Weekly Prompt #14: How do you practice self-compassion on a daily basis?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: If you could express your loneliness and depression through art, what would it look like? Would it be a painting, a song, or something entirely different? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: How do you practice self-compassion on a daily basis? Discuss the importance of self-compassion in managing depression.
By treating ourselves with kindness, understanding our shared humanity, and challenging our self-critical tendencies, we can navigate the depths of depression with greater resilience and hope. Remember, you are worthy of love and compassion, both from others and from yourself. I wanted to start a discussion on how depression and loneliness affect us. I look forward to hearing and discussing with you all!
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Hello ASO,
Self-compassion on a daily basis, I think it's something that I tend to put off to the end. For the rest of this month, I'm working long hours (overtime), so I think self-compassion for me is to get enough sleep.
In general though, self-compassion is important with those with depression. For the longest time, with my depression, it only felt normal when things weren't going well for me. Almost like being depressed is the norm, and if something good happens I question if something is wrong. So, during those times, I did not feel I needed self-compassion. But, ever since my road of healing, starting from 2017, I'm starting to see self-compassion more as a necessity. Even if it's as simple as going to bed earlier, to buying little rewards for myself more often, I'm gradually learning how to be nicer to myself.
I think most people who are depressed often feel lonely too. It almost goes hand-in-hand, since when we are depressed, we tend to want to be left alone. So, when this type of being alone happens for a long period of time, the sense of loneliness will also be felt. Some people who have good support from family and friends may not have the same type of loneliness compared to those without any support.
I suffer from loneliness throughout the entirety of my depression. Had no support from family, not having any friends, and just dealing with everything that depression throws at me on my own. So now, when my depression is stable, I long for a friend, I long to be in a romantic relationship.. but at the same time, knowing that depression will be a part of the rest of my life, I'm also afraid that the potential friend or partner will leave me, as I have had one too many friendships in the past where they abandoned me after finding out about my depression. It's sad, and I don't want to go through that again. So as much as I want a good support, good friend, I'm also afraid of putting myself out there to meet new people. It's very contradictory.
@Jaeteuk It sounds like self-compassion has become an important part of your healing process. Learning to be kinder to yourself, even through small acts each day, is a sign of growth. What aspects of self-care help you feel most supported during challenging times?
Challenging times, I've been giving myself some quiet time. Not talking much to my family members and just listening to music and doing my own things. As much as it's not good to be isolating myself from people, because I have been with lots of people during work, I just want to be left alone when I'm at home.
Despite realizing I need more self-compassion, the loneliness is still a large part of my life. It's scary sometimes, whenever I think about the future, and how I might be the only one left after my parents go. Not know if my brother will ever marry a second time, I really don't want to be the only one left. No friends, no support, no partner. That's like a nightmare for me.
@ASilentObserver
@Jaeteuk I hear and can relate to how you've been going through a challenging time and feeling quite lonely. I can understand why having quiet time to yourself after being around others all day would be appealing, yet why continuing to feel lonely worries you. You're not alone in your concerns about the future. It's natural to feel scared about the unknown and want support from loved ones. We are all right here with you to listen to and to support.
In a way, I blame myself for becoming the person I am today. Aside from the depression and the traumatic events that shaped my life, being afraid to step out of my comfort zone seems really risky. The unknown is a scary place, when the path in front of me is blurry. There isn't a lighthouse nearby to shine on my path.
To be honest, whenever my birthday is near or passes, I get more and more fearful of what my future will look like. I'll be 37 in the new year, and for the last decade, that fear grows by the year. Rather than being happy and celebrating my birthday, I have been quite depressed for one month (2 weeks prior to my birthday and 2 weeks after my birthday).
My parents always said that I don't look attractive enough, but I have always believed that beauty should come from within, not by appearance. I actually tried talking about this in a post a couple of years ago in Cups, and have been told that my thoughts only happens in fantasy land. It was upsetting and I felt discouraged.
In this sense, I don't know what I feel comfortable doing for self-compassion.
@Jaeteuk It sounds like turning 37 is bringing up a lot of difficult emotions and fears about the future. The unknown can feel so scary when we're struggling with depression and past trauma. Reflecting on how your parents' words have impacted your self-image also seems painful. What matters most is being compassionate with yourself through this challenging time. How have you shown yourself kindness in the past during hard moments? You deserve to feel at peace within. Please know you deserve all support, care and compassion and the first step starts with us <3
Well, since I've joined 7 Cups, I've been spending that depressing month here. Repeating my fears and worries of my future, but I've been wanting less family celebrations for my birthday, as there's nothing to celebrate about. Each passing year, all fears, depression and worries only grows. But I'm the type who likes to keep traditions going. So, we'll still eat at a restaurant of my choice and we still will have a birthday cake.
I also don't look my age because I dress for comfort, not to be attractive or trendy. To my parents, they always say I look like a high school kid. My wardrobe needs a serious changeover for new clothes, the only problem is, I hate clothing shopping, and I feel it unnecessary because my clothes are still in shape. Except they are very outdated.
Most female love shopping for clothes, but for me, with past traumas, I can't stand being in places with lots of people (clothing stores are usually within a mall), it drains my energy quite quickly, and I don't like taking the time to try on every piece of clothing to see if it looks good on me. With shopping of any other type than clothing, I'm the in-and-out type. I know what I need to buy, I go into the store, often knowing where it's located, then buy it and leave. No window-shopping, no walking around and wasting my time. The longer I'm in a store, the quicker my energy drains.
Self-compassion is difficult during these tough times, I often even end up dreaming about having a bad future. I can't stop myself from the worries and fears. Especially when one part of it includes how my mum thinks of me too.
@Jaeteuk
Thank you for opening up on this. It can be difficult to deal with fears and worries, especially when traditions feel important to maintain. It feels like birthdays and clothing shopping bring up difficult memories and emotions for you. Focusing so much on fears and worries about the future can be draining. It's understandable that past traumas make those environments challenging. What helps you feel more present and at peace in the current moment, even just for a short time each day? You deserve to feel comfortable being yourself.
To be honest, I think I worry about it on a daily basis. It's usually when I'm showering I'll tend to imagine how my future would look like, or hope it would be like. But knowing that in reality, that it could never happen, that's when I worry about it consciously in the daytime.
Since last week, after hearing some news from a colleague, another worry surfaced. A big worry that's tied to other things regarding my future. It's a never-ending train of worries. I think the only time I'm at peace is when I'm sleeping. But my sleep hasn't been that great for the past 2 weeks, but at least, I'm not dreaming or having nightmares with stories of my future. My mind and thoughts are constantly playing a repeated record of the worries and fears of the unknown future. Whether that be the near future (next year) or 3-4 years down the road. My life's milestone successes keep on being delayed and that is stressing me out too. Some are of not my control, but others can be. But because of those past traumas, I'm afraid to take that initial step of change. Since changes and risks are even scarier.
@Jaeteuk It seems you've been carrying a heavy burden of worries for some time now, and it's affecting your sleep and peace of mind. Your future is understandably on your mind. Continuing to imagine the future can feel scary when there are uncertainties, but you've gotten through challenges before. You seem resilient in facing what's beyond your control, while also aware of where you have the power to make changes if you wish. You aren't alone in experiencing worries, we are all here with you, Jae. When have you found small moments of joy or relief from your worries?
Joy or relief hasn't been felt lately. I'm someone who doesn't cry easily from these worries, so sometimes I feel a good relief is if I'm able to release it in tears. I can get emotional and cry when I'm watching TV dramas, but the current ones I'm watching haven't had scenes that made me cry with them.
There are just so many things going on in my life at the moment, with those worries coming up one after the other. There is no moment of rest, let alone feel any joy or relief from them.
Hello, I'm Michaela.
I recently started drawing and I find it quite therapeutic. I don't know whether I can share my art here, the ones that represent my depression and loneliness in times of crisis can be triggering for some people. Please let me know.
I'm not a music maker but if I was maybe I would create music. It was always a way for channeling out emotions for me.
Self-care is a habit I'm trying to learn to do better, I was always too hard on myself and put myself on the last place before anybody else so it's much work.
@mish3l Drawing and music are creative ways to process and channel difficult emotions. It sounds like you've found drawing to be therapeutic as it allows you to express what's inside. You mentioned wanting to make music - perhaps giving that a try, even in a small way, may help in your self-care journey. I'm glad to hear you're learning to be kinder to yourself. you deserve all support