So tired, feel like crying and scared,

Warning post contains graphic words, violence and more.  

My brother and I were homeschooled.  My brother since kindergarden, I after finishing 3rd grade.  Unfortunately my moms homeschooling idea was to just leave us to figure out everything ourselves.  My brother has a lot of anger from this.  Me?  I think I do but mostly I just feel exhasted when thinking about it.

He recently found out a surgery he needs isn't covered by insurance.  So his depression has worsten.  He said he wants to kill the people who made homeschooling legal.  Why?  Because it screwed us.  He did get his GED but the only jobs he can find are manual labor since everything else needs a collage degree.  Which he feels it is to late to go for now.  (passed his twenties but not in fourties)  The way he kept saying he wants to kill them to make consequences to show how bad homeschooling screwed his life up, scared me.  I really don't know what to do.  He has talked about suicide before and brought it up again saying his life is over anyway.

He can't run anymore and can't afford the surgery.  I can barely even help myself.  And don't know how to help him.  He is finally in therapy but the anger in his voice.  I love him so much and just don't want him doing anything stupid.  He lives with other family members right now and not in the same state as me.  The therapist suggested getting a lawyer for disability and to sue his work place since his injury appeared there.  But his work place said it happened during his personal time.  I hate not knowing how to help him.  My own therapist once told me I need to just let him go.  Great now I'm crying.  I feel so bad for him.  He was such a bright, energy given child.  He is still very smart but won't or can't figure out how to use it for his own good.

I'm not sure if I should contact who he stays with or not.  Its hard for me to tell if he is being serious or blowing off steam.  As that is how he always used to blow off steam.

Feel free to ask any questions and I'll try to answer them.  I won't give exact age/location for safety reasons.  I'm just so tired of failing to help him.