesn't define who we are ourselves, and that invasive self-critical thoughts we experience often come from our depression and not our healthy minds. Some things to think about are: what kind of person would it be, what kind of hobbies would it have, what would it look like, what would its name be?

So, if your depression were a person, what kind of person would it be?

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NewtTommyNewtmas January 3rd, 2018

if my depression were a person i would just kill it.

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP January 3rd, 2018

@NewtTommyNewtmas - Hell yes. I second this. I'd kill my depression if it were a person too. I wouldn't even mind getting caught murdering it. I would rather do time in prison, free from depression, than be a free citizen suffering from something invisible.

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XxAri27xX January 19th, 2018

I always personify my it, actually. I usually imagine him as a pale boy in all black with black hair but most of the time he's a voice inside my head. He likes to criticise and insult me every moment of the day and revels in getting my self-esteem down. He always drops on randomly when I least expect it and whisper horrible things. Useless, worthless, trash, liar, fake, pretender, attention-seeker, selfish, freak, abnormal, you can't do anything right. That's not even half of it, there's so much more. I call him Unknown, because I didn't know enough about him to give him a real name. I usually just tell my friend that I'm talking to an imaginary friend when they catch me talking to myself. Well, it's kind of true, he does count as an imaginary friend, right? Well, not really the typical kind of friend people usually have. Strangely enough though, I don't really mind his presence. I just like having someone to talk to, even if most of the talking is just arguing and him screaming at me. I've had him since forever and I don't want to let go of him. Even though I know he's not good for me, he's there. He's always been there for me when I'm alone and, although I don't want to admit it, I would miss him if he went away. Is that weird?

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP January 20th, 2018

@XxAri27xX - It's not weird at all. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes I definitely relate to my depression like an imaginary friend. It's hard to let go of something that has always been with you, kind of like being in an abusive relationship, except it takes place in our minds. And maybe it doesn't ever go away for good, but maybe we can figure out how to cope with all of those bad thoughts better. Unknown is a good name for it. Thank you again.

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Tasukuda January 19th, 2018

Mine is like a bully that consistently backs you in a corner and whispers to you a long list of why the world is better without you. A bully with an overwhelming presence so that you can only focus on them and nothing else. And the worst part is that everything that he says, you know is the truth. After all, they are you.

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP January 20th, 2018

@Tasukuda - Depression is like a bully, and it is quick to point out any truths that make us feel bad about ourselves, but that bully sometimes also distorts the truth and makes it loom larger than it really does, and it never points out any truths that make us feel good about ourselves because that doesn't benefit it. A bully is a great description, thank you. <3

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Magicalbored1237 March 24th, 2018

For me my depression is like this very cruel version of me except she is always in this cloak following me wherever I go. She tells me all the time to keep quiet because if I speak everything could go wrong or nobody would care. She makes me cry When no ones around to make me feel alone. sometimes I think shes right. She puts so many thoughts into my head that cant ignore them. She makes me pretend that I can do so much without anyone even though deep down I know I cant go through this all alone. But I see some good too in her its like she feels bad for what she did to me. That she feels like its finally time for her to say goodbye to me. sometimes she just makes me feel like I shouldnt even be alive. Makes me have so many death thoughts. For example if I just immediately pulled out a knife in a public place and stabbed it into my arm. She makes me picture everyones shocked faces. :)

5 replies

@Magicalbored1237 Sounds like alot of self defeated thoughts going on there, have you heard of a mood vs distorted thoughts vs reality log ? it can be really beneficial

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wontwakewontsleep OP March 24th, 2018

@Magicalbored1237 - That's a great description. :( Yes, depression puts a lot of thoughts and daydreams in our minds, that we know logically aren't really accurate or helpful but can also feel comforting in that depressive way. I hope she does let you go and say farewell one day, so you can be free from this kind of darkness. Thanks so much for sharing and hope to see you around again. <3

2 replies
Magicalbored1237 March 24th, 2018

@wontsleepwontwake heart

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microwave2 March 24th, 2018

my depression is a monster with many faces and parts, hiding in the shadows and waiting to kill me before i can kill it

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP March 25th, 2018

@microwave2 - it definitely feels like a many-faced monster just around the corner but always just out of sight. Hope you find its hiding place. Thanks for sharing with us :( <3

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observeroflife March 30th, 2018

My depression to me is like a much younger version of me who is telling me that they don't feel accepted and that they want my acceptance, that they don't feel worthy, that I have to tell them they're of infinite worth, that they want me to treat them with patience and not chide for something silly, that I have to take care of them unconditionally, and not judge them based on any other human's opinion.

2 replies
wontwakewontsleep OP March 30th, 2018

@observeroflife - Thank you for this perspective. You're right :( Sometimes I also feel like my depression is my inner child screaming and kicking for my love, but it is exhausting for me to constantly validate their needs. Really appreciate you sharing this with us. <3

1 reply
observeroflife March 31st, 2018

@wontsleepwontwake

You're welcomesmiley

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resourcefulTiger8101 April 9th, 2018

My depression to me is like a room with a locked door but you can't find they key. You are trapped and alone and only have bad thoughts about yourself and until you find the key it will always be the same.

2 replies
wontwakewontsleep OP April 10th, 2018

@resourcefulTiger8101 - Oh, wow, what an accurate and terrifying depiction of depression :( I absolutely agree with you. It's like a dark, drippy room full of dread and self hate. I will keep looking for my key, if you keep looking for yours. I hope we find our keys one day. :( Thanks for this amazing description. <3

1 reply
resourcefulTiger8101 April 10th, 2018

@wontsleepwontwake

Your welcome <3

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BrokenBell1 April 9th, 2018

@wontsleepwontwake

My depression is 2 Face. One second I can be happy, and than the next, I don't care. I don't know who I am anymore, who I used to be is now a shadow, a long lost memory that I will never see. Life doesn't mean anything

4 replies
wontwakewontsleep OP April 10th, 2018

@BrokenBell1 - This is so true :( It's hard to remember who we were before this awful affliction, or in some cases, if we even ever existed without it. There can be moments of fleeting happiness, but as soon as that nothing face comes back, it's like, thode moments of being okay didn't even mattee. This is really relatable. Thanks for sharing your view and experience <3

3 replies
BrokenBell1 April 10th, 2018

@wontsleepwontwake

Thanks for making the place to share about it. It's nice to know I'm not the only one

2 replies
wontwakewontsleep OP April 10th, 2018

@BrokenBell1 - You are so welcome :( Depression is the most isolating feeling. I mean, I've met a lot of people here who suffer with me, but still, each time I meet another person who gets it, who has this depression thing too, I'm surprised all over again. So thank you for also making me not feel so alone. <3 Maybe we can figure this thing out one day after all...

1 reply
BrokenBell1 April 11th, 2018

@wontsleepwontwake

Yeah, one day. Hopefully soon

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Anusha April 11th, 2018

If my depression were a person i would punch it on the face and give it a warm hug. XD

2 replies
wontwakewontsleep OP April 11th, 2018

@AnushaKayastha - I love this completely honest reaction, haha <3

1 reply
Anusha April 12th, 2018

@wontsleepwontwake hahaha! thanks! laugh

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Sahar93 April 12th, 2018

He would be so ugly and i would kill him a thousand times

2 replies
Anusha April 12th, 2018

@Sahar93 i really hope the police wont find out that you killed it haha!

wontwakewontsleep OP April 12th, 2018

@Sahar93 - Right on, kill that depression dead, and keep living on yourself. Hope we are free-er from it one day <3

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