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SweetPea321 July 19th, 2023

I'm feeling really sad about Mama's passing today. Lots of crying and my heart racing. I wish I didn't have so much to do this week so I could just lay down and take a break. I feel bad that I couldn't afford a memorial service for my mom. Just the cremation, which was her wish. My Aunt who came with me to view Mama at the funeral home yesterday said she would talk to the rest of the family and see about coming up with the money to have one. Still...I would feel bad that I couldn't come up with the money.

@bestVase7265 how was your day?

P.S. My daughter made banana bread that she didn't like in her kids baking class today and she was complaining that the class is boring. It's so hard to please her. I tried to sign her up for something fun for the summer and I guess it isn't good enough. She said no to soccer and other suggestions.

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bestVase7265 October 11th, 2023

Glad to hear that things are going well. I would just go with far fewer therapy appointments rather than cutting them out. Go with every 6 weeks to 2 months. Then they are just "maintenance" appointments.

I'd also try to keep the insurance if you ever want to have that surgery. Medical bills will pile up really quickly without it. Do you have anyone who can offer you some financial advice?

My last few days have been pretty crazy to be honest. Lots of students with mental health concerns that involve lots of emails to make sure that they get the support that they need. My son has also been highly stressed with school so keeping him from getting too strung out has been a bit of a challenge. And then today I found out what I thought was a half day workshop in October is a two day full day workshop that entirely gets rid of my fall break. Ugh. 

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SweetPea321 OP October 11th, 2023

Oh no! That's a bummer that your fall break is gone now. Speaking of mental health, my therapist suggested that we have 2 more sessions and then quit them all together. She feels that I'm ready to go on by myself. I guess I can contact her if something should pop up and I need to talk. I'll be starting the new year on my own. I'm kinda nervous about that. Hoping that I don't get SAD during the winter or anything really bad happens that puts me back into depression.

Does your school offer any mental health support for students so you can refer them to that? My school does, although I have yet to get the details.

I don't have anybody to help with the financial advice, but I have some plans. I was actually talking about my car insurance, but I'm going to try to keep that. I could just see it now. I lapse...then I get into an accident.

Well, tomorrow morning is my physical therapy appointment. Then I have the rest of the day to work on my class and relax before she comes home from school. I love this time of year. Not too cold. Beautiful foliage. Pumpkins everywhere...

I hope today went better for you and your students.

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bestVase7265 October 12th, 2023

Ah, the car insurance makes more sense. All insurance is so expensive right now.

The PT sounds like it will be nice and the fall is a lovely season (though it is still pretty hot here, we did get a half day with a breeze last weekend).

You will figure out how to move forward on the therapy front. It is good that you might end up having an additional backup with your school.

In answer to your question, yes we have tons of support for students. If somebody goes down or is struggling, I end up sending out at least 4 emails every time (a Care Intervention report, their academic advisor, their other professors, and sometimes a few others as well).

Today was okay, but really busy as I am now trying not to slow down at all so that I don't get too far behind with all of the time that I am losing. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP October 12th, 2023

It's been raining all day and it's supposed to tomorrow too. I'm loving the sounds of the rain and thunder. I feel so relaxed. Physical therapy was great today. My therapist is awesome. My favorite part is when he "pampers my arm" as I call it 😄 and the exercises are helping too. Other than that, my day has been simple. Just worked on my class and enjoyed my time to myself.

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bestVase7265 October 13th, 2023

That sounds quite relaxing. I am glad that you had a day to pamper yourself.

I got to see both of my boys who don't live at home anymore today. So that was nice. We had an installation ceremony for our new college president this afternoon. 

Our weather was much dicier though. We had rain coming through in waves every so often accompanied by tornadoes. The humidity was really, really high and everything felt weird outside.

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SweetPea321 OP October 14th, 2023

I'd be scared to live in Florida with hurricanes and stuff like that. It continued to rain nonstop today. I bought my eldest daughter a beautiful white fur hood coat, a hat and some gloves and sent it to her today. She'll get it tomorrow. Then I ordered my youngest a Halloween costume too...Toad from the Mario games, she wanted to be. That'll be cute. Now I just have to get Jasmine some winter boots and snowpants. I'll do that in the next check or two. Then we'll be ready for the winter. Jasmine is excited for the snow lol. Everybody else complains about it, but I don't usually mind it. Only when I can't go somewhere because it's too bad, but that doesn't happen much.

That's so nice that you got to see your boys. I always feel complete when I get to have both of my girls together so I imagine you must feel similar.

Tomorrow we get to sleep in, Vase. You too?

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bestVase7265 October 14th, 2023

The weather is normally okay. Tornados are very, very rare.

I am just trying not to be overwhelmed by everything to be honest. I won't set an alarm for tomorrow, but I am sure that I will be up by 6:30. I have way to much to get done now that I have lost my break.

I did force myself to take a short breather tonight and go to a small faculty gathering where I decorated some skeleton cupcakes. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP October 15th, 2023

When is your next break...Christmas? Today we went shopping. While I ran inside the general dollar store to pick up some milk and stuff, Jasmine decided to put a hold bunch of hand sanitizer on my car seat. When I got into the car and sat down, I thought ...did I have a pee accident? Then she told me what she did. I was so mad I swore and yelled. I felt bad about that later, but not about taking her tablet and nintendo away for an hour. I gotta learn to chill out more. She's only 9. It's harder with Jasmine than it was with my eldest. She is a good girl. Jasmine is a constant challenge.

We are having a good time playing tonight. Listening to music and playing tickle monster. My eldest is working until 10 tonight and then she'll get to open the package I sent her when she gets home. I'm so excited to hear her response!

I'm so sorry about not getting that break, Vase. You must be exhausted 😔 I hope you can get some peace again soon. Cupcake decorating sounds fun, although I'm terrible at decorating. I hated when they used to ask me to write on cakes at my last job.


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bestVase7265 October 15th, 2023

Oh, I didn't say that I was any good at decorating. They looked a bit like run-over skeletons. But I tried and they looked vaguely like something. That was good enough.

I am sorry but your hand sanitizer story actually made me laugh. I can so imagine that happening with at 9 year old. I can also imagine yelling at my kid for doing it. I have a feeling that one you will remember and lookin back years from now and smile.

I will get a day or two off at Thanksgiving, but yes then it will be Christmas (probably around the 23rd) that I will finally be done grading if everything goes well. But I work really hard at sprinkling my day with mini breaks now. I got in a walk this morning, watched an episode of Call the Midwife part way through the day, did some ***, made a nice carrot loaf for dinner, and watched some baby animal cams from the Cleveland Zoo. For work I graded 4 papers, finished reading a book chapter, and sent out a bunch of emails. So the day wasn't too badly balanced.

Tomorrow I will drive to see my parents (2.5 hours each way) so that will be tougher and more tiring. But I just do a day at a time. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP October 16th, 2023

I'm sure I will laugh at the time Jasmine tried to sanitize my butt in the car some day. I already smiled as I read your response about it. I'm tired tonight, Vase, so I'll be back tomorrow. You'll probably be tired as well from your long drive. Enjoy your visit 🙂

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bestVase7265 October 16th, 2023

I am tired, but I survived. We can indeed talk tomorrow.

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SweetPea321 OP October 18th, 2023

Sorry for missing yesterday, Vase. I'm feeling a little under the weather tonight. I laid down at 5pm (which I never do that late) and my daughter came up to wake me up for dinner. I could only muster up the energy for some corn dogs and greenbeans. I didn't prepare anything else. Tomorrow the beef will be thawed and I'll make cheeseburgers since we haven't been eating out. Hopefully mine will be as good as Burger King's (her favorite) for her. We ran out of milk and I feel bad now because I can't get her any until I get paid on Friday. I'm not used to running out of money and she drank it up faster than i thought she would. I don't drink milk. This week, they have MEA meetings so there's no school on Thursday and Friday. Next week, I'll apply for food assistance since my rent is doubling in November.

How are you doing?

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bestVase7265 October 18th, 2023

Sorry that you are feeling under the weather. It is hard when you get low energy like that. I am sure that your burgers will be good. A few days without milk is just fine. Water is even more healthy. It is rough that your rent is going up by so much. I hope that it is easy to apply for the food assistance.

I am pretty tired after two days of workshop that I didn't know about a week ago. I am also behind on grading and class preparation. But I think my course next semester will be better because I spent so much time thinking about it. I just hope that the rest of this semester isn't a mess because I can't make up the time that I lost doing two days of a 9-4 workshop. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP October 19th, 2023

You got this, bestVase! I know it's difficult, but I think you are superwoman 🦸‍♀️ You've been doing this job for awhile now and you know how to get through the rough times, slowly but surely. Just remind yourself of your strength. This semester be over soon enough. Time flies when we're busy. But it's good to vent, isn't it? I had to put on my super cape today too. I didn't feel like doing anything. I almost canceled my psych evaluation and I ended up crying when she asked me about my parents and I mentioned their passing this summer. I hope that didn't make me look bad (unstable). I really want this surgery.

My burgers were good I thought. She ate it all. First she said it was good. Then she decided not as good as Burger King. I don't know lol. I'm just glad to be done with the day's To Do List.

Hope you had an easier day, but if you didn't...I'm hear to listen and lift you up (just as you do for me) 🤗

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bestVase7265 October 19th, 2023

Thanks for the support. I will keep it brief tonight. Teaching, grading 3 papers, entering midterm grades, 2 student meetings, one faculty lunch, food shopping, making dinner, calling parents, choir rehearsal. I am pretty beat.

I think that it is good that you got a bit teary about your parents. You lost both of them quickly. The story makes you human. It also shows them that you have a real story with ups and downs like the rest of us. I am glad that dinner went well. I will catch you tomorrow night. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP October 19th, 2023

I bet you're tired. Sounds like alot of work. If you miss the next nights, I'll understand.

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SweetPea321 OP October 20th, 2023

I selected my internship location today. So excited! It's a pharmacy inside of a mental health center. I'm looking forward to meeting the pharmacist I talked to on the phone. She sounded really nice. That was my big event for the day.

Tomorrow the new Mario game comes out, and as promised I will buy it. Can I really afford it? No, but my daughter worked hard to earn her points in school so I can't renege. I'll apply for the food assistance on Monday after court. This will be my last appearance as the CPS worker said the case will close, but she will remain a support for us.

Did you get through some of your tasks that you wanted to?

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bestVase7265 October 20th, 2023

I would be excited too! That sounds like a nice location for an internship. That is a place that really helps people. How long is the internship? Congratulations for moving forward on things.

It is also great that you are finding a way forward with CPS and some food assistance. I hope that all goes well for you.

I am doing okay. Tired again, but I can deal with it. I went to a nice viewing of a history documentary of our area tonight. I am hoping that I can get access to it so I can show it to my class next semester. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP October 20th, 2023

Thanks, Vase. The internship is 144 hours. I'm feeling worse again today so I'll check back tomorrow. Looking forward to going to bed tonight.

Take care.

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bestVase7265 October 21st, 2023

Sending strength and peace for tonight. Hopefully you wake up rested and feeling more yourself. 

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SweetPea321 OP October 22nd, 2023

Thank you for the peace and strength. I actually had enough strength to sweep and mop today. Tomorrow I'll clean the bathrooms and do laundry. I still have a terrible sore throat, but I had some Amoxicillan left and took some and felt somewhat better today.

My daughter's Toad costume from Amazom came today. It fits perfect and she looks so darn cute. Can't wait to dress up with her for Halloween and go trick or treating. This evening after dinner, we went upstairs to my bedroom and I lit all of my candles for her and we listened to music and hung out. Earlier when we were watching a movie, she said she liked some wild rock music that was playing so I played her some Ozzy, Ramones, Megadeth, and AC/DC tonight. We danced crazy and had a good time. It was fun.

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bestVase7265 October 22nd, 2023

That sounds like a fun day overall. Sorry about the sore throat. Hopefully it will go away soon. I love the idea of the music and the movie. The toad costume sounds awesome. I bet she will get more into music as she gets older.

I had my COVID and flu shot yesterday and thought for sure I would be totally sick today. My muscles ache a bit, but otherwise I am pretty good. So that is a relief. I also was able to get two pairs of shoes today. My sandals had cracked all the way across the bottom. I am hopeful that I bought something comfortable this time.  I also had a nice Chinese lunch out with friends.@SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP October 23rd, 2023

Be back tomorrow. Lost track of the time.

SweetPea321 OP October 24th, 2023

Are your muscles sore from the shots? I haven't had my Covid shot yet, but I had the flu shot. I'll ask for it when I get my second hep b, and have shot coming up here. I still feel terrible. No energy whatsoever and really sore throat. I'm finally doing laundry. My kid was sick for only 3 days. Me? I lost track of how many days it's been.

I'm cooking dinner late because I didn't feel like getting up to do it. We're having burgers again to use up the last hamburger buns.

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SweetPea321 OP October 24th, 2023

Hep b and Hvp* shot

bestVase7265 October 24th, 2023

I was surprised that the COVID shot really had no impact for me beyond the sore arm (and it was a bit itchy). I am so sorry that you have been so sick. Sometimes those things really last a while. I send you patience as you improve slowly but surely.

Burgers are actually an improvement on what I ended up with for dinner - a handful of carrots, honey mustard dressing, a small piece of roast beef and a few pieces of cheese. I didn't have any time to cook and all we had were minimal leftovers to share. Tomorrow I will cook a shrimp salad kind of thing so that will be better.

Except for being crazy busy things were okay today. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP October 24th, 2023

It's been raining here today so hopefully it continues into the night and helps me to sleep. I've been having trouble sleeping the past days. I find myself falling asleep between 1 and 2. Then we get up at 7. Not enough sleep for me and not helping me while I'm sick either. I thought about asking for the Covid shot while I picked up some meds at the pharmacy today, but then I remembered that I'm sick and should wait until I'm better to get it. Tonight is even lamer for dinner...hotdog and chips night. My daughter asked me to make beanie weenie and cornbread, but I didn't even feel like standing to make that. I promised to make it tomorrow though.

What do you do to wind down after a busy day? How's the Florida weather? We're looking at snow this weekend. Today was in the 50s.

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bestVase7265 October 25th, 2023

Sorry for the trouble sleeping. That can't be fun when you aren't feeling well. I have been having trouble lately too, especially waking up 3 times a night. I think that it is all of the stress of the day, but I wake up in a rotten mood. But just powering through it usually works after an hour or two.

Our weather has been in the lower 80s and is supposed to remain fairly constant for the next week I think. 

We did do the shrimp thing for dinner tonight. It was kind of like shrimp egg rolls but broken apart and easier to make. Luckily my husband helped me. Then I did an overnight french toast thing for tomorrow night. Unluckily, I won't get to eat it because I have a dinner meeting and then choir rehearsal, but at least I have enough food in the house to feed people. You will be back to being able to handle food prep again soon. Just take it easy when you can. 

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SweetPea321 OP October 26th, 2023

Oh no, Vase! I get up at least 3 times a night to pee, so I understand how you feel 😔 Sometimes it's hard to get back into a good sleep. I remember when I was a kid and hearing my mom complain about getting up frequently at night too. I guess it's our turn to do that now.

I just painted my nails black for the last week of October. We have fun with Halloween and really any holiday here.

How was your day today? Did you get an easy day for once?

SweetPea321 OP October 27th, 2023

Welcome to the weekend, Vase. What are your plans? I promised to take kiddo out to Burger King for dinner. We rarely eat out now, but she asked for a BK burger.

Then I'll play some Mario Wonder with her and have candle and cuddle time in my bedroom before bed.

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bestVase7265 October 28th, 2023

I am so sorry that I missed two nights. As you know, I nearly never do that. Both Wednesday and Thursday I left the house at 7 am and returned at 9 pm. I was too exhausted to even move and had tons of work emails to deal with in the hour before bed. 

Yesterday was a big lecture at my school (over 1000 in attendance) so that was pretty stressful because we had been planning it for so long. It went well and I think the students learned a lot about how to imagine themselves actually voting some day and having civil discussions around politics. I am thinking some of my not sleeping was coming from my worry.

Today was much better and I was sure to rest during the afternoon some. We also ordered the remaining windows for the house so we will be more prepared next hurricane season. So it was good.

The weekend will also be pretty busy but hopefully survivable. I have a three hour choir rehearsal to prepare for a concert in a few weeks and then I need to practice a solo that I have on Sunday. I also have to do a presentation that I have to give on Monday to all of my fellow professors. Hopefully it won't take too long to figure out what I want to say.

We finally managed to pick up a few pumpkins tonight. Otherwise we haven't done too much in terms of Halloween. I love the holidays but they do seem to rush by at points because of all my school work.

I am glad that you have been enjoying things. I hope that you have a great weekend celebrating with your daughter. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP October 28th, 2023

No problem, Vase. You are super busy and I'm so proud of you for getting up there and talking in front of so many people. I will think of you the next time I'm afraid to do something. Will your concert be on YouTube eventually? I'd love to see it if you're open to showing, otherwise I do respect your privacy.

Tonight I'm making beanie weenie and honey cornbread, one of my daughter's favorite meals.

It snowed a little bit an hour ago. First snow fall. My daughter was excited.

SweetPea321 OP October 29th, 2023

We just finished making unbaked bars (like the cookies, but I make them into bars like my Mom did). The apprentice unbaker got to lick the spoon when we were done. Unfortunately I didn't think of making them earlier, so she'll probably fall asleep before they harden.

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bestVase7265 October 29th, 2023

Oh, I didn't speak in front of the thousand people. That was a speaker we brought in from out of state. I just had to get all my students there and behaving. I was actually quite nervous to even speak to the speaker at the reception beforehand. I almost walked away when she came my direction. But I actually stuck around and said a few sentences without embarrassing myself.

Unluckily, they aren't recording or broadcasting the concert itself. But we do broadcast Sunday services (10 am Eastern standard time). It is at Pass-A-Grille Beach Community Church which is pretty easy to locate with Google if you ever wanted to attempt to watch. We usually sing 1-2 pieces somewhere in there.

Our longer practice today was fine but I never got a chance to practice my solo. Hopefully tomorrow morning will be enough to prep it. I also didn't finish my Monday presentation for my fellow professors either. It was just too much other stuff going on. But I will get caught up somehow tomorrow.

I am glad that you got to make some of your daughter's favorite food and the bars. Sounds like a great Saturday. 
@SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP October 30th, 2023

Our Sunday was also relaxing. Nothing much to report. Looking forward to the school week. My daughter followed me all over the house, so it'll be nice to get some alone time. I'm feeling better, but my throat still hurts. It's not as bad though.

Are you managing to stay healthy so far this school year? I'm gonna get my Covid shot once I fully recover.

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bestVase7265 October 30th, 2023

Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. I am doing fine health wise. I am glad that you had a good, relaxing day with your daughter.

Mine was less hectic which was good. The solo in church this morning went well so I am quite relieved. My coming week is much less intense so I am looking forward to that as well. I made some open faced crab sandwiches for dinner. 

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SweetPea321 OP November 2nd, 2023

Sorry I missed. We had a good Halloween 🎃 Jasmine looked so cute in her Toad costume and I was cool in my Devil one. Today I had physical therapy and boy did my therapist make me laugh. He's so darn cute and funny, it almost feels like a date. I will miss him once my therapy is over, but for now, it's fun to laugh with another grown-up. I seriously need more friends that have time for me in my life. I mean, I get it...we're all busy, but just someone to get together with now and then would be nice.

My daughter has been doing good in school lately with her behavior. I hope she keeps it up.

Other than that, that was my day. How was yours?

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bestVase7265 November 2nd, 2023

You are right about needing more adults in our lives to laugh with. Hopefully some more of that can happen as you get that job training for you. Adult friendships pop up at the weirdest times. You will find more.

Glad to hear that Halloween went well. Ours was good but involved just looking at kids costumes.

Otherwise I am fine. We had some nice salmon nuggets tonight for dinner. Think chicken nuggets but with fish. I was surprised how well they turned out. I didn't burn them to the bottom of the pan. Then I had choir rehearsal. My solo last Sunday went well. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP November 6th, 2023

Looking at kid costumes is fun and glad to hear your solo went well. I'm beat tonight! Jasmine had her first friend over for the weekend and these girls had me active. I'll be back tomorrow. Have a great night.

SweetPea321 OP November 6th, 2023

Good evening, Vase. How have you been? I'm laying down on my bed, practicing using this CPAP machine that I just got today. It freaked me out when I first put it on, but I think I'm getting a little used to it. It feels so weird.

So my daughter came home frome school and said her friend wants to spend the night again next Friday. I guess that would be fine, but I hope this won't be every weekend. Maybe she just really had a good time at our place. I'm glad Jasmine finally has a little friend.

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bestVase7265 November 7th, 2023

Sleepovers can be exhausting. Maybe after this weekend you can talk about once a month or something like that. But making friends is good.

CPAP machines can be really helpful if you get used to them.

I am overall okay, just a little run down tonight. A combination of some bowel issues and the time change I think. Hopefully it will be gone by morning because the week is quite busy. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP November 9th, 2023

How are you feeling today, Vase? Any better? I'm feeling fatigued again. My daughter's para has Covid and we've been around her. Hopefully we don't get it and hopefully I can make it to Friday sick-free so I can get my Covid shot!


Other than that, life is but a dream...

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bestVase7265 November 9th, 2023

Well, I hope that you don't get COVID. That wouldn't be fun as you get ready for the shot. 

This is another really busy week for me. I am just trying to keep on top of things but tonight I am completely exhausted after leaving at 7 am and getting home at 9:15 pm. Tomorrow is exactly the same hours. So as long as I don't pass out, things should be fine.

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SweetPea321 OP November 9th, 2023

Vase, don't even worry about posting tomorrow. Sounds like you'll be exhausted from work. I'm guessing I may feel fatigued again too. Take care 🤗

SweetPea321 OP November 11th, 2023

Got my Covid shot this morning and as the day went on I started to feel tired and now I have a sore throat again. Sigh... Can't wait for bed tonight, Vase.

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bestVase7265 November 11th, 2023

Luckily the effects of the shot shouldn't last long. I hope that tomorrow is better. I am just looking forward to being home more the next few days. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP November 12th, 2023

Do you think the fatigue is from the Covid shot? I'm still tired today too. My daughter is already asleep. I may make it an early night tonight.

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bestVase7265 November 12th, 2023

It very well could be from the shot. Hopefully tomorrow will be much more lively for you and you will get your energy back.

I am working on that a bit myself. It has been a really rough week and I am increasingly far behind. @SweetPea321

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SweetPea321 OP November 14th, 2023

Maybe this week will be better, Vase. Today I finally felt better. Had my energy back when I woke up, although I took a little nap in the afternoon. My stepmom called and invited us to Thanksgiving so we'll be going on that long car drive to see the family. That'll be nice.

I can't wait for physical therapy on Wednesday. Other than that. Not much going on this week for me. I'm enjoying this laid back semester. Next semester will be busier as I'll be starting my internship on January 15th.

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bestVase7265 November 14th, 2023

I am trying to reply with a longer message because I am in crisis but it won't let me post it. I am going to try again tomorrow.@SweetPea321

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MindGazer91 November 11th, 2023

I was manic in May and it crashed into a depression that is still going to this day. Spravato...a ketamine based drug...was really helping. I've started it once a week now and depression is coming back. I miss the twice a week and now I feel a bit discouraged. I wish they had just done electro convulsive treatments like usual.

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SweetPea321 OP November 12th, 2023

Welcome to the thread MindGazer. Sorry to hear about the depression wave. Is there anything you can do to get yourself some energy back? Energy really makes a difference. When I got on Phentermine for weight loss it also helped with depression because I suddenly had energy again.

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MindGazer91 November 12th, 2023

@SweetPea321  I'm going to bring it up to my psychiatrist. One psychiatrist used to give me Adderall for energy. Worked great but the provider that took her place removed it. It's frustrating when you switch providers and they want to change everything.

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SweetPea321 OP November 14th, 2023

Aww, I'm sorry. I hope you can get it back. If it helps to give you energy to get out of your depression then why not? Unless you have high blood pressure or a heart condition or something. Good luck!

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bestVase7265 November 14th, 2023

I am going to admit actually being in horrible shape. I am truly an emotional wreck at the moment.

It is a situation that has been building up over the last two weeks and exploded even further today. There is unluckily little that I can do about it either.

bestVase7265 November 14th, 2023

I had a student whom I have known for a long time and who I have always liked complain about how I was grading her journals. She wanted more idea of what to write about.