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I’m not sure how this works because I’m new to this but I thought I would share how I’m feeling because it’s becoming intoxicating.
Since I was a child my feelings have been ignored, I was told to grow up or stop complaining, there was occasions where I confined into self harm because I wanted to feel something, and when my mother found out she wished upon me that I would die the next time I did it.
now being 21 I still have these issues, being ignored as a child has caused me to conceal my emotions/feelings no matter the cost, I’ve lost many people do to this but I can’t seem to move past it.
and then I met someone he tried to work with me and we bumped heads a lot because I can never say what’s going on, but this little love interest didn’t last long he hurt me and I fell into a depressed like state, I stay in bed all the time, I don’t wanna eat because it makes me feel sick, and I wanna be with him so much but it’s just so hard to let him fully in.
my mind has been flooded with thoughts of dying, and I’m currently hanging on by a thread I don’t wanna feel anymore.
hopefully someone listens to me
@peachMelon2889 that's a very horrible thing to hear by your own mother 😔 .... I wish you dont have to do sh again ....and I wish in the very unfortunate situation if that's your last resort to cope with how you're feeling, you be treated with patience and understanding and lots of care 🥺 because you deserve it more than anything else
I know how terrible it feels at the absolute rock bottom where we can do without feelings definitely... and how there's just thoughts of hopelessness creeping in .... you did what?? you made this account and are trying to connect with someone hoping someone Listens..... you are looking for hope 💕 and this is the hope you're carrying within even it feels bleak during this time
just keep trying and doing your best to hang in there , it doesn't feel much but you're doing great
I never had space to share feelings or thoughts either ... so mostly its just bottled or buried deep inside... other times I try to journal whatever little comes out .. not much but worth trying :) hope you can try also .. maybe a physical journal or if you are ok a diary in forums here :) you can invite people to comment also 🤗
