Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

I have been dealing with depression for over ten years, after all medications and counseling, still feel numb like nothing works! I also try to be around people that are positive, but that's a rare quality to find! Definitely can't count on my family! Ever since my parents passed away a few years ago I feel like I'm completely alone even though I'm married and have four kids! It's the worst feeling when you're with somebody and theymake you feel alone!

Drained.

I wish i was dead but i am too afraid to try, im scared that i wont succeedand my mother would get mad at me.

I told my dad about my depression and he didn't take it so well so now I feel so hurt, and like I'm a disappointment, and extremely embarrassed. and regretful.

I have started a course of antidepressants to help me through this difficult period of time in my life. Since beginning the medication I have been miserable! I mean, I was struggling before but now I find the medications have nearly made life unbearable. I don't feel like myself at all and the meds have given new life tomy anxiety. I am so very lost and sad these days...please tell me it gets better. I am starting to regret having started taking medication.

It's really frustrating to go to your parents and have them invalidate your feelings. To reach for help and to be told you're drowning for attention. I'm sick of being told that I can go to these trustedpeople who are supposed to love me, when when I needed them most, they told me I'm being over dramatic. What am I supposed to do now?

Alone, sad, angry. I was getting better but now it's worse then before.

To say the least, i wish i was dead. nothing new. but i wish that all of this pain would go away.

Im tired of acting

I was asleep. Someone kept calling my name, yelling for me to get up. Sleep was so much better. They threatened to throw a book at me. They did. I felt no pain, but a hardback book hit my nose. "She's bleeding" someone said casually. I pulled my hand up to my nose and pulled back. A small pool of blood had formed in my hand. I went to the bathroom. I kept hearing someone call my name. I woke up, for real this time. I clutched the sheets. I let go.

This has been my dream. And lately I've been angry and so lonely and sad. I cannot stand to be touched and the harsh judgements of those around me are beginning to dance around in my head. I feel empty, mostly. A worthless person on this earth.