New to the Depression Support Community in January 2015? Introduce yourself here.

Hello. I am new to this and am not quite sure how this works but I suppose I will tell my story here because I'm not quite sure where else I am supposed to. My name is Grace and I am from Washington. My parents love each other and love me very much. When I was 7 years old I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes which is a chronic disease, meaning it never goes away. When I was in 7thgrade, I started to distance myself. My parents thought this was simply me becoming a teenager and growing up. I started seeing a therapist in 7th grade but I just lied to her because I saw no point in therapy and she couldn't seem to find what was wrong. In 8th grade, I wanted to kill myself. I hated everything and felt so grey. A storm cloud descended on my brain and clouded all of my thoughts and I couldn't breathe or sleep. My parents took my to apsychiatristpsychiatristpsychiatristpsychiatristthere I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. I am currently on meds and have been for about a year. I was fine for a while but now I feel as if I am just where I was last year. I now rely on alcohol to make all my problems disappear momentarily and the more time goes on, the more irrational mybehaviorbecomes. I can't breathe anymore and I have such highs and lows. That is me.

Well done for getting that off your chest! If you ever need a chat...inbox me :)❤

I'm in Washington, too. Tacoma.

Im nog doing too good right now honestly . Im a homeless trans* teen. Its been really hard and im thinking of going back to the ward. I wish things could be better. Schizophrenia sucks

Hope everything works out in the end! We are all here for you dani :) sending love❤

Your freakin' beautiful and don't worry it'll all get better in time.

Welcome everyone, I hope everything gets better guys. We love you

Hello,

Where to start... [WARNING TRIGGERS MAY FOLLOW]

I'm 43, and have been dealing with depression for 20+ years now. About 20 years ago I put the barrel of a shotgun in my mouth and almost pulled the trigger. Something at that time told me not to though and I ended up spending a week in a hospital. Fast forward to about the last year or so and the depression has come back and with it it brought its friends anxiety and possibility adult ADHD.

And here I am, looking for comfort from people that have been where I am. I do plan on seeking out professional help as soon as time allows, don't get me wrong. There are just times I need someone to talk to that understands what its like. My wife has never had to deal with mental illness, so sometimes, although she tried her best, its just not the same.

Anyway I don't know what else to say... so Thank you for your time.

I wish I had a double barrel shotgun to put to my mouth. And the balls to do it.

Hey, Erick. It is hard to be surrounded by people who think you should be able to just snap out of it! Here's to finding some friends here.

Warning you now:

I'm not perfect. Not pretty. Just me.

I am 19. I've battled depression and anxiety since a very young age. Of course the mother abandonment thing started all of that when she left at 5 with her boyfriend who beat me and my family. I grew up constantly moving and in the care of my grandmother who was battling cancer. I want to say I wasn't really bad or should've been concerned until I hit 16. Weed. Alcohol. Another round of alcohol. And then finally the gateway to my arch enemy X. And to make it all better. I was already deep in depression with my grandma so soon to pass. I decided to keep it going as long as possible and finally a year later quit. Not without starting up my cutting habit... That was to feel something since I couldn't be feel happy anymore. Now I have a career started and life would be perfect if I could enjoy it. I'm emptyand hollow and can't seem to find any light. So I am here to talk about and see if with the right amount of questions that someone can help me hit what is the real nerve and the real problem since I feel I've lost who I am.

You are so strong. To be in that situation actually come out alive. You quit one addiction and picked up another. That's fine, you'll drop that one soon. It's all part of recovery. Try picking up writing or drawing. It helps.

Hi everyone,

My name is Rachel, i'm 19, and have been officially diagnosed with bipolar depression for about a year now. I struggle with family issues, self esteem issues, and obviously the underlying medical issues that come with a mental illness, but I am here to learn from others and to also keep myself sane, which 7COT has really helped with lately and for that I am thankful

Hi, im Aarika and I've been struggling with sever depression caused by a chemical imbalance. It was triggered by my grandfather died when I was nine. He battled cancer for 4 years. thats also around the time I lost my faith and when i started self harming. I was always bullied and I would talk to my grandpa about it. Without him I was lost, still am. I'm 15 now and still cant function correctly. 6 years and still alive no matter howmany times I've thought about suicide.

Im new to this not new to depression, I suffer from this everyday being sad and not even knowing why, its the worst filling in the world, i went to the dr he gave me citalopram 20mg it worked for awhile then all of a suden the last few days it seem to stop. Its so hard if not imposable to figure out why thats my story

My nameis Sara. I've been dealing with my depression for over 3 years. It hasn't been getting any better, only worse, and at this point, I'm not entirely sure it will. I've heard all the cliches from everyone and I'm really sick of them. I just wish I knew why I am this way.

I've had my depression for about 7years now andit's only gotten worse, i have a plethora of other issues but my depression was the first to rear it's head. It's like Dexter said 'my dark passenger' except it's my depression instead of a need to kill. It's almost like this thing i can rely on, the constant in my life when all else is going wrong my depression rises andfalls almost predictably which is scary.

Hey all. I've been trying to cope with my depression for the past 5 years or so. I only went for a diagnosis about 2 years ago and then only worked up the effort to take part in regular treatment about 6 months ago. My parent's divorce took 7 long and bitter years and my mum is an alcoholic. My father is physically abusive and my younger sister is a bully. Add pressure from school, and I became a truant in college. I didn't get the grades to get into university - the one thing I want to do. Rubbish jobs with constant stress over the past year finally did it and I had a couple of mental breakdowns in front of colleagues (I worked in a GP's practice and they were the most insensitive bunch of people I have ever met despite being front line care!) I see a psychologist and will have a CBT assessment next week. I just don't have the energy for anything anymore and don't enjoy anything (apart from lying in bed in the dark haha). I'm happy to chat with anyone going through similar stuff. I've always been good at giving advice but never following my suggestions myself!

@comfypillow I am fmilifam with this scenario. ImI consoling everyone and I'm worse with myself.

Hello I'm arpu. I'm new to this and I suffer from depression . Anything can really trigger my depression

I am Corey, I am 30 years old and have been suffering from depression for about 2/3rds of my life. Loneliness isthe cause of my depression, I have never had a girlfriend, havevery few friends and the few friends I have had over my life allwound up basically growntired of being 'brought down' by me or me being a burden to them. My obsession with finding a love in my life has catered to why I can't find anyone and always seeing failure in myself and hating myself to no end due to rejection and hartbreak from what I have been told is one ofthe many factors for why nowoman wants to be around me in terms of being a love, only their friend or pet project (yes I am jaded).

Most of my friendships are built around me being the support group for everyone however I have felt that I have never really had the support I need, just get cliches and hypocrite sayings from everyone I know/knew.

As a child going to young adult I was a master of keeping my emotions inside but since my early twenties its like trying to keep glass together using duct tape. Would do anything to be a vulcan and just be able to channel out my need to be with someone but its always there and every day I feel like I am getting emotionally punch in the face by everyone because it seems like everyone I know or see has someone in their lives. I know I am not the only one who is alone but I am sure the ones who know the feeling know that it often feels like you are the only one and all you can do is look yourself in the mirror to ask yourself what is wrong with you and even if there isn't you still find reasons because there are no real answers.

At this point I don't trust anyone with my feelings even what few friends I do have. I was brought here by one friend because she has given up trying to help me basicallybecause I have an answer for just about all of her suggestions. Which I feel I do, I have triedcounselingbut it is too expensive, they have always wanted me to throwthe blame game from myself to other people which I don't buy, tired countless meds all of which done nothing but shownegative side effects, even apsychiatrist threw up his hands with me.

At this point I feel like the only thingthat hasn't been tried is love. However no one believes me as they no almost age old that in order to love someone else you have tolove yourself. I find it incredibly impossible to do that formyself at this point. Waking up and fallingasleep are the worst times where I feel myloneliness hit me as I always long forsomeone to be close to that I have never had andnever will have it seems.

All I see and know is rejection and without some onewho could return the amount oflove I would give to them Idoubt I will ever see anything but a ugly monster in myself, the livingEeyore.

I don't know what will come of saying this here only to show my friend I gave it a shot. I am a extremely stubborn person and often don't believe a word of kindness anyone ever gives me (I dont trust anyone or their opinions). However it is what it is. All I know is I am typing this before I sleep in order to vent something out. Tomorrow will be the same and the feeling of lonliness andhelpless uselessness will be at its strongest and I don't want to feel like thatanymore.

I apologize for this war and peace sized negativity but it's how I feel and the only way I thought to introduce myself.

Hi I've been suffering depression all my life. It runs in my family. I found this out from my mom, who has depression, and yet she has never asked if I am depressed. I've never been diagnosed so I'm not even sure I am depressed but it just seems that way. I've taken several online self tests and all have said I am severely depressed. I've also talked with several friends who are also depressed and all have said that I'm most likely depressed. The main problem with hereditary depression I think is that there's no logical reason for me to be depressed. Whenever I feel depressed I also feel as if I'm just being stupid and feel like I'm just overreacting. My mom is always telling me that I'm a hormone factory (I'm 14) so I can sometimes feel as if that's true. That I'm not really depressed it's just my hormones.

Hello, I guess... I'm new to this thread. I suffer from Major Depression, and slightly from PTSD. The combination isn't the greatest thing, in the world. I've been suffering from depression since I was little which has been for about, six years now. I started suffering from PTSD a couple of years later due to the death of my mother. No one likes to be around a depressed person all of the time, and I don't like being depressed either. I want help, but at the same time I don't want to let people into my business. Also, I have trust issues. Once, I let someone in it just seems like they leave right when things get tough. I'm so depressed, that I can't even bring my self to faking happiness in school. I'm losing my friends, and I know it. But, I'm just so tired of faking it. I hate everything and everyone in the world. Life sucks. I was born into this cruel world, and I know that. Life will and never has been easy for me. Currently, I am sitting in my room highly depressed, typing all of this crap, and listening to sad music on Pandora. I want to cry, like really cry but I can't... I'm all out of tears I guess. Well, this is me... and my name is Jay btw.