Spiraling down again

@Tangodream

hello friend 💙 i am so proud of you for sharing this with us. :') 

i was honestly so sad to read this. 😞 i understand how tough and horrible depression can be. spiralling down is the worst and i understand how alone you must be feeling. 💙 we are here for you, friend. even though this is all through a screen :') we are here for you, we want to be here for you - to listen and be there. 💜 

i hear you about wanting to sleep and do nothing. and i get that completely. things have been so tough in your world lately and it’s completely understandable that you feel this way, friend. 😞 your absolutely not alone in that. 💕

i am glad to hear your trying to make a therapy appointment 💙 i really hope you’ll be able to see a professional. how do you feel about therapy? 💜

I've been in therapy before and am taking an antidepressant right now, but money is tight and it is hard to afford things. I owe a lot of money to my healthcare providers and they all want monthly payments I can't always afford. For example, Mayo Clinic won't accept payment plans under $50 per month. You can pay them less than that monthly, but they will send your account to collections. I don't qualify for financial assistance, either.

My husband gets mad at me if I reach out to food shelves for us or our pets so we can stretch our money out because it says it makes him feel like a failure. Yet he tells me to reach out for help. I don't understand what I'm supposed to do with this.

@Tangodream

awwe no ): i’m sending more big big hugs your way, if okay. 😞 i’m so proud of you for being able to share this with me. 💙 talking about things can certainly help :') it’s like the quote - a problem shared is a problem halved. 💜 we are here for you, friend. 💕 

i understand how your husband feels like a failure if you reach out to food shelves. ): but honestly, there is no shame in reaching out for help. it’s okay to ask for help. 💙 it’s okay to reach out. it can be hard :') but we can all try. 💜 do you think talking about this to your husband might help? 💕

i’m sending lots of love and best of wishes your way. 💜 keeping you in my thoughts, friend. 

Thanks for the welcome. I've been dealing with this for years, I'm 58, and it seems more difficult now than when I was younger.

@Tangodream

of course. 💙 i am sorry for my late reply :') 

oh noes 😞 i hear you about how it seems more difficult than when you were younger. i understand. 💜 i’m so sorry things have been so tough for so long. me sending big hugs your way, if okie 💙 i really hope things get better for you. 💜

i hope you know that we are always here for you, too - if you need. 💙 you don’t have to go through anything alone. 💜 

I wish I could say I'm feeling better, but I'm not. I was sick with Covid in mid December and, send them, fight a sinus infection. I woke up this morning with my face full of pressure and my sinuses are full of gunk. I've already been to urgent care once and did Prednisone for 5 days, yesterday was the last day taking it. All I want to do is sleep, I honestly can't tell right now how much of my feeling down is from being physically sick and how much is from my depression acting up.

I completely understand I feel like I've really hit the bottom and well we both know what comes next. I have a daughter and she lives with me. I love her more than anything. She struggles with emotions alot. I won't let her know anything is wrong with me. Other than her I'm all alone. I don't have any close friends to talk with. I don't have any other family. I'm a truck driver so it's been hard.

A year ago while driving home from work I came upon an accident on the hwy. Like all of us I slowed down and was wanting to see that I didn't recognize the cars. I did. It was my mom we have lions together since her husband passed. She had been killed in the accident.

From that night I called a ex girlfriend and we got back together. Now almost a year later in a relationship that wasn't healthy the first time, yeah it's not a really good thing for someone with depression.

I just want to say that every day I try to do something, I don't always but I try, lol. Some days it's just not going out and pulling the truck in the garage cuz I did clear it out already I don't know why I'm telling you this wish I had words of wisdom to impart. But I can just tell you you're not alone! I can tell you hi everyone I'm looking for us People Like Us don't know how to find them out here in the real world and I'm grateful for this world though cuz I know I'm not alone either

I'm glad you have a daughter you love. I didn't have children of my own, I never thought I'd be a good mother and my first husband was an alcoholic. Having children with him wouldn't have been wise since alcolism runs in my family as well. I had fertility issues too. I have two stepdaughters, but we're not close since they became adults.

I'm so sorry you lost your Mom. I lost mine in 2005 to lung cancer, I was 39 years old. I wish I could hug you and let you know I understand how that feels.

My current husband also struggles with depression as well as other issues. I love him, he loves me, but we really can have some days where all we do is argue. It is hard to support one another when we're both in a downward spiral.

Thanks for sharing, keep talking to me. We all need more connections in this crazy world.