Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]

This seems fun!

Well, I think my depression would be a lot like the sea on a foggy, cold winter day. They're somber and passive, hard to get a hold of. They're distant and contemplative. They care for others and the world but feel disconnected at the best of times, apathetic at the worst. Trying to imagine what they look like is difficult. They don't have distinguishable features, and trying to look at their face means seeing double, like staring at a fractured, fogged up mirror. The calm about them is more of them just being muted because internally things are too loud, a traffic jam with no clear start or end so all you can do is restlessly sit in place and wait for something to change. I think they would sing a lot like I do, but with less confidence. Singing on short, strained breaths with all the power for the sound coming from a strained throat instead of the diaphragm. They're solitary and enjoy doing things alone. They don't have much energy. They strive for constant perfection and tend to be incredibly self critical. They don't take well to change because they feel stuck in time.

I'd name them Hadeel. That was supposed to be my name. It means sound of the pigeon coos.

@wontwakewontsleep

kInda weird but to some extent I've always personified my depression and all the anxiety as this voice in my head. it's just so hard to pin it down. everytime I think I found the root cause there's another reason it's just doubting doubting and more doubting. I know it's multiple issues I try and narrow it down and it's something else all of a sudden and i can't trust my decisions. if it were like people or creatures it'd be a constant cycle of everyone who has hurt me. I think it's one specific person it's someone else and it refuses to stay as one thing. it's the little voice that asks are you sure you're depressed and not just justifying your actions and even now I doubt so I really need to wrap this up. <3

@wontwakewontsleep

If my depression was a person she would be like a female version of Eeyore. Tired and giving up.

@wontwakewontsleep When I take those evaluation tests suggested by 7cups, I always get the answer as 'minimal' along with the face of a therapist.

So, if I had to personify, I would imagine it to be a minimal version of that lady hahah

Many will get this reference. To me depression is like Dementors of Harry Potter. They suck out very happy thought out of you.

@wontwakewontsleep My depression is a person that would do things slowly, that relapses slowly. That would slowly cut off from social life, slowly starve, slowly dehydrate, all that kind of stuff. This person needs help, but he can't find somebody to trust and give him a push. This person feels deep emptiness in himself. This person can't think properly. This person puts others before himself. This person finds it difficult to change. This person needs somebody who he really trust to give him a push.

I never really thought about that. I learned to see my depression as an actual illness recently instead of a personal failure, but I never really had to think about it as a person yet.

I think my depression is a grandma, one that looks really kind and inviting and gives incredible warm hugs. That kind of person you'd look at and think "wow, yes, I feel so calm when I'm with her".

For me depression was a companion all through childhood and teenage years. I got my first symptoms back when I was 13 or 14, with 15 I got a place with a long-term therapist (more a crisis management since it was mainly focused on appointments only when things got rough). But I kind of grown up with depression. My friends used to turn sadness, eating disorders and depression into something beautiful. Something you should have if you want to belong. So I fed my depression and leaned into it. Building up only unhealthy coping mechanisms and make myself as miserable as possible. Fast forward a few years, most of those friends aren't my friends anymore and I finally have people around me that actually care, but depression and sadness was way too much of my comfort place already to step heavily on the break.

That's why I think depression for me is someone that looks really inviting and manipulates me into self hate and all of that really subtle.

That's also why it's so hard now to break free. I now know that this granny might look very comforting and loving, but if I stay with her for too long she'll start to make me feel worse. But sometimes, even with that knowledge you yearn for a person that makes you feel so safe, so I tend to turn around sometimes and embrace her again.

I'm really glad that I can see her true intentions now more and more and can resist the pull to that old gentle comfort more than back in the days. I'm pretty sure I'll be pulled back in by her charm a few more times in the future (like right now for instance - I'm really trying to pull myself free but I long for that comfort even more currently) but every single time I'll learn more and more of her tricks and how to combat them.

Maybe I'll one day am able to embrace that granny when she has lost all her power over me. That there might still be days where I only realize too late that she embraces me again, but I'll be able to hug her tight for a minute and let go and continue on with life.

This is a really beautiful coping technique and I've just learned something new about me while typing all of that. So thanks for sharing!

@wontwakewontsleep

1. what kind of person would it be? Irritable, anxious, sad, doubtful, untrustworthy, fatigue, lots of mood swings
2. what kind of hobbies would it have? Lazy, sleeping, always staying in bed
3. what would it look like? Blue, frowning face, tear’s watered up in eyes
4. what would its name be? Negative Nancy

Thanks so much for sharing

@wontwakewontsleep

If my depression were to be person, it would be a void.. a nothingness. The type when you look at it, it consumes every part of you. It would be a mass of dark dimension which sucks in every light coming its way. The type which would chain you down and torture you and you relish it.