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SweetPea321 July 19th, 2023

I'm feeling really sad about Mama's passing today. Lots of crying and my heart racing. I wish I didn't have so much to do this week so I could just lay down and take a break. I feel bad that I couldn't afford a memorial service for my mom. Just the cremation, which was her wish. My Aunt who came with me to view Mama at the funeral home yesterday said she would talk to the rest of the family and see about coming up with the money to have one. Still...I would feel bad that I couldn't come up with the money.

@bestVase7265 how was your day?

P.S. My daughter made banana bread that she didn't like in her kids baking class today and she was complaining that the class is boring. It's so hard to please her. I tried to sign her up for something fun for the summer and I guess it isn't good enough. She said no to soccer and other suggestions.

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bestVase7265 July 19th, 2023

I have found this other thread as well. You can continue here if you want. @SweetPea321

5 replies
SweetPea321 OP July 19th, 2023

I found it, but only by typing the title of the thread. Why does it not naturally show up in the feed? Anyway...

Thank you for caring, Vase, but you and your feelings matter too. I like to hear about your days and have the opportunity to be there for you as well 🤗

I have so much on my plate now. I have a bunch of paperwork for my housing recertification. Tomorrow I have to meet the social security lady to go through what I've spent of Mama's money (that she gave me permission to use, but it doesn't matter to them because it just looks like I took advantage of a vulnerable adult.) That is so nerve wracking. Am I going to have to go to jail? Will I lose my job if I do? My home? And then my daughter? This could be a terrible rabbit hole of disaster if they press charges against me.

Today I ordered some 1 hour photo prints of my Mom. I got an 8 x 10 for the ornate white frame that matches my Dad's and some smaller photos of her. I'm looking forward to getting her urn and getting her home here with me.

I haven't showered all week. I've been wearing the same black dress since her passing on Sunday and I just don't feel like doing anything. Not my daily exercises. Drinking Sprite again. I'm just a mess.

How are you?

4 replies
bestVase7265 July 20th, 2023

I can imagine how hard it all is right now. Do try at least to get the shower tomorrow. Keep the goal simple. It will make you feel better.

The pictures sound lovely.

I have been better. My own father is currently in ICU. They say that isn't that serious and that he is only there because the hospital is small and he needs some extra close attention at the moment. But we will see. He is really clearly failing again because he will not eat. We will see what the next few days bring. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP July 20th, 2023

I took a shower last night. I felt too grubby. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. ICU is always serious, isn't it? Thank goodness he's getting that extra attention now. He needs it. Maybe they can get him to eat more. What did you say his age was?

I'm feeling overwhelmed today. I just spent forever filling a new photo album for the memorial. By the way, my cousin who lives in town, is hosting the memorial/family get together at his house this Tuesday. Then my other cousin had me sent her a Playlist of Mama's favorite songs so we can have them playing in the background to honor her. My daughter is saying BORRRRRIIINNG right now. She wants me to take her to eat out. I haven't even considered what to make for dinner. I need a break! I wish I had respite. Tomorrow I gotta clean my home, wash clothes. Wash my hair and pick my mom's ashes. Too much to do. Then my other daughter is coming this Saturday. I gotcthe trip to my stepmom's next weekend. Busy busy busy.


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bestVase7265 July 21st, 2023

So glad that you got the shower. It really does help reset things. Think about the day just one task at a time. I know that respite care would really help, but your daughter may handle things better than you think. It is so nice of your cousins to help put something together. You are seeing your family in various ways over the next week. That sounds just great. Sending you strength and peace for tomorrow.

My dad is a bit better today. I discovered that ICU doesn't necessarily mean the worst. The hospital is small so they either have basic care or advanced care in the ICU. He needed to be monitored regularly for his kidney function so that is why he needed more advanced care. He should be back at the assisted living facility by tomorrow if all goes well. But it has been stressful. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP July 22nd, 2023

Sorry I missed you tonight, Vase. It was a long day. My cousin and aunt rode along with me to pick up my mom's ashes. It was a two hour drive and then they visited at my place afterward.

Tomorrow my eldest will be arriving so I might not get on either. I will be on again soon. In the meantime, take care 🙂

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bestVase7265 July 23rd, 2023

Don't worry about replying or not. Your next week sounds very busy. But I am glad that you are seeing family and people are spending time with you. Sending strength, grace, and precious memories.

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SweetPea321 OP July 25th, 2023

Thanks Vase 🤗 and how have you been? I am exhausted. My eldest daughter left today. We had fun. I took them to the ymca pool twice and then we went for dinner and a movie. We saw that Barbie movie. It was ok. The girls liked it alot. Tomorrow is the Celebration of Life memorial for my Mom at my cousin's house. Then on the weekend we'll be visiting my Dad's wife for her birthday.

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bestVase7265 July 25th, 2023

I am sure that you are very tired, but you are doing good things. It is great that you got to spend quality time with your girls and I am sure that the memorial service tomorrow will be lovely. It is great that you will get to celebrate the life of your mother and then on the weekend celebrate your mother-in-law.

Two of my sons have seen the Barbie movie (along with Oppenheimer). I don't think that I can do quite that long of a marathon, but we might see Oppenheimer on Friday. I too am quite tired. I spent another 6 hours driving back and forth to my parents today. But it was a pretty successful visit. My dad is doing a bit better after his time in ICU. I won't be able to visit them for a while now because August is very intense with the beginning of school. But I am feeling calmer that they are on an okay path. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP July 25th, 2023

Vase, I can't snap out of this exhaustion. The memorial starts at 6pm and I won't have much energy for my family. Maybe it's the heat? The sadness? I'm physically and mentally tired.

Hope you are doing well.

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bestVase7265 July 26th, 2023

I would not expect you to be anything but exhausted at this point. You have been through an emotional ordeal. Enjoy the time with your family as best you can. There is no set way that the memorial for your mom is supposed to go. If you are tired during it that is okay. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP July 26th, 2023

The Celebration of Life memorial service that my cousins put together was just like a regular funeral. It was perfect! The handouts were professional and my cousin spoke just like a pastor. Psalm 23 was read and that was my Mom's favorite, along with Footprints in the Sand. They even recorded the service and put it on YouTube for the rest of the family that couldn't come to see it. Then my cousin cooked on the grill and other relatives brought sides. My younger cousin played songs from a song list I gave her of songs that Mama liked while we ate and reminisced. We stayed until 11pm. It was so nice to see everybody. I saw cousins that I haven't seen for years.

Today I spent the day resting mostly except for a couple errands. Still tired. It's 97 here today. I suppose the heat is adding to my exhaustion. How are you?

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bestVase7265 July 27th, 2023

That is so awesome that you got to celebrate your mom in that way. It sounds as though it was a really nice time with everyone and it is great that people worked so hard to put it together.

You deserve a day of rest today, heat or no heat. We were at a pretty similar temperature, but that has been where we have been at for at least a month. We did get a nicer rain tonight which we needed.

My life has been on a roller coaster with my own parents. I keep thinking that things are better but they don't stay like that for longer than 24 hours. Right now my father is dealing with a bedsore that he got in the hospital that may cause a stay in a nursing home if they can't get it to heal in the next few weeks. He had been doing really well with eating and energy levels. Oh well, we will just have to climb the next mountain.

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SweetPea321 OP July 28th, 2023

I think switching to the Abilify is adding to my sickly/exhausted kind of feeling lately. I didn't take the Abilify right away when I got it. I decided to start taking it a few days ago and I was reading that it can make you feel sick at first. I'm looking forward to seeing my stepmom, along with some other family members this weekend, but not to the driving. I hate driving through the cities. Plus we'll be driving down to Rochester too for her surprise birthday party. I hope I'll be comfortable. I'm 6 foot tall without shoes by the way and couldn't fit in the front seat even with it way back.

Aww, your poor Dad has a bedsore. Mama was on this special type of air mattress that prevented bed sores, but that was in the nursing home of course. That end of life stage is a rollercoaster indeed. The constant worrying and trying to help your parents get better is hard. I understand how you may feel. Glad to hear that he's been doing better with eating and stuff. How's your mom doing?

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bestVase7265 July 28th, 2023

Any drug takes a while to adapt to. Give yourself some time with it. Sorry about the driving. I can imagine it is uncomfortable, but it will be good for you to see everyone. You are about to start coming out on the other side of this rougher patch.

I think it would be easier if I could tell what stage my dad was at. It is hard to say that he is definitely failing hard or just going through a rougher spot. He gets up every day, does physical therapy and plays bingo. Hopefully the wound will heal. But my mom is running herself a bit ragged caring for him. We are taking it a day at a time.@SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP July 29th, 2023

That's nice that he's doing PT and playing bingo. Hopefully he keeps that up and the bed sore heals. Sorry about your Mom. It must be hard to be elder and taking care of another.

One of my aunts sent me a white cross for the wall with a poem on it called The Broken Chain. It's really beautiful. It's about how our family chain is broken when a loved one passes away, but as God calls us home one by one, the chain is linked again. I put it above my Mom's urn.

So I decided not to make the trip to see my stepmom tomorrow. My shoulder is hurting and there's going to be extra driving because a family member is getting baptized. My range of motion hasn't been good for awhile, but at my cousin's I tripped over the dog, trying to get into my car. It was dark out and the dog was laying in front of the car door. I didn't fall to the ground, but I hurt my shoulder in the process of losing my balance. I have an appointment with my doctor on the 15th. I avoid going to urgent care because of the restricted recipient program (insurance punishment) that ill be on until May 2024. Unfamiliar doctors can't prescribe me medicine.

So I'll be taking it easy this weekend. I need to rest anyway.

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bestVase7265 July 29th, 2023

Resting sounds like a good plan. You have been through a great deal. Are you icing or putting heat on the shoulder a bit? That might help. Some breathing time will allow you to get on a more regular schedule. You can just tell them that you were too tired and injured to come.

My day was fine. No new drama with my parents so that was good. My husband officially retired yesterday so we spent the day doing a walk, going out for lunch, and going to the Oppenheimer movie. I didn't get too much else done, but I should be able to get back on schedule tomorrow. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP July 30th, 2023

Hi Vase. I woke up early today, 5 something, and I couldn't go back to sleep. I'm actually glad that I got up early because we had been sleeping in and August is around the corner. I planned on getting back on track August 1st with no pop drinking and exercising everyday. Also wanted to start getting up early to prepare for school in September. I don't want to struggle like I did all last year.

Well I didn't do much today. Just rested. I haven't iced or heated my shoulder. Too lazy to bother with that I guess. I can't wait to adjust to this medication and get some energy back.

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bestVase7265 July 30th, 2023

August 1 sounds like a good restart date. I will be there to cheer you on. Until then, some resting is good. You will be able to adjust the wakeup times I am sure.

I am just starting to move back to 6:30 myself. My school starts in a little more than a week and we are on vacation for a long weekend next week. Eventually I need to get it to 6 am for the high school start time (a week from Thursday). It will be fine I am sure. My parents were okay again today so I am relieved.

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SweetPea321 OP July 31st, 2023

Glad your parents had an alright day. May they have plenty more.

I had trouble sleeping last night and didn't get to sleep until 5am. Then woke up at noon. My daughter slept in too. I think I'm nervous about that social security spending of my mom's money. The lady got in touch with me and we went over the bank statements together In her office. Now she is submitting them to law enforcement. What will be my fate? Will they press charges or not? I don't know.

I rested again today. Just don't feel good and in the shower it was hard to wash my hair with the sore shoulder. I can't wait to see my doctor so I can find out what's causing the pain.

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bestVase7265 July 31st, 2023

I am sorry for the pain and worry. Those are both pretty tough. Even if you can't get your hair, keep trying to shower. The water will feel good on your shoulder I bet. Resting a little more is okay, Just work yourself up to moving a little more tomorrow. Each step that you make is progress. Sending a less painful day tomorrow and good sleep tonight.

I am doing okay. We celebrated my oldest son's birthday today. He will celebrate the actual day with his friends tomorrow. But I got to make a peach pie today and it turned out okay. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP July 31st, 2023

Happy Birthday to your son! I wonder what it's like to have a son. I used to dream about having a son when I was younger. He had dark hair and eyes like me.

Anyway...I am, once again, exhausted. But I took kiddo to the pool today. How long is it going to take to adjust to this medication or is something else going on? I feel sickly and exhausted everyday and it sucks. Last night I took 2 melatonin and fell asleep around 2 something. Tomorrow I'll set the alarm for 9am and do that for the first week. Then go to 8 the next.

How are you, @bestVase7265 ?

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bestVase7265 August 1st, 2023

Well I got three boys and no girls so your world is also a mystery to me.

Unluckily, it can take a long time to adapt to new medication, sometimes a month or more. But that doesn't mean that it won't work eventually. They started giving Dad an appetite enhancing medication in mid June. It started working about a week and a half to two weeks ago but now he is eating full meals. Some of my psych meds also took a month.

But you have also been dealing with tons of other stuff. You have been doing it all bravely and working so hard. I am actually proud of you. I know that it is all really hard and you want to give up but you haven't. You even got your daughter swimming today. That is awesome.

If you continue to not sleep though, do call the doctor and report that as a symptom. You cannot go too many days without sleep. Are you going to go back to the diet tomorrow? That actually may help with your energy levels. Remember that water and nature are also your friends.

I am actually doing okay at the moment. We leave on our short 4.5 day vacation tomorrow. I am nervous that it will go well and that we will enjoy it. I still plan on doing 7 cups stuff though. I may miss a day somewhere in there, but it is always helpful for me to get on and at least get to your message. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP August 1st, 2023

I'm getting sleep, but thanks for your concern. Just struggling to go to sleep early enough. Next week we have swim lessons at 9am so we'll have to get up at 8. That should help to get in the swing of things.

Today I took my daughter to the urgent care because her tongue has been hurting since Sweet Treats Class, 2 weeks ago. It turns out that it was just an inflamed taste bud. Thanks for scaring me, Internet, when I did a search on what could cause tongue pain. After I picked up some Children's Tylenol for her, I stopped by the Christian store and bought a Bible. It's a leatherbound King James Version. I've never read the Bible in its entirety, but aim to do so. I'm a slow reader so it'll probably take me forever.

I understand if you can't get on every night. Safe travels and have a wonderful trip 🤗

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SweetPea321 OP August 1st, 2023

P.S. I'm still not feeling good, but resuming the diet so there will be some veggies tonight.

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bestVase7265 August 2nd, 2023

You are moving in a good direction with getting up earlier and eating more veggies. The earlier swim class will help. I know that you are still feeling bad so I am hoping that tomorrow will be better. Glad to hear that it is just an inflamed tastebud. The Bible sounds great. King James is a little harder to read, but if you just do a little each day that would be nice. I would start with the New Testament because it is much more readable.

We arrived here safely and had a busy day. We had one of the best pizzas that I have ever had, but then my chair broke randomly and I ended up on the floor. A bit embarrassing, but we got free pizza.

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SweetPea321 OP August 3rd, 2023

Ah, don't be embarrassed about the chair. Things break 💁‍♀️ Free pizza sounds awesome! I'm playing Mario Maker with my daughter right now. Nothing too exciting to report today. Today was fine. I didn't get up early as I intended though. I'll have to try again tomorrow.

Enjoy your vacation 😎😌

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bestVase7265 August 3rd, 2023

It sounds like today was better. Anything that isn't bad at this point is good. You can always get up earlier tomorrow. How is the food angle going?

We had a good day today, but lots and lots of walking in the heat. We did spend a while in a museum though and saw some really great dinosaur skeletons.@SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP August 4th, 2023

I've always wanted to go to a museum with dinosaur bones. How fun! As far as food goes, I'm eating within the recommended calories, not exactly the best choices. Too many cheeseburgers I suppose. Tomorrow we're gonna have chicken breast and vegetables. Last night my daughter helped me make lemon bars, but today when she tried them she didn't like them. Today was difficult. She had a full blown meltdown at my physical therapy appointment. It was so frustrating. They had me do my exercises in the room instead of the gym because of it. Then my daughter has the nerve to ask me for some Goose game. I told her we'll be going to church Sunday evening and if she can behave there I'll get it for her. I'm nervous about it, but I haven't been to church in years. I'd like to go.

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bestVase7265 August 5th, 2023

Sorry for the meltdown. I can imagine how frustrating that was. You have a good plan for dealing with your daughter on Sunday. That should be a solid experiment. Choose a church that is pretty welcoming if you can. If you don't feel that good sense on your first visit, try another. I like United Church of Christ ones, but there are lots of good ones.

You are moving in a good direction with the diet. Once I get back home (we leave tomorrow), I will get back into the swing of things with cooking and can pass on some recipes. We spent today at a zoo which was a nice way to wrap things up.@SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP August 5th, 2023

The zoo must've been fun. I haven't been to one in ages. Yesterday I had my mental status exam for disability. I answered the questions honestly and although I'm doing alright with showers right now, I might not later on. I'm afraid of what they'll say. If not for the mental part, I feel that I deserve disability for the physical.

My doctor appointment for my shoulder and arm pain is on the 15th. I'm worried that my doctor will order an mri.

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SweetPea321 OP August 7th, 2023

My daughter was pretty good in church today, so she got her little 10 dollar Goose game. Then she had a meltdown at home after playing it because it was frustrating and I didn't wanna play it after awhile.

bestVase7265 August 7th, 2023

It sounds like overall things went okay. Your daughter was able to stay calm when it was necessary. That she melted later is somewhat understandable because her brain may have been holding in all that emotion. But sorry that it happened because it is never fun.

Did you enjoy the church service yourself? Were people kind?

The mental health assessment was honest which is best. You really can't ever tell when things will go off again. I wish you luck with the doctor's appointment.

We got home safely with only an hour and a half delay on our return flight. Today has been spent resting and trying to get all my work stuff back on track. I also have a large blister on my toe from walking so much so I am hoping that will heal quickly. The semester begins for me on Tuesday.

How is the diet going? I made a nice chicken and coconut rice dish tonight that was pretty easy. Let me know if you want the recipe.

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SweetPea321 OP August 7th, 2023

I don't think I'd like the coconut part of that meal, Vase, but thanks anyway. Glad you made it back home safely. We had a swim lesson this morning so got up early again. I hope I can eventually start going to bed early. The diet is ok. We're still eating out because I just can't seem to get it together. It's so darn hard trying to think up meals three times a day every day. I made unbaked bars today. Some may call them no bake cookies, but I make them into bars. My Mom used to make them for me as a child and I loved them. Of course my daughter didn't like them. She didn't like the peanut butter taste in them I guess. She doesn't like anything 😕

I'm getting really frustrated with my advisor. School starts on the 21st and I haven't even filled out my fafsa because she hasn't gotten back to me about my max time financial aid hold. Maybe I won't be able to go to school this semester.

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SweetPea321 OP August 7th, 2023

As for church, the lady in the pew in front of us talked to us after mass. She was nice, but the lady who sat by us kept giving me the strangest, almost grumpy look. She also had the nicest singing voice. Ha! I enjoyed myself.

bestVase7265 August 8th, 2023

It is hard to make three meals a day every day. Eating out is okay once or twice a week as long as you chose healthier options from the menu. They are always there.

It is perfectly fine for you to not want to try any of my recipes. What I am going to do is let you know what I eat each night and if you want the recipe good and if not then it is absolutely no problem. It will give you a better idea of how often I am cooking to make the whole process feel less overwhelming. I actually only plan to cook three nights a week. Otherwise we eat leftovers or eat out.

Tonight I made some chili that had corn, tomatoes, black beans and lentils in it. It was pretty easy and tasty. Again, I have a recipe if you want it. Normally I don't cook two nights in a row, but I start my 9-5 training tomorrow and I will be tired to cook while all of that goes on for the rest of the week. I am hoping to cook on Saturday again.

I am glad that you are continuing to get out for the swim lessons. You will get on a good schedule, I am sure. My son starts his school year this Thursday. So we are jumping into all of it now. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP August 9th, 2023

What is your 9 to 5 training for? I don't remember you mentioning it previously, but I could be wrong. I don't always have the greatest memory.

Well I went and ordered my books today with my credit card. Hopefully everything works out with financial aid. I called the school again today and they said they just scanned my paperwork in. Finally! Only took them like 3 weeks.

My daughter swam in the deep end of the pool with her instructor today. I was proud of her.

I feel like I'm slipping again with my hygiene and laundry. I should've told the doctor who gave me my mental status exam that I take less showers than I said. I said 2 to 3 but it's really more like 1 to 2 now. My shoulder pain has now spread to my arm. It hurts so bad. I look forward to finding out what's causing the pain.

If I have chili these days it's from a can. My daughter doesn't like chili. I made homemade for her before thinking she'd like it and nope.

So how's bestVase7265 today? Is life good?

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bestVase7265 August 9th, 2023

I did not mention the training previously. For the last 7 years or so I have specialized in working mainly with first-year college students. The new group arrives on campus on Friday and we start classes Saturday. They are the only students on campus until the beginning of September so they get an intense look at what college is like. It is a bit of a whirlwind teaching because they are new, have never been away from home, and their emotions are all over the place. I am part mom, part camp counselor, part mentor, all while teaching them a class. I then have the same group of students in a regular class the entire fall semester to keep an eye on them and help them handle the challenges of a full schedule.

So we have a three day workshop for instructors in May and another 3 days in August that started today. Today was focused on diversity work, how to report sexual assaults, and handling students with learning accommodations. It was a long day.

I am glad that you were able to start to get your own classes lined up. All of the paperwork is never fun. So glad to hear about swimming in the deep end. That really is quite an accomplishment for your daughter. It is so nice that she has been able to learn something new this summer and enjoy it.

Chili can definitely be hit or miss with some people. The recipe that I made yesterday was better than some of the other homemade ones that I have done because it had corn in it which made it sweeter. But we just had leftover chili tonight.

Keep trying on the shower. Even if you can't always get your hair, moving in the warm water will loosen the tighter muscles a bit. But every time that you do it is a victory, even if it isn't as often.

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SweetPea321 OP August 10th, 2023

I bet you're a great teacher and mentor. I couldn't do your job. I can barely even take a shower and now I stupidly told the disability doctor that I shower 2 to 3 times a week. I mean I was doing good there for awhile. The gel injection helped my knee. My shoulder and arm hurt so much I whine every time I put my hair claw in.

Today I tried to get in earlier to see my doctor and couldn't. She advised me to go to the urgent care if hurt so I did and they gave me an xray. The xray only showed mild arthritis in the shoulder and I am referred to orthopedics. They'll be calling me for an appointment.

I can't believe this is the last month of summer vacation. It's been nice, not getting up and getting Jasmine to school right away.

I'm gonna have one of my unbaked bars and then go take a shower finally.


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bestVase7265 August 10th, 2023

Hopefully you will find relief soon. It does take lots of patience that is really hard when you are in pain. I definitely couldn't do what I am doing if I was dealing with that pain. Keep doing those showers.

Another day of training today with foreign language placement, writing assessment, library skills training, student affairs events, and general mentoring being discussed. It will be nice that tomorrow is the final day of training, but I have tons of details to still organize. It was Lean Cuisine dinners tonight for us.

Tomorrow my youngest starts his senior year of high school. So it is back to 6 am wakeup for me. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP August 10th, 2023

Wow, that's early to be starting high school. It's only August 10th! This is my eldest's senior year of high school and she'll be taking a college class this semester, Econ and Communication. She's really excited. I got her a laptop some months ago so she can use that.

Today I got an email from the director saying that my appeal was approved but I'm still suspended. I'm still eligible for financial aid. Of course they decided to put me through verification yet again. Same form and everything. I completed it and handed it in personally to speed up the process. The director also said that I could only take classes that pertained to my degree (more like certificate). I only need the one class. It's 5 credits and to get financial aid I had to add a 1 credit class to make that 6 credits. It doesn't pertain to my certificate. It's just a Job Seeking Skills course. My advisor suggested that I take that. I sent the director an email asking if this was OK. I sure hope it is because without that extra credit I won't get financial aid. I also ordered books already. This is so nerve wracking. School starts on the 21st and my ducks still aren't completely lined up.

On the other side, my daughter got her little swimmer certificate today. I'm proud of her. She asked her instructor if she could come home with us because she just loves her 😄

I'm taking her to the fair tomorrow.

We have a couple Lean Cuisine type of dinners that we like too. I like the Smart Ones ham and cheese scramble and my daughter likes this Chicken and pasta one by Stouffer's.

Tomorrow we will continue getting up early even though swim lessons are done and there's nothing to do in the morning.


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bestVase7265 August 11th, 2023

Both of your daughters sound quite successful! You should be proud of them. Hopefully all of those financial aid issues get settled soon. They are always a challenge. It is good that you don't have to take too many classes.

I ended up not doing my workshop today because I came down with some kind of flu bug last night. It isn't COVID and I am just totally exhausted, but it is poor timing. Students arrive tomorrow and I need energy to greet them and their parents. I have a bit of brain fog so I am hoping that I don't say something stupid. I will make it through somehow I am sure. I will just try to conserve energy where I can.

We just did leftovers tonight and will do the same tomorrow I think. I will try to cook on Saturday (maybe with some help if I am still not feeling well). @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP August 11th, 2023

Aww, Vase 😔 I'm Sorry you're not feeling well. Thankfully it's the last day of the work week, so now you can rest up at home. I hate that feeling of exhaustion and you can't relax because you have things to do. I feel for you. You have a job that takes alot of mental power. Hopefully the illness passes soon.

I took my daughter to the fair today. It was hard to walk around so we had to stop and rest quite a bit. It was so hot I almost had a panic attack and I felt like I was going to throw up. A kind lady nearby gave us some water because I tried to get Jasmine to go to the stand to get some and she was too scared. She also had a meltdown at the bungee bouncy thing. We waited forever to do it, then she was too scared and freaked out. The heat was getting to her too. We don't tolerate the heat well. We quickly used up all of our 18 tickets and then went home. I can't believe the one guy charged 15 dollars for a pulled pork sandwich. We were gonna get one each, but decided to go to the church Cafe and get reasonable hotdogs.

How are you feeling today @bestVase7265

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bestVase7265 August 12th, 2023

It was definitely good that I took yesterday off. Today was hard but not unbearable. The cold is still going to have an impact but I don't think it will make getting out of bed hard.

Unluckily, I actually don't get tomorrow off. Saturday is the start of teaching with a two hour class! Yay! Luckily it is only this Saturday and then we start a normal 9-noon Monday-Friday class. But as I said, this mini semester is unbelievably intense. I have already sent out at least 10 emails on various issues just this evening.

It was brutally hot here too (a feels like temperature of 104). The poor parents and students were beyond hot and tired after having moved in all morning. I certainly did not have enough deodorant. Oh well. I learned for next year.

I am glad that you got to the fair even if it got too hot. Some things are a victory in the attempt.

We just did leftovers for dinner, but I will be cooking and planning a menu for next week tomorrow.

5 replies
SweetPea321 OP August 12th, 2023

Oh, you had to work on Saturday I see. Well maybe tomorrow you can rest. I rested all day. I just couldn't muster up the energy to do laundry earlier, although I'm thinking about it now. I think I'll do a load when I'm done typing this message. My daughter wanted to go to the fair again today, but I said no. It was hard enough walking around yesterday. Thinking about going to church again tomorrow.

Hope you're feeling better today 🙂

4 replies
bestVase7265 August 13th, 2023

Resting is a good thing for both of us. I did fine with my class this morning and am happy that I don't have to teach tomorrow. I do have to food shop and then handle lots of school stuff, but it will be nice to have a day away from campus.

It was also nice to get a chance to cook this evening. I did a thin beef steak stuffed with broccoli, cheese and ham along with more broccoli on the side. It wasn't particularly healthy except for the broccoli, but I can give you the recipe if you want. I will have some more healthy recipes next week.

It is great that you are going to try church again. It would be nice to find a place to settle. Do they have any Sunday School for your daughter during church? @SweetPea321

3 replies
SweetPea321 OP August 13th, 2023

So far we've gone to the Catholic church. I grew up Catholic. Today we went to the later mass. My daughter was unruly this time. We had to move from the front to the back because she was being loud and then she said, "THIS SUCKS" really loud. The lady next to us was really nice and helped calm Jasmine down. She ended up giving us her number at the end. Before we went into the church I told my daughter I'd take away video games if she was loud or naughty and I ended up doing so today for 3 hours. She was very bored.

I look forward to seeing the orthopedic doctor on Tuesday. It hurts to fix my hair and stuff. I'm thankful to have my daughter and my home. I wish to feel better so I can take better care of both.

2 replies
bestVase7265 August 14th, 2023

Sorry for the slight meltdown at church, but it looks like a place that will support you anyway, so that is really good. And your daughter learned a lesson though sometimes those are painful for both of you.

You are caring for your daughter and your home in spite of your pain. Yes, things could definitely be easier, but you are doing enough.

How is the diet going? Remember every little bit helps on that front. I got really adventuresome today and made meatballs out of eggplant (no meat) and served them with spaghetti and tomato sauce. They turned out better than I though they would and they were not that hard.

Otherwise, it was lots of school prep and a bit of food shopping.@SweetPea321

1 reply
SweetPea321 OP August 14th, 2023

The diet is non existent really. I still eat the same and today I had a sprite. I'm so upset today that I'm crying. I sent my advisor an email that simply said thanks for never getting back to me, which I'm sure she won't respond to because I obviously don't matter. One week before school I get a letter saying that I can't get financial aid for my major because it's only 10 credits. My advisor knew I was seeking financial aid and she told me that i had to have 6 credits to get the aid. I waited so long just to find out that I won't be able to go to school. I'm so disappointed. I don't feel like cooking or doing anything. I wish my daughter was old enough to take care of herself. I told my dying mother that I was going to take the pharmacy tech class and now I'm not.

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bestVase7265 August 15th, 2023

You have a right to be really disappointed. I would be too. I know how hard it is to care for your daughter and that takes energy away from moving forward with other stuff.

But that doesn't mean that you can't find another path. Tell me a bit more about the school and the financial aid program. What other kinds of things do they offer? Is this a school that you have been to before?

One step at a time we will figure it out. I promise.

1 reply
SweetPea321 OP August 16th, 2023

Today I got a cortisone shot in my shoulder. I hope this helps my arm too. We'll see I guess. I've been up since 4am, so has my daughter. We got up to pee at the same time and both couldn't go back to sleep. She took a nap. I tried to, but couldn't. Then I called the school and talked to somebody and sent an email to the financial aid director asking if somebody could please help me. My advisor, then got back to me and apologized profusely for the wait and for not being knowledgeable about the program not being covered by financial aid. She stayed after the office closed to have a meeting with me and I'm double majoring so I can get the financial aid. She's going to get ahold of me tomorrow to let me know if I have to add any classes this semester. I'm feeling better about that, but still worried as the deadline is approaching. What took her so long to process my paperwork for the appeal is because she took a 2 week vacation. I apologized for the impatient email and all was good. I have been sweating more than lately without exerting any extra energy. I suppose I'll take another quick shower before bed again tonight.

How was your day, Vase? Busy busy, are you?

1 reply
bestVase7265 August 16th, 2023

I am glad to hear of the good news on the financial aid front. Working at a college, I know how hard all of that stuff can be to manage.

Today has really been one of the overwhelming onslaught days of Autumn Term. I caught a student using ChatGPT, a software where the computer writes the complete essay rather than the student, and I had another student get in a car accident, and I had a class meltdown as computer servers on campus and off all failed as students attempted to take the foreign language placement exam. And that was just the school stuff.

I hope the shoulder shot does help the pain too, even minimally. @SweetPea321

1 reply
SweetPea321 OP August 16th, 2023

Thank you. I'm hoping the shot kicks in soon. And wow, that sounds like a stressful day of school stuff. I've heard of ChatGPT, but wasn't quite sure what it was. AI is becoming too intelligent for its own good.

I had another early morning today. Woke up at 5 and couldn't go back to sleep. My daughter woke up at 6. She was so excited last night and had trouble going to sleep because we were going to buy a Furby this morning when we woke up. So at 6:30 we went to Walmart and got one and I bought her a sketch pad and some mechanical pencils for church, and her first bras. She's really proud of them lol. She's starting to develop so it's time.

I'm also happy today because I got my financial aid award. Just in the nick of time as classes start this Monday. Phew! Now I just gotta worry about doing well with that. Maybe the Phentermine is causing me to sleep less and get up early. It is a stimulant after all. I was going to talk to my doctor about it, but maybe it'll be good for me to get up early now. Tonight we will try to go to bed at 9.

1 reply
bestVase7265 August 17th, 2023

I am glad that your daughter was happy with the Furby and the bras. Some pencils and a sketch book sound great for church. Maybe she would also like some word searches or one of those books with the hidden pictures in them that you circle.

It is wonderful that the financial aid worked just in time. You will do well in your classes bit by bit. Medications do impact sleep, that is for sure.

Today was just a little less intense, so I will take it. I am starting my meetings with each individual student to help them chose classes so that is high pressure because I need to get them into the right ones, kind of like your advisor. Course registration starts a week from today. @SweetPea321

1 reply
SweetPea321 OP August 17th, 2023

My advisor apologized for the delay in helping me and for giving me the wrong info, but she also said she was new. And she helped me in the end.

Today I had physical therapy and tomorrow I have to drive and hour an a half to Sioux Falls to go to my Comprehensive Weight Management appointment. I hate driving in cities. All the traffic and not knowing my way around makes me nervous. I told my daughter we will go to the Butterfly House and Aquarium afterwards. Hope it won't be too hard to find. Thank goodness for GPS.

How's life today, Vase?

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