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Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]

wontwakewontsleep September 27th, 2017

Personify Your Depression: I learned about this coping technique today. Imagine that your depression is a person separate from you. The idea is that personifying our depression helps remind us that depression doesn't define who we are ourselves, and that invasive self-critical thoughts we experience often come from our depression and not our healthy minds. Some things to think about are: what kind of person would it be, what kind of hobbies would it have, what would it look like, what would its name be?

So, if your depression were a person, what kind of person would it be?

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CompassionOverPride November 5th, 2017

If my depression were a person, it would be anyone, everyone, everywhere. So, I guess thats like an omnipresent being. Therefore, my depression might be a deity that is rooted in everyone. In other words, I see my depression mostly come out or through interactions with people. So, if its not human nature for people to have something that depresses me, then it may be something more existential like a deity.

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP November 16th, 2017

@CompassionOverPride - yes :( it is like an omnipresent being, twisting other people's words and expressions and reactions in our view to always remind us of it. Thank you for sharing <3

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Nans17 November 5th, 2017

Depression is like a bubble, a bubble that has enveloped me ...

I can see the world , its the sams world as before depression but at the moment everything seems duller and muted. The bubble makes me feel alone even when surrounded by people.

I observe these people and long to see what they see, to experience life without the bubble, to see the world in HD, full of life , the colour and vibrancy .....do I look dull to them when they look at me ...do they see the bubble that surrounds me ....maybe they do, maybe they are afraid to come close to the bubble.

Has it changed me and will I get out of the bubble.... that's what I long for ...that's what I fight everyday for .... to break free of this bubble.

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP November 16th, 2017

@Nans17 - absolutely :( it sucks all of the color out of everything and makes even fun activities seem like a dull boring thing. I often also wish I could experience the world the way not-depressed people do, even if just for a moment, to see what it was like, what they saw, what they felt. I love the bubble analogy because it's totally true. Sometimes I think of it as a shadowy void that surrounds me and keeps others away. Thank you for this. <3 Keep fighting, I will keep fighting with you. Maybe one day we will break free.

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DinosaursandDesserts November 24th, 2017

I named my depression JD after a bully from grade school. He had a pimply face, a constant look of disgust and was always condescending to me.

He acted like he hated my existence, and was disgusted by my presence. I see my depression as all the bullies from Catholic school who made me feel worse than worthless. The boy who pushed me out of the way to catch a baseball, while on my team, because he was sure I would not be able to catch it and ruin our teams chance of winning. The kids who hated me and wouldn't listen to me even when I was sure I had the right answer for group quizzes, and even when I was proven to be right still would reject any of my ideas out of spite.

Why did they hate me do much?? I carry this hatred with me as my depression and continue to hate myself for them even though they are gone and have lives of their own.

My depression is one of these hateful kids that wishes I was dead because I'm so disgusting.

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP November 25th, 2017

@DinosaursandDesserts - :( What an awful string of experiences you've had. People can be so cruel! I also tend to be haunted by the criticisms others have made of me. You deserved better! I hope JD leaves you alone one day. Thank you for sharing this with us. <3

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daddysprincess December 15th, 2017

My depression is like a my mirror, it's me and it's not me at the same time. She's running around and leaves me alone when I'm surrounded by good friends or good circumstances, but when I least expect it, she jumps out of the corner and confronts me with thoughts I thought they wouldn't even exist. She pushes my boyfriend away when he tries to help me and distracts me from everything joyful in the world. It's like she found a way to change my mind from one second to another.

Whenever someone is telling me that there are easy ways to kill her, she whispers "You know, you would miss me, right?" and nobody sees that it's not that easy to leave her behind.

She takes care of me, when no one does and she keeps me warm when it's cold.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP December 16th, 2017

@daddysprincess yes :( It is like a mirror, it looks like us even though it isn't us. That is a very good analogy. you're not alone in all this <3 we are here struggling with you. maybe we will figure it out one day if we keep talking about it. Thanks for sharing.

@daddysprincess I am so sorry to hear that. When those thoughts hit you it can be so hard to just 'switch them off'

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hipsta December 16th, 2017

My depression is a Faceless Enemy

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP December 16th, 2017

@hibsta - ah, yes :( the faceless enemy, I can definitely relate to that. Thank you.

3 replies
hipsta December 18th, 2017

@wontsleepwontwake its tough when you cant see the enemy! But in the end, I hope we make it out stronger <3

2 replies
wontwakewontsleep OP December 18th, 2017

@hibsta - Yeah! Me too. We got this. It can't hide from us for forever! *high five*

1 reply
hipsta December 21st, 2017

@wontsleepwontwake *high-five* 💕

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Okay faceless enemy... You will never win ever again !@hibsta

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Baalint December 16th, 2017

A snail in concrete down in a well, singing ' I'd like to move it move it '...

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP December 18th, 2017

@Baalint - Yes, I think I've heard of this analogy before: 3 snail steps forward and 2 snail slides back. One day that snail will move it. Thank you for sharing with us.

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ThoughtfulOrange388 December 17th, 2017

My depression is like an alternate me. It

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP December 17th, 2017

@ThoughtfulOrange388 yes I can see this :( It's like our depression takes over our lives sometimes and we are just stuck inside our bodies watching it happen. thank you for sharing.

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MelanieDaniels63 December 22nd, 2017

If I had to personify my depression it would be the evil villian in the movie, the bad guy/girl. Or if in a feeling state not relating it to a person of sorts I would say that vibe you get when you know that something is just lurking around the corner peaking out just waiting to come along.

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP December 23rd, 2017

@MelanieDaniels63 - yes :( It is like the evil villain in a movie, or like the haunting unknown thing in a horror movie that creeps around, waiting. Thank you for this perspective.

1 reply
MelanieDaniels63 March 24th, 2018

@wontsleepwontwake Your welcome have a great day/night!

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thatonesherakid December 23rd, 2017

Hm... I think that if my depression was a person, I think it is like an anti-fan. She's around to constantly remind me that I'm not good enough, and all she does is put me down. It's more like anxiety really, but it makes me really upset, lost, and confused. The downward spiral of hate and hopelessness eats you up until you're just gone. I want to be free from my thoughts, but they keep following me. Plus I'm inclined to listen to them.

1 reply
courageousTurtle2138 December 24th, 2017

@thatonesherakid If my depression was a person she would follow me around saying that I'm not good enough and that I shouldn't be around or be born snd that I'm a burden to every because of having ADHD.

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP December 24th, 2017

@courageousTurtle2138 - yes, very accurate :( I have a friend who suffers from both adhd + depression and I can only imagine the incessant invasive thoughts that follow around. Thank you for posting

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wontwakewontsleep OP December 24th, 2017

@thatonesherakid - I like this :( An anti-fan is a really way great to describe this. I have anxiety too, and depression and anxiety often gang up on me in awful ways, feeding off of each other and exhausting me. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Ane88 March 29th, 2018

@thatonesherakid

I fell the same like you.

What are you doing too feel better?

1 reply
thatonesherakid April 29th, 2018

@Ane88

hey, sorry. it's been a while since i've been on. anyways, i think i good way to cope was to do something that i really really enjoyed and be around people that were really supportive.

it took me a while to realize this because i was so caught up with being with one group of people that i forgot about the others that really cared for me.

so yeah, stuff you like to do and people you like being around are ways that make me feel better.

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GoldfishPies January 3rd, 2018

My depression is a being. One that only brings hate, confusion, tears, and feelings of lost hope. It has no mercy and it can creep up at any given time.

1 reply
wontwakewontsleep OP January 3rd, 2018

@GoldfishPies - Absolutely. Depression is such a nasty and predictably unpredictable thing. Thank you for posting.

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