Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
honestly, i have no idea what to say in this kind of question, and since yesterday i was thinking if i should join this community or what. i just typed "what to do if you want to be alone and not bothered by anyone else" in google. and i was shocked that most of the links showed up is about depression. i thought i was just lonely or had self-pity or just punishing myself. i don't share this to my friends or my family. i know they can't understand me because i can't understand myself. i accepted everything in my life already. i am hopeless, i am worthless, i am a failure, i am nothing. yep, that's how i'm feeling today.
@BooWrath I am so happy that you decided to join this site as a member and post on this forum, that takes a HUGE amount of courage. You mentioned that you don't want your family to know. My family doesn't know about my depression either and I've been hiding it for a while. Trust me, it does more harm than good to keep it all inside. If you don't want to tell your parents, how about someone else you trust?
You also mentioned that you feel hopeless, worthless, failure, etc. You might have thoughts like you're not (blank) enough, and that is very common with people with depression. I know these thoughts like to mess with your head and make you think less of yourself but you are strong. You did so very much today even if all you did was breathe. You are enough. You're worth something, you can be helped, if you just reach out. I know that it's so, very hard to talk to someone about all this pain but you can do it. I know it. It doesn't have to be today, or tomorrow, or next week, but if you want to reach out then I strongly recommend you do just that <3
Broken.
I feel like everything I've worked so hard on has just been ripped from me. My "boyfriend" turned on me and started calling me names.. I'm still not altogether sure it was him..but I have basically cried for the past few days. And it sucks
@lovingPine3496, lovely, you feel terrible, because your boyfriend said awful things to you. You don't deserve that, regardless of the context of the situation. It's okay to cry, darling, because you were hurt. It's fine, you are fine, the pain will pass. We will stay with you and wait and support you. You are not alone.
Sending you lots of comforting hugs to ease your heartaches.
I feel nothing. im just empty inside.
@blueVase4357, oh, the numbness, I know it wel.. Sometimes I cannot decided if I prefer the waves of pain and dread or the absolute freezing silence from my mind, as if it is impossible to break out from the void. Nothingness is terrifying. Still, you are more than it. You are still with us, reaching out to us and telling us about your heartaches. It is enough.
Best wishes, wonderful! Remember that we are here for you if you want to talk.
since early Sunday morning..i haven't been ok. I was on my way back from an event in Wisconsin..im sitting on the bus planning to sleep..i put my earbuds in and blast my music. all the sudden i start crying, briefly..but still. Monday I tried talking to him (My "boyfriend") and got no response. the previous day I got a message saying not to involve him....im still confused as to what that meant. Later that night i sent him another message saying i missed him. He said he didn't care. that threw me wayyyyy off. this was the same guy who told me that he "loved" me and he doesn't care about me all the sudden. I ask if he's being serious..cause sometimes he'll play around like that...but still something was off. he said "yeah, why would I?" at this point im already crying again. i responded saying i guess he has no reason to if he doesn't care anymore. then he was relieved that i finally understood..which i still actually don't. "I thought you were a complete dumba**". its always a joy when the person who you confess your feelings to miraculously just turns on you out of nowhere. yeah it happens to me A LOT but everyone tells me not to give up..or that it wont help anything. I tell him that i'm crying and that he made me cry.."keep crying c*nt"
WOW. i have respected you since the day we met..and this is what i get? Im seriously curious as to what happened over the weekend while i was outta town..i didn't do anything..we hardly talked to be honest..i hardly talked to anyone. he hasn't shown up to school consecutively in so long..i am already worried..but i feel i should break things off (even though it was barely a relationship) and just do my best to move on. as much as i don't want to..i kinda have to for myself...so i don't feel like staying in bed all day or starving myself again because i literally have no motivation to get out of my bed. failing all my classes because i don't do anything but sleep in class (which im not doing because good grades and such are my ticket to freedom) but its so tempting to just give up and not care about anything. to become a recluse. to maybe communicate with one person. to sit around and watch all my friends disperse because i can no longer put my masks on everyday...becuase i shed tears everyday. I need to-- I want to get better..i want to actually be with someone who actually cares about me, who wont hurt me..
im sorry for this...im just really upset and my thoughts are jumbled..
@pine *hugs you x9000*
I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm certain that you deserve a lot better that what you're "boyfriend" is currently treating you. :-( I know it's very difficult for you just now, but you DO deserve someone who'll treat you like a queen, who'll make you happy.
@TaylorTheLemonSlayer i know there's something up. i talked to a couple friends and showed them the texts..and she said that doesn't even sound like him. He has never talked to me that way. I've done nothing but love him and all the sudden i get this random hate. Like.....no....i need to investigate this. Until he comes back and i cant actually talk to him
I've had a relationship end like that. Being dropped cold like that hurts. A lot. It's not something that you can easily get over either. I know it will be hard (an understatement for sure), but I hope you will get through this. I hope you find someone better, or something better, to take your mind away from the pain. You deserve happiness.
I'm mostly just feeling exhausted. I just want to leave work, go home and crawl in my bed. I've also been wondering if maybe I have some sort of PTSD due to being sexually abused at a young age, because it has been on my mind a lot lately and I can't stop thinking about it :/
@brittanystrang, lovely, it must be really overwhelming for you to realize having this experience. I cannot imagine your confusion and pain, but know you are not alone. You have every right to cry, to feel exhausted. You need time and support, and we can provide you the latter. We care about you. We will listen.
I encourage you to connect with one of the many great listeners in our community, who are verified and will provide the best care for you. You don't have to procces the news alone. We can help you cope with it.
Let me know how are you feeling today. Sending you all of my strength, wonderful!
Really dysphoric and bad.
Parents asked me today why my Facebook pronouns were set to he/him (I'm a transgender ftm)
@neozal, sorry to hear that you feel so bad. Confronting your parents must be really hard. Would you like to tell us more about it? Did you tell them a truth about yourself?
I hope you feel a bit better today. If you want to talk, we'd love to listen, lovely. We care about you. You deserve the support.
By the way, are you familiar with our trans support forums? There are lots of young people who have similar experiences as yourself and can relate and help you. You are not alone, lovely.
Sending you all of my love!
i feel like killing myself. or at least severe harm resulting in hospitalization. my parents just don't get it.
Parents don't ever get it I swear your not alone And I hope you have a beautiful day
Hi Gentlegrspes, My parents didn't understand at first either. But I went to the hospital and started medication and over time they grew to understand'. Please know that your parents still love you even though they don't understand yet. Can you call your family doctor and get an appointment ? Is there another adult like a teacher a coach who you could talk to if your parents still are having trouble understanding? If you can't get a doctors appointment very soon it would be a good idea to go the hospital. Please write back. This is not at all your fault. You can get treated and you will get better. Until your parents understand I will be your mum ok? I understand. Hugs!
Lol that moment when you realize that the majority of any type of relationship you have with another person likely consists of you thinking they may care but really they are just putting up with your existence and don't give 2 sh*ts
@Smsmsm123, it sounds like you have a heavy heart right now. Would you like to tell us more about your relationships problems, lovely? We are here to listen to you.
Best wishes, wonderful!
Its Funny how I will likely not get into college. But then again I probably will and probably think this b/c i just like ripping myself apart
@Smsmsm123, school applications are very high-stressing activity. You doubt yourself, lovely, but until you would officially know where are you standing on, there is really no point to that. I don't know your situation, but I know that anxiety can eat up our whole mind.
We can help you find your pieces and pick yourself up. We are here for you.
Lots of hugs!
Lol like always life is s**t