Introductions
I guess I should introduce myself. 20 year old college student whose main problems won't go away until I die or our medical technology makes us essentially gods. Most of the time I'm able to accept my life is terrible, but for the past few months something's changed. I'm tired of things never improving, and I have a full long life ahead of me. Part of me knows nothing that can be said here will change my problems, but the rest of me is getting desperate.
No need to have a fancy introduction 
I'm really proud of you for sticking through and thriving as best as you can, I'm sure you're doing a great job because you're definitely worth it! Are you coping alright? That's important too!
@Emily619
I most definitely am not coping well, but my coping mechanisms are about the only things that work.
@BDRD
Oh no! 
What coping mechanisms do you use?
@Emily619
The better ones include distractions and procrastinations. The worse (and until the past week more common) one is self harm. I've tried other methods, the ones I have are the only ones that help.
@BDRD
Hmm so not too many positive one's, unfortunately! Have you tried any alternatives to self harm before? 
@Emily619
Yupp. None of them give quite the same adrenaline rush, which is the main reason why I self harm, the change of hormones and my body switching to survival mode help keep all the pieces of my mind together.
@BDRD
Yeah, I totally understand that it can definitely be hard to suppress self harm triggers. Before you self harmed, or while you were clean, what was different? Could you try to incorporate that in your life today if it was a feeling of happiness, for example? Being able to stay clean is absolutely wonderful!
@Emily619
The only real difference between me before and me now is before I had hope. But I can't keep lying to myself. As I said in my introduction, my problems won't go away until I'm dead or humans are gods.
@BDRD
Well, problems definitely can't go away in one night (although I wish they could!), however I definitely believe they can get better with time :) Did anything in particular cause you to lose hope?
@Emily619
Nope. My demons have been very patient, and they've finally worn me down. At least they haven't fully won. I've probably been better than most, I doubt a majority of kids would last long if you forced them to accept their own death could come every time they eat.
@BDRD
That's really great that you won't let the demons win, and thus staying strong. Honestly, people who can remain emotionally strong can be hard to find nowadays! So, with the demons wearing you down though and trying to fight them, does that kind of make you lose hope easier?
@Emily619
I don't lose hope anymore, it's already lost. Even a city on fire will eventually die down and end if no more fuel is added, and it's been a long time since life has given me something to work with. And with the paranoia/shyness that borderlines social anxiety/antisocial (yes, as in psycopath) thing I got going on in my head, it's very unlikely my lot will be changing much.
@Emily619
I don't lose hope anymore, it's already lost. Even a city on fire will eventually die down and end if no more fuel is added, and it's been a long time since life has given me something to work with. And with the paranoia/shyness that borderlines social anxiety/antisocial (yes, as in psycopath) thing I got going on in my head, it's very unlikely my lot will be changing much.
@BDRD I think you're doing brilliantly. Not only have you come on here to try and get support but you are also pushing yourself forward. Sometimes life presents us with problems that aren't possible to get over.. You might have no control over it but you have control over how you let it affect you. There are many people here to support you, and if you ever need to chat you can PM me. Stay strong :)
@SpiritedShaye
I've been strong for years now, since I was a child, with no breaks. How much longer can you honestly expect me to keep it up
@BDRD You don't have to stay strong all the time. That is why we're here to support you
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