vent?
um so I’m Lucy, and I’ve been having a problem for a while now and I can’t hold it in. I know it’s my fault, but I really need to vent and just get it off my chest. Whoever reads this, thanks.
so I’m starting my sophomore year of highschool and I’m 16. I have many flaws that are noticeable. For example I’m very chatty and I get off topic a lot. I like school, I like to learn, and I don’t always mean to get super talkative or get off topic and be distracting sometimes. me and my sister were talking about school since it starts in a week and how they are enforcing rules, and my dad kept butting in to our conversations and saying “yeah, I don’t want any more phone calls about you being chatty and distracting! This is the whole reason they made these rules, for people like you who are distracting to their classmates.” I tried so hard not to cry because my dad would say “I’m a parent, this is just a teaching lesson, it’s what we do” because he thinks I’m over dramatic when he says stuff like this that’s supposedly just “parenting” like yeah maybe it is but it’s so mean sounding in my opinion. I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he just says “it’s not mean. It’s just parenting” It feels like I’m being too dramatic, but at the same time, it hurts! like really bad! It stabs me in the heart and makes me feel like a disappointing daughter, because he only ever brings up the negative side of me. Even in good achievements, like a speech or a choir concert. In anything, really. I don’t think anything/anyone can help my situation but I really need to get this off my chest because I have no one else I can talk to.
@oliveTree4069
Haiii Lucyy, how're you doing now?
Sooo, parents.... their scolding gets pretty hurtful sometimes indeed, but hey, theyre our parents, nothing much we can do except try not to repeat the mistakes. You never know whats going on in their lives, maybe theyre stressed, maybe theyre upset about something else and they take it out on you by mistake.
But either ways, theyre only scolding us for our own good yea? And no matter how much they may scold, you know they love you a lot. So instead of taking it in a bad way, use it as motivation to make them proud, cus they do sacrifice a lot for us. And no, you're not being over dramatic, you're just sensitive like lots of others. Anyways, do your best, good luckkkkkk.
PS: i think being chatty is a really really fun character for a person, its not a flaw, so dont call it one. Chatty people are jus soooooo much fun to be around. So embrace your chattiness lol, but jus try not to overdo it in a school or formal setting yea?
Have a good dayyy!!!
I've always been the chatty child, too. My voice is also loud and commanding. It annoys some people, especially teachers. But you know what? I don't care. I see my gregariousness as a real blessing. Being a chatty extrovert makes life easier, in my opinion. I can make friends anywhere. I never worry about joining a large crowd. I'm also always heard, because my booming voice makes it difficult to ignore me. It's harder for people (usually men) to interrupt my thoughts or to take credit for my ideas. I can give a speech without needing a microphone. If I call for help, everyone will hear me. I use my chattiness to learn new things, to make other people feel at ease, and to build relationships. Sure, there are times when I need to reign it in, and that's something that I'll probably always need to work on; however, I generally think it's a positive character trait.
Maybe you could work on accepting yourself as you are and reframing your thoughts so that you see your traits as something positive?
One more reply:
Your feelings are valid. You aren't being dramatic. You're allowed to feel hurt, when someone's words are causing you pain. Your family should be willing to communicate with you differently, if that's what you need, and vice versa. Have you tried telling your father what would work better for you? Have you given him clear examples? Some people are just hyper critical. Maybe he's more of a logical thinker than a feeler, so he can't relate. Maybe he assumes that you know he's proud of you.
@oliveTree4069
hey i definitely understand where your coming from. You deserve to have your accomplishments acknowledged, and I hope someone sees that. It’s not much but I can definitely be a friend or even just an ear to you if you want. Wish you the best
This is a great place to pour out those feelings as often as you can. It helps.
None of this is your fault and blaming yourself for your feelings just makes things worse. Your dad isn't understanding how his words are hurting you because he is making a decision to not listen to your concerns. That is his choice, not yours.
So for right now just do the best you can with school and come here for validation when things feel off. You deserve to have people cheering in your corner. @oliveTree4069
@oliveTree4069
Hey Lucy, it sounds like you're carrying a lot on your shoulders. Venting is a healthy way to let out what's been bothering you, so good on you for reaching out. It's tough when we're aware of our flaws, but remember, nobody's perfect. Getting chatty or off-topic sometimes doesn't define your worth. Your passion for learning and school is commendable, and we all have moments where we unintentionally become a distraction. It's understandable that your dad's comments hurt – we all want our parents' support. Don't be too hard on yourself; you're not alone in feeling this way. It's brave to share your feelings, and even though I'm just text on a screen, I'm here to listen if you need to talk. You're not disappointing anyone, and focusing on the positives you achieve is important. Hang in there, and don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or even a counselor for support. 🌟💕