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selfconfidentBlueberry2885
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PathStep 2 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceApril 10, 2024
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What’s wrong with me?
Depression Support / by selfconfidentBlueberry2885
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more I don’t know if it’s depression or not but I seem to be totally unable to do anything. Days seem to fly past in a blink and it’s like I’m swimming through treacle. I can’t build up any enthusiasm for anything, or rather any motivation. There are lots of things I want to do but it all seems so overwhelming. I think I’ll go to bed early and watch a movie, when I get there I can’t pick one or I’ll decide I want to read instead. Writing it down it sounds so petty and small but it’s not like that to me. I feel like I will never actually do anything again. Small tasks fill me with dread, I’ll put things off and agonise over them rather than tackle them - and this is the simplest of tasks. I feel like I’m constantly waiting for disaster to happen - to the point where I am nervous about ordering something online because waiting for it to come means I’m accelerating the time towards “the thing” happening. I’m currently taking citalopram but it doesn’t seem to help, I feel like I never actually enjoy anything, I just go through life with stuff happening around me. I did self refer to an online counsellor but it didn’t really help, it felt like all they concentrated on was mindfulness which does nothing for me. I also suffer from anxiety and OCD like fears re dirt and being responsible for preventing anything bad happening to my loved ones. I’m not good at talking to strangers about my problems, does anyone have any suggestions for online therapy or self help? Sorry for the long windedness and I know it’s first world problems but knowing that doesn’t reduce how it makes me feel!
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