New to the Depression Support Community in January 2015? Introduce yourself here.

Hey all. I've been trying to cope with my depression for the past 5 years or so. I only went for a diagnosis about 2 years ago and then only worked up the effort to take part in regular treatment about 6 months ago. My parent's divorce took 7 long and bitter years and my mum is an alcoholic. My father is physically abusive and my younger sister is a bully. Add pressure from school, and I became a truant in college. I didn't get the grades to get into university - the one thing I want to do. Rubbish jobs with constant stress over the past year finally did it and I had a couple of mental breakdowns in front of colleagues (I worked in a GP's practice and they were the most insensitive bunch of people I have ever met despite being front line care!) I see a psychologist and will have a CBT assessment next week. I just don't have the energy for anything anymore and don't enjoy anything (apart from lying in bed in the dark haha). I'm happy to chat with anyone going through similar stuff. I've always been good at giving advice but never following my suggestions myself!

Hello I'm arpu. I'm new to this and I suffer from depression . Anything can really trigger my depression

I am Corey, I am 30 years old and have been suffering from depression for about 2/3rds of my life. Loneliness isthe cause of my depression, I have never had a girlfriend, havevery few friends and the few friends I have had over my life allwound up basically growntired of being 'brought down' by me or me being a burden to them. My obsession with finding a love in my life has catered to why I can't find anyone and always seeing failure in myself and hating myself to no end due to rejection and hartbreak from what I have been told is one ofthe many factors for why nowoman wants to be around me in terms of being a love, only their friend or pet project (yes I am jaded).

Most of my friendships are built around me being the support group for everyone however I have felt that I have never really had the support I need, just get cliches and hypocrite sayings from everyone I know/knew.

As a child going to young adult I was a master of keeping my emotions inside but since my early twenties its like trying to keep glass together using duct tape. Would do anything to be a vulcan and just be able to channel out my need to be with someone but its always there and every day I feel like I am getting emotionally punch in the face by everyone because it seems like everyone I know or see has someone in their lives. I know I am not the only one who is alone but I am sure the ones who know the feeling know that it often feels like you are the only one and all you can do is look yourself in the mirror to ask yourself what is wrong with you and even if there isn't you still find reasons because there are no real answers.

At this point I don't trust anyone with my feelings even what few friends I do have. I was brought here by one friend because she has given up trying to help me basicallybecause I have an answer for just about all of her suggestions. Which I feel I do, I have triedcounselingbut it is too expensive, they have always wanted me to throwthe blame game from myself to other people which I don't buy, tired countless meds all of which done nothing but shownegative side effects, even apsychiatrist threw up his hands with me.

At this point I feel like the only thingthat hasn't been tried is love. However no one believes me as they no almost age old that in order to love someone else you have tolove yourself. I find it incredibly impossible to do that formyself at this point. Waking up and fallingasleep are the worst times where I feel myloneliness hit me as I always long forsomeone to be close to that I have never had andnever will have it seems.

All I see and know is rejection and without some onewho could return the amount oflove I would give to them Idoubt I will ever see anything but a ugly monster in myself, the livingEeyore.

I don't know what will come of saying this here only to show my friend I gave it a shot. I am a extremely stubborn person and often don't believe a word of kindness anyone ever gives me (I dont trust anyone or their opinions). However it is what it is. All I know is I am typing this before I sleep in order to vent something out. Tomorrow will be the same and the feeling of lonliness andhelpless uselessness will be at its strongest and I don't want to feel like thatanymore.

I apologize for this war and peace sized negativity but it's how I feel and the only way I thought to introduce myself.

Hi I've been suffering depression all my life. It runs in my family. I found this out from my mom, who has depression, and yet she has never asked if I am depressed. I've never been diagnosed so I'm not even sure I am depressed but it just seems that way. I've taken several online self tests and all have said I am severely depressed. I've also talked with several friends who are also depressed and all have said that I'm most likely depressed. The main problem with hereditary depression I think is that there's no logical reason for me to be depressed. Whenever I feel depressed I also feel as if I'm just being stupid and feel like I'm just overreacting. My mom is always telling me that I'm a hormone factory (I'm 14) so I can sometimes feel as if that's true. That I'm not really depressed it's just my hormones.

Hello, I guess... I'm new to this thread. I suffer from Major Depression, and slightly from PTSD. The combination isn't the greatest thing, in the world. I've been suffering from depression since I was little which has been for about, six years now. I started suffering from PTSD a couple of years later due to the death of my mother. No one likes to be around a depressed person all of the time, and I don't like being depressed either. I want help, but at the same time I don't want to let people into my business. Also, I have trust issues. Once, I let someone in it just seems like they leave right when things get tough. I'm so depressed, that I can't even bring my self to faking happiness in school. I'm losing my friends, and I know it. But, I'm just so tired of faking it. I hate everything and everyone in the world. Life sucks. I was born into this cruel world, and I know that. Life will and never has been easy for me. Currently, I am sitting in my room highly depressed, typing all of this crap, and listening to sad music on Pandora. I want to cry, like really cry but I can't... I'm all out of tears I guess. Well, this is me... and my name is Jay btw.