idrk
tw// sh
is it just me or what? no matter how much i cut myself, watch the blood drip, cant feel nothing no more. like im hollow from the inside. its like im dead. and its really weird cuz i wanna get out of this, and tbh its real creepy that i cant. i dont feel me anymore. like im someone else in this body if that makes sense? well is it just me or does it rlly happen to others too cuz this empty asf feeling and unrealistic feeling is way too much. i dont feel real no more and its been this way for a long time now. js wanna get out of this. ive had an intense fear of needles and blades eversince i was a kid, to a point where id almost pass out anytime id see a needle. and now im here cutting myself over and over feeling absolutely nothing
@someoneidk468 sometimes the hurt we feel is deeper than cuts, we just don't realise it at the time🙁 I was 11 years old I remember the day I turned numb. I could feel pain but I couldn't react to it, I stopped crying, I didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore. But I'm 24 now, and I've never been happier, things changed around for me at the age of 18 🙂❤ so there is hope, one-day hopefully it will all just be a old memory for you to ❤ never give up on yourself or others. Reach out for help and take any that's offered ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ I'm right here for you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 im really sorry you've been through this. thank you so much💗
@someoneidk468 Definitely not the only one. Don't know if that's comforting or the fact that other people, actually probably lots of people out there, are *** up rn and can't recognize themselves anymore is actually more depressing lol. I'm one of them. I'm also at the point where cutting is doing nothing (and I also used to be terrified of needles) and if I do cut, I'm compelled to just finish the job. But, just like you, I haven't offed myself despite the numbness and the continued feeling of being a hamster caught on the same self-destructive nihilistic wheel. So, why haven't we just ended ourselves? Why do we persist in pain?
Well: there is no such thing as a sane human adult, they've all got trauma regardless of how 'happy' they seem to be. but, it's incredible that people aren't hurling themselves off buildings all the time, isn't it? there must be some impossible strength in human beings, in you and me, that claws along and drags our reluctant bodies along despite everything. it's instinctual. you don't want to off yourself, you want to feel something- if you can't connect to human beings, connect with something else (not your razor blade). make yourself cry, make yourself scream, make yourself ding along to songs- you exist, you incredible human being, you still exist and you're still you. despite it all, you are still you.
i nearly offed myself this evening and i got in my feels for a moment. hopefully this helps.
@determinedSea4370 you're right, thank you sm fr it was rlly helpful of u💗
