What’s wrong with me?
I don’t know if it’s depression or not but I seem to be totally unable to do anything. Days seem to fly past in a blink and it’s like I’m swimming through treacle. I can’t build up any enthusiasm for anything, or rather any motivation. There are lots of things I want to do but it all seems so overwhelming. I think I’ll go to bed early and watch a movie, when I get there I can’t pick one or I’ll decide I want to read instead. Writing it down it sounds so petty and small but it’s not like that to me. I feel like I will never actually do anything again. Small tasks fill me with dread, I’ll put things off and agonise over them rather than tackle them - and this is the simplest of tasks. I feel like I’m constantly waiting for disaster to happen - to the point where I am nervous about ordering something online because waiting for it to come means I’m accelerating the time towards “the thing” happening. I’m currently taking citalopram but it doesn’t seem to help, I feel like I never actually enjoy anything, I just go through life with stuff happening around me. I did self refer to an online counsellor but it didn’t really help, it felt like all they concentrated on was mindfulness which does nothing for me. I also suffer from anxiety and OCD like fears re dirt and being responsible for preventing anything bad happening to my loved ones. I’m not good at talking to strangers about my problems, does anyone have any suggestions for online therapy or self help? Sorry for the long windedness and I know it’s first world problems but knowing that doesn’t reduce how it makes me feel!
Oh, I am so sorry. It sounds like you are in the depths of it right now. I have been in the very same treacle and it is hard. But the way out is there.
It just takes lots of time and support. If one counselor doesn't work, try another. If one medication isn't working, try another. It took me quite a bit of trying to get things right but I eventually did.
If you want, you can email to this thread daily, no judgment. I will answer once a day every day. If you get the stuff out of your head it gets a little easier. @selfconfidentBlueberry2885
Thank you so much, it’s nice to know someone else feels or has felt the same, and that there’s a way through it!
I am glad to help. How was your day today? Still feeling stuck?
Sorry, I’ve had a mad time at work. I feel a little better, but I’m still struggling with motivation, especially if it comes to doing anything in any way “official”. Even renewing my car insurance stresses me out and I’ll leave it until the last possible second, even though I stress about it all the time I’m putting it off! Most of the time I just want to curl up under the duvet, that’s all that gets me through the day!
I can imagine that doing those official things can feel pretty overwhelming at times. How many of them can you do from the comfort of your duvet? Location can make a bit of a difference.
Sending lots of strength as you move forward to the next task. @selfconfidentBlueberry2885
How have things been going? I have been thinking about you. @selfconfidentBlueberry2885
i’m also diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ocd … i know exactly how you feels and how it feels , i hope you find the support you’re looking for soon enough