Weekly Prompt #9: How can you set realistic goals and expectations for yourself when dealing with depression?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed: How do you maintain hope and positivity when you're feeling depressed? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: How can you set realistic goals and expectations for yourself when dealing with depression?
Depression is a tough battle, and it can be hard to set realistic goals and expectations for yourself when you're struggling with it. However, it's important to keep in mind that setting small, achievable goals can actually be incredibly helpful in managing your depression.
Please remember that progress is not always linear. There will be good days and bad days, and that's okay. It's important to be patient with yourself and to keep pushing forward, even when it feels like you're not making any progress.
Also, please share your feedback on how are you finding these weekly prompts. On a scale of 1-10 where 1 as "meh" to 10 as "Loved it". Is there anything I can do to make this discussion prompts better or if there is any topic on which we may want to discuss some weekly prompts?
For your review of previous prompts, here are the post links:
- Weekly Prompt #8: How do you maintain hope and positivity when you're feeling depressed?
- Weekly Prompt #7: How have you been feeling lately?
- Weekly Prompt #6: What small moments brought a glimmer of light today?
- Weekly Prompt #5: What negative thoughts keep running through your head?
- Weekly Prompt #4: A Jar Full of Life
@ASilentObserver
Hi silent . depression is a challenging condition for a person mentally, physically and emotionally. You just dont feel like doing anything. So i agree if you set really high expectations for your self in that state you may end up disappointing your self. So take one step at a time. Try to set achievable goals for yourself. Try to do 1 thing that makes you feel productive instead of doing 20. Try to keep your loved ones close . Read positive stuff and surround yourself with positive people. Most importantly trust yourself. ❤️
@uniqueGrace8272 It sounds like you have a good understanding of how to set achievable goals during challenging times. What aspects of surrounding yourself with positive people do you find most helpful?
Whenever someone mention about setting goals, I'm always thinking of the SMART goals:
Specific - narrow down to the exact goal you want to achieve, even if it's each stepping stone that will get you there
Measurable - how will you define if you're making progress or not?
Achievable/Attainable - the goal you've made has to be realistic and something that can be achieved with time and effort
Relevant - the goal, no matter how small or big, needs to be connected to an ultimate goal at the end. Climb the ladder, step-by-step, to get the to top (your final goal/destination)
Time-based - when you set yourself a time limit, it will help in how you prioritize your tasks and create motivation to work towards it.
Of course, it is more difficult to even think about setting goals during times we are depressed. Who would think about setting goals when we're feeling saddened/depressed about something? A lot of the times, we're so pinned down with feelings of depression, that we don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. So, the first goal that we need to make, is to find that light. Even if it's just a crack of light in the dark, we need to make it into a goal to reach that or create it. Even if it's just a temporary encounter of the light, it is still a goal to see it. Set that goal to a week or two later. Then, when that goal is achieved, give yourself a reward. Then, in the following weeks, aim for the crack of light to be wider, keep the door ajar for longer periods each time.
@ASilentObserver
I give your weekly prompts a 10+, Obs. They make me think about my depression, and reflect on how it has been a large part of my life. My childhood dream for when we're asked who we want to become when we grew up, one of the options I had before was a counsellor or psychologist. Then, when I was old enough to look into studying in those fields, I realized that I didn't have the brains for it (I'm not exactly the smart type when it comes to my studies). So, when I found 7 Cups, I realized that my childhood dream can be achieved through this platform in a different way. Although I'm not academically educated, I can still share my stories, experiences, and insights; and know that my words can be of help to others who can resonate with me.
@Jaeteuk Thank you for sharing your thoughts on setting goals during times of depression. It can be difficult to muster the motivation to set goals when one is feeling down. Focusing first on finding moments of light, even if small, and rewarding yourself along the way seems like a wise approach. How does focusing on small goals that feel attainable in the short term feel for you?
Setting small goals worked for me in the past. Now, I'm in the stage of setting slightly larger goals. My current goal is launching my own business this summer, and I'm at the second to last step before it happens. So, I'm excited. Afterwards, will be a continuous of little goals so that I can achieve more. The ultimate goal here is to earn enough income with my own business, that I can quit my current career, since I'm feeling less and less passionate/happy about going to work nowadays. So, I'm aiming to achieve this ultimate goal in less than 4 years. Hopefully by then, my business will be up and running and I could finally be financially stable once again. Currently in a bit of a struggle, especially when I'm not a full-time employee at my work. It really does take a toll on actually being able to save money. I hardly have enough to buy my own groceries weekly, and I haven't been contributing to the expenses of living at home with my parents for the past 1.5 years (which I have previously). So, hopefully with my business, I will be able to start contributing again and actually not be too worried about feeding myself good, healthy foods. These are all the little goals that will build up to achieve the ultimate goal.
@ASilentObserver
@ASilentObserver
Hi, ASO,
How can you set realistic goals and expectations for yourself when dealing with depression?
I'm not sure. I think they would have to be small goals. I have clinical depression. I can only say for myself that I have done small steps and allowed myself all the time I needed to rest.
How are things?
I am glad to finally say that I am back! I apologize for missing so much. This is the first time in about 8 years of getting on 7 Cups that I have missed more than 2 nights in a row, I think. But trying to simultaneously grade like a madwoman and be on "vacation" was a bit too much for anything else.
The grading will continue for at least another week and a half, but we are now back home so I can get more done. The graduation went fine and we had a good opportunity to use a little bit of time to explore a national park and get out on Lake Erie. Lots and lots of walking that I didn't think I could do, but I did. It was also nice to see family.
@purpleTree4652
@bestVase7265 I'm glad to hear you were able to get away and enjoy time with your family despite the challenges. It sounds like balancing grading and vacation was difficult at times. What aspects of being back home and reconnecting with family have been most meaningful for you so far?
It is very much like my brain is running on two tracks simultaneously this time of year, especially in having to try to celebrate my niece's graduation while grading.
Any teacher can tell you that class prep and teaching are much more enjoyable than grading when you just have to put your mind into it and get it done without swearing too often. Today was much more of a swearing day since I am back to just grading. But another week or so I should be done. @ASilentObserver
@bestVase7265
Hi, Vase,
I've missed you! Welcome back.
I used to go to Cedar Point which is right next to Lake Erie. Did you do the walking there? I'll bet that trying to grade while being on vacation took all your time. Do you have a big family?
Things are ok. It's not perfect here, but I still think it's better. I still think I made a good decision. My bedroom is mostly put together. My living room area looks like a tornado hit it. That will start tomorrow.
take care
We went to Put-In-Bay and Marblehead Lighthouse. You could see Cedar Point from the lighthouse but we didn't have time to visit. We were very much focused on my niece's graduation.
I do have a rather large family, especially through my husband. Overall, we get along well which is a blessing. I don't get along with my own family quite as well as I get along with his.
I am so glad that you are settling into your own place well. It does take lots of time, but it is nice when things begin to feel like they are falling into place a bit. @purpleTree4652
@purpleTree4652 I'm sorry to hear clinical depression makes setting goals challenging. Focusing on small attainable goals, as you mentioned, and allowing yourself the time you need sounds wise. What aspects of finding moments of light, even small ones, feel most helpful for you in managing your depression?
@ASilentObserver
What aspects of finding moments of light, even small ones, feel most helpful for you in managing your depression?
Well, I keep a to do list. I put even small goals there because it helps me to remember the goals. Also seeing that I have accomplished tasks helps me to feel calm and productive. Is that what you meant?
How can you set realistic goals and expectations for yourself when dealing with depression?
I make myself do whatever it is that needs to be done that day. My goal, then, is to do what needs to be done - go to my peer-to-peer group support, go to my mom's house, whatever.
@WharfRat I'm glad you have a routine that helps motivate you to complete tasks. Focusing on what needs to be done, one step at a time, sounds like an effective approach.
Also, please share your feedback on how are you finding these weekly prompts. On a scale of 1-10 where 1 as "meh" to 10 as "Loved it". Is there anything I can do to make this discussion prompts better or if there is any topic on which we may want to discuss some weekly prompts?
@ASilentObserver
I was wondering what questions would be fun to answer. I can't think of any right now, but I hope to think of some soon.
@ASilentObserver hello, depression is a very challenging condition where you are not even motivated to know what change you would like, setting goals for the change to make happen can be a really tough task in itself. But first one really has to decide upon what they want- that is changing their current situation. That is the first of realization. After that one need rate the goal on a scale of one to 10 where 1 is the most difficult and 10 is the easiest. The one needs to divide the bigger goal in sub goals that will be the broken down parts of the main goal. One 9ne knows what the subs goals are they again need to scale every sub goal on the scale of 1 to 10. Sub goals which are more easier (nearer to the rating of 1) need to be attained first. Also one can know how easier the bigger goal is once divided to sub goals, and reaching the goals becomes much more attainable and the path becomes clearer. Hope this helps to anyone in need
@cheerfulTouch6344 Hii Cheerful, I am Obs. Thank you for sharing your perspective and insights. Feeling motivated to make changes can be challenging when dealing with depression. Focusing on small, achievable goals and breaking larger goals into steps may help them feel more manageable. What aspects of your current situation would you most like to change, even if it feels difficult right now?
@ASilentObserverthabks for asking. I belive stepping out for work would be the goal, I get really demotivated for going out.