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Have you ever felt like sh*t in your own household (Sorry for the cussing). I am writing this right now after a fight with my dad and though the fight may seem like a benefit for my own cause, in the end my mind can't take it that way. I am currently in high school and if you are at the same stage as me or passed it, you know how stressful and important these years are. i think high school will probably be the death of me at this point. The stress of taking good classes, maintaining good grades, having a good GPA, all to get into a college and then get into society. Everyday feels like living *** with my dad always putting pressure on me and I have not had a good days sleep in the past few months. I live in constant fear and stress. My grades sucked for marking period 1 which put me in even more distress. When someone else talks about their grades or their goals to my dad I just feel like being swallowed up by a hole because in the end I know he is going to come up to me and say these things as if I am bad and i am a disappointment. I don't think I have ever felt proud about myself let alone ever felt like I accomplished anything. Even as I am writing this I am trying not to shed tears but I probably will when I go to sleep. I always feared my dad and now I am scared of him even more, which is not a good way to have a relationship with any parent, but I don't think I can even have a proper relationship with him. He wants me to talk about what is going on and if i need help with anything but I can't even open my mouth because I am scared of what he is going to tell me in return. Today he told me how he was scared to look at my grades and how I should always aim for a 100, as if I am some sort of AI machine. He even asked me if I knew how GPA worked as if I was some sort of stupid idiot who doesn't know anything. Everyone dreams of A's as their grade but I am not smart enough to even get that for him. It makes me feel like a useless daughter and a useless person who is not even meant to be here.
I am sorry that you guys have to read this but I just needed some space to vent. I don't have anyone to talk to so I always bottle up my feelings. I hope this message could allow others to open up their stories as well.
While learning & achievement are important indeed, & one should always take one's studies seriously, they aren't everything in life. Type-A people don't always understand that...your father may be one of those people.
Gotta say, the man doesn't sound like a very good parent. Discipline is only one part of parenting, not all of it.
Normally I'd say if you're having that much trouble with schoolwork you should tell your dad that you need help with it, not more browbeating...but it doesn't sound like the b*sterd would listen to anything you say in any case. Find help elsewhere. Can your teachers help you at all?...there have to be websites for struggling students by now. Maybe you have a friend in school that could help you out?
