Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
I feel like I'm still not genuine. I am not authentic because my mind likes living under the shadows of the light. I just need to keep pushing my mind in the right direction to finally prove that the there is nothing wrong with the real me.
Lonely and tired. I hate crying every night...
I feel displaced and hurt. I feel like a ghost and that no one sees me or when they do, they don't understand me. I wanted to cry multiple times today and I eventually did.
I have so much pressure to live up too my brother graduated with a law degree andmy sister is graduating with a surgical nursing degree...and I have dropped out of university last year because of my anxiety, I didn't know what was wrong with me until I spoke to my friends...I'm now in another uni and it was all going well until I started feeling anxious and shaky, I keep avoiding situations and homework because I can't seem to get out of my room...if I was living at home it would have been easier because I'd have my mum or sister or brother telling me to get up for uni but I live in student accommodation in a different city to them so I stay at home and when it hit 10am when my lecture starts and I'm dressed and ready but not going because ofmy worries offailingand not being competent i become sweaty and unbeaten got anxious and start pacing up and down my room breathing in and out....I start getting angry and upset that I am this way. Ihave always been dedicated and loved my course but now that things are happening for me to get my dream job I have anxiety! I hate it, it's stopping me from achieving great things like my siblings have.
I hate feeling worthless I feel like I have no one to talk too...I don't want to fail in life I just want to make my family proud but I don't know what's wrong with me I can't seem to fix me.
Sounds like you are comparing yourself to your siblings and it is causing you this anxiety. I know the feeling as I went through the same thing. I finally realized I'm my own person and have my own unique traits and talents. Your folks will love you and be proud of you no matter what you choose to do with your life. You have a uniqueness that is reserved for you and should pursue what gives you passion. If you do, you will be a tremendous success! I went to a counselor to work out these deep seeded feelings and its sohelpful to get it out and learn how to deal with these horrible anxious feelings that freeze you in place. You are not alone, anxiety is a brain trick....brain tells you lies. You are strong, you just don't believe it now. Can you find a counselor to open up to? Once you release these feelings you will get the confidence to move forward. Been there, done that.....and proud of who I am like I'm proud of my brothers and sisters who followed their own paths. Praying you find your way and realize you are a beautifully unique person and can walk with confidence!
I feel the exact same way
I feel hopeless. I feel irritable, I hate that, everyone seems to think I'm just a mean person, but I was really lovely before this depression, bouncy and happy. When I see people like that it makes me think they're idiots for believing in what the world parades as happiness; why am I so sour? It's a very unattractive aspect of my depression. People cansympathisewith the sad girl who looks at her shoes, but nobody wants to help thepessimisticb***h who can't manage conversations.
Lonely, frustrated. As if dealing with ptsd and major depression hasn't been enough to handle, I had been out on workmans comp since oct. I was forced back to work, obviously to early. I ended up in the emergency room last nite. Back out of work again. So frustrated right now. Does it ever end?!?!
I am the oldest child in this family I am in right now and I have so much freaking pressure. I feel like I am carryingthe weight if the world on my shoulders and someone is pushing down to make it even harder. I don't know how to do what makes me happy. I have always done everything for everyone else. The job I am working towards, I am in band, I dress a specific way, I go to a church I don't like, and I don't even eat what I want to. My life is just a mixture of what everyone I have ever known's thoughts about who I should be. I need to turn this around and I need help.
I am the oldest child in this family I am in right now and I have so much freaking pressure. I feel like I am carryingthe weight if the world on my shoulders and someone is pushing down to make it even harder. I don't know how to do what makes me happy. I have always done everything for everyone else. The job I am working towards, I am in band, I dress a specific way, I go to a church I don't like, and I don't even eat what I want to. My life is just a mixture of what everyone I have ever known's thoughts about who I should be. I need to turn this around and I need help.
Sorry dont know why it posted twice
I feel like I see something that I've been avoiding for a while. I am alone, and all the work I do and all the money I earn cannot erase that fact. It can only help me forget about it, for a while.
Love your family and your friends, while you still have them. Nothing means more
Thats true, nothing is more valublethan love, family and friends!
Valuable*
I feel sobored line ive seen everythkngand liveda thousand lives im exhausted from my own brain askingand asking everything i see and the war it desesparatly tries to create in my head so I feel alive. Not Alive, but alive. Desesperate survival reflex.