Negative thoughts

well I had the feeling like I had to run away and start over otherwise I would go insane. I also had feelings of worthlessness and like I going to amount to nothing. I also felt uncomfortable with my physical apperance to the point where I couldn't look in a mirror with saying "ew" or almost throwing up.

Hey have you heard of dysphoria?? Also, you will amount to something, as long as you keep trying!! You can do it

no i haven't heard of dysphoria. what is it?

Well, when I say dysphoria, I'm really talking about body dysmorphic disorder. Mayo Clinic says: "Body dysmorphic disorderis a type of chronic mental illness in which you can't stop thinking about a flaw in your appearance ? a flaw that is either minor or imagined. But to you, your appearance seems so shameful that you don't want to be seen by anyone." I'm used to using this term in reference to transpeople, but my cousin probably had this--she hated how she looked and was unable to go outside without makeup on. It was just an idea, but if it sounds right, you could research it :)

I'm going to fail all my classes.

Do you have any evidence to know this? Have you had some good grades in the past? What does your teacher think?

I'm in my sophomore year of college, and yes I've passed classes a majority of myclasss, failedtwo. I've been noticing that I've been receiving poor scores on my assignments (currently at 60/150 total points). So I started crunching some numbers, and in order to pass I need to 100% my other programs and get at least 85% on the midterm and final. Not impossible, but is daunting prospects. In my other most worrisome class, I bombed my first midterm (14/45) and it has me concerned for how things will continue on as we get further along in the course. In two of my three classes I currently have an F, in my third one I have a D. It's not that they're impossible to raise, but I'm concerned that I can't fix all 3.

It sounds a little overwhelming for you right now. I do like that you said it's not impossible though - it shows you have some hope left. I wish you all the success in your future assessments. I have seen many students turn their grades around - let's hope you can too.

By the way, thanks for responding. I really appreciate you reaching out.

I feel like everyone who isn't part of my tiny group of friends hate me and because of that I just feel like crying in the middle of class or just screaming and because of that sometimes I can lapse into this really secluded state

Do you know this for sure? Can you tell what they are thinking? Hate is a strong word - do you think that they spend a lot of time thinking about you in a negative way?

Well I've attempted to talk to them quite a number of times and they just act like I'm not there and it isn't s good feeling

I am sorry to hear that. What do your friends say about it? Are they treated in the same way?

No I don't think they actually notice

Although it is really easy to fall in to a state where no one likes you, it is not that hard to fall back out of it! There are plenty of people out there and I'm sure your a bright person! Share your love and friendliness and meet people! You never know what kind of relationship you'll spark with a simple "hello". :)

I mentioned this in the chat earlier, but I feel like I need to state it again on the forum just so I can see it readily and work to challenge it.

A negative thought I've been having almost daily for the past few months is that I can't turn writing into a career because I'm not good enough. I have a Bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing and I learned a lot, but I feel like I have a long way to go before I can actually call myself a "writer."

I'm sure you have heard this a million times, but writing is an art. People are gifted with this skill and others have to work to pursue it. My friend is also majoring in that and she is struggling as well! She practices when she can and stays positive. Know that you can and you will pursue it. Nothing is impossible!

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Thank you for joining @Sarah and I today! Wehope to see you again next week for another discussion.

I'm so tiredof never being enough. Of being a failure. I try my best, but I always f*ck up and end up being called selfish

I mentioned this in the chat earlier, but I feel like I need to state it again on the forum just so I can see it readily and work to challenge it.

A negative thought I've been having almost daily for the past few months is that I can't turn writing into a career because I'm not good enough. I have a Bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing and I learned a lot, but I feel like I have a long way to go before I can actually call myself a "writer."

Hello there, I'm Lilyrose, age thirteen. I have been through a lot. Trauma, sexual harassment, bullying, betrayel, abandonment, verbal abuse, and depression. I have severe trust issues and I am painfully shy. I still have dreams, memories, and flashbacks of the traumatic event, even though it has been a year. I am scared of my own shadow. I hate being hugged. Everything frightens me. Loud noises, sudden movements, and being touched. I can't talk about it without bursting out crying. What is wrong with me?

I need to talk.

I have my entrance exams for law colleges in two weeks but I feel like I am not gonna clear any.

And I feel like I am never good enough.

@charmingShade9001, so you think that you will fail the entrance exam and that you are never good enough.

Why do you think you will fail your exam? Can you come up with examples of other possible outcomes regarding your exam?

Is it really true that you are never good enough? Do you have evidences for this statement? What about evidences against that?

"I feel awful. And I deserve it... I will be forever depressed, there's no escape from it..."

It's okay. I feel awful, because of a mental illness, it's not my fault. And maybe I feel depressed now, but that doesn't mean my feelings won't change in the future. If I give myself time and patience, I'm sure I can recover - last time I did.

Everything will work itself out, just keep pushing through your problems and just remember,people love you and care for you. Every minute that you spend being sad is a minute wasted;a minute that you'll never get back; so you might as well spend the next minute happy and enjoy it because you'll never get that minute back(:

@placidVase8174, thank you for the support ^^ Unfortunately I don't make any conscious decision to feel sad, numb and despaired - having depression makes it beyond my control to just stop feeling that way.

Sometimes I wish I could get these wasted minutes back, the blackest days and hours of my life. But I can only live forward and not backward, so there's really no point in such thinking. I can however, focus on this second, and this one, and this one and try to make it mine, even if my brain screams at me that it's pointless.

Have a lovely day!

You are not alone.

No matter how dark the places are that your feelings might take you

We may not all understand what you have went through or are going through

But we can all stand by you.

Together, we won't feel alone.

@hemant1997, what a kind thing to say. Thank you, I really appreciate it ^^