Stuck on the hamster wheel
Every day, every week, I keep telling myself "You just need to hold on til you can be away from this long enough to get proper rest and figure out what to do." The thing is, when is that? I feel like I need an extended vacation in order to even BEGIN to get back up and get out of this hole. Can't really do that, I only have like one PTO day left at work right now. Weekends aren't long enough. *** the one week I was sick back to back with the week of a planned vacation wasn't enough. I've only been worse since then. There's a particular person at work who, whenever he's there it heightens my feelings of worthlessness and makes me want to do the thing you're not allowed to say here. It's not really his fault I don't think. It's just an unfortunate situation. But I have to escape somehow. I can't keep getting in my car at the end of the day and sob at the charred remains that my life has become. But I can't quit yet, it would REALLY ruin my life FOR SURE if I quit right now. I'm stuck "holding on" every week for at least another 6 months. I don't think I can do this for that long though...