Nothing seems to be going right
My mother finally told me at the start of our Saturday call that something was wrong. She told me that my younger sister, the one who only just got off the street this week has decided she wants to go back to the shelter she was kicked out of. I don’t know if she has a problem with the cubicle she was given, but she bugged our mother for her credit card number so she could ride a pay as you go scooter there.
My mom said no and they had a bit of an argument that unsettled my mom, made her really nervous because it was a rehashed old arguments plus the idea that my sister was going to ruin it at her new place and make her and the dog homeless again.
My mom was panicking because she’s in the middle of a terrible flare of her COPD but refuses to go to the hospital or urgent care even if I volunteer to go along with her to help smooth things over as an advocate and offer emotional support.
She said no because she always says no, then continued to say no when I offered to help her shop or get water. Her friend who has Covid again offered to send her Amazon groceries, and that was nice. My mom won’t starve but she also isn’t taking help from me.
She had to get off the phone and call me back several times between calls from her friend and having to stop talking because of all of the coughing and choking.
I’m trying to focus on the positives with my mother instead of everything wrong with my sister. At least my mother will have food soon.
@integrityblues I'm sorry to hear about your family dynamics. It makes sense to me why you would be so worried about your sister. Lack of stability and facing homeless is no joke and can take toll. I hope things get better for your sister and that she one day gets back on track. I know right now you may feel like nothing is going right but you did mention that your mom has someone that is sending her groceries, so knowing that your mom will be fed and have food available to her is a good thing. I do not know the severity of all that you and your loved ones are facing but I truly hope things get better for the all of you. <3
You are doing the best you can. Take a deep breath. All of that drama with your mom and your sister are very, very draining. You have a good idea in focusing on the things that will be better for your mom soon. Give her a little space and hope. I just read a piece called "Hope is a Discipline" and I am trying to use it as a mantra. It can really be soothing to believe that you have no choice but to look for the hope.
What kinds of things are you doing to care for yourself? @integrityblues
Sleeping, mostly. Then I woke up this morning to my mom’s text from the ER. She’s got a lung infection now which is why her recent flare has been so awful.
I spoke to my aunt and ended up asking to not go with her to a family thing because this was such a surprise and a stress.
My mom is getting IV antibiotics, that she might stay overnight, and has told me that she doesn’t want any of us to come to her. I gave the news and warned my older sister and don’t have my younger sister’s information. At least my older sister knows what’s up and that it’s easier for our mother to text instead of talk.
Ugh. I am so sorry to hear. I am going through a similar bout of worrying over my own parents. It is so tough, especially when they ask you not to come and you just want to help.
The IV antibiotics will help though. It was good that she knew when to go to the ER too. It also explains in part why she was so upset about your younger sister - her body wasn't feeling well enough to deal with the emotional stress.
So, the key is that you keep yourself from getting sick at this point because that will make the other stuff harder on you. How are you eating at the moment? Still doing the healthier stuff? @integrityblues
my older sister visited our mother and reported back to me that she looks good. That the antibiotics were started as a precaution as the doctors try to figure out what’s wrong with her.
Ive said 20 Mi Sheberachs for her, just in case.
I haven’t been doing extremely well because the end of last month was a very thin month good wise. I’ve been over eating and having way too many sweets, so I’m starting Monday fresh by shopping for ingredients to make that rice wasabi dish you mentioned.
Im also trying to get my kitchen in order since I found my first summer cockroach this week, then a half dead one this morning because I’d thoroughly sprayed the kitchen with bug spray.
@integrityblues 😥 that's really sad. How come your sister is on the streets? Homeless?? And yeah I live in a old folks nursing home. One old lady here is very stubbon 🙂 she refuses all help. There's only so much you can do! And in the midst of all this. Please please take care of yourself too
@integrityblues
Oh man, I can only imagine how tough this must be for you and your family. It's like you're watching your mom struggle, but she's not letting you in. It's a tough spot to be in. But hey, it's good to hear that her friend is stepping up and offering to send her groceries through Amazon. At least she won't go hungry, and that's a relief. I know it's hard to focus on the positives when everything feels like it's falling apart, but keep reminding yourself that your mom will have food soon. And even though she's not accepting your help right now, keep letting her know that you're there for her, regardless. Sometimes, it just takes a little time for people to come around and accept the support they need.