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No hope for me

Trauma is burning me. Mom's drinking and having three free days when she can drink all day. At my accommodation my trauma eats me alive. Im graduating and i have to get a job but i have to pick a city and both options are bad. It's hard to take care of myself and the household with my depression. Leave alone work and pay rent. Otherwise i have to bear mom and a city without friends and therapy. I'm so tired. Everyone else is progressing with life and i just suffer 24/7

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Tinywhisper11 May 26th

@intellectualGrapefruit6085 šŸ˜„ I'm sorry about your mum, it's hard to be out there on your ownšŸ˜ž but you can do this, go out there and take the city by storm ā¤ it may be scary right now, but you can do this. Life has a funny way of turning out just fine ā¤ gives you a giant tiny hug, good luck sweetie ā¤ right here for you ā¤

1 reply

Hug. I'm so terribly afraid of returning to that city, accommodation and all. Traveling, food, being on my own. I can't manage

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Cnguyen1 May 29th

@Tinywhisper11

hi Tiny!!

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Cnguyen1 May 31st

@Tinywhisper11

Man, leaving work for home sounds grand. Sorry to hear about all of that. I wanted to create this post by spending some time on it for Tiny,Ā but I feel like itā€™s about working on my shame as well.. I know itā€™s been consistent. Sounds like a lot of work and a lot of burden to feel all of that and have to witness your mom like that, on top of work, so I feel you with your traumas. ā¤ļøšŸ’”

** TW: Depression, shame Ā Hope you can find the right support that you need in support groups and whatnot! Ā 

I like to read forum posts sometimes, especially when it gets late out at night Ā sometimes it might feel even dangerous out Ā you might feel that, too, to anyone reading this post..Ā 

I listen to a lot of Christian music these days, while in depression. I donā€™t know if you need a friend, but I feel even blocked from meeting friends, since itā€™s late and night and every time Iā€™m outside, Iā€™m always eating as well. So all is to say that I get the addiction part. It might even feel like life class, even. I know in middle school we talked about subjects that I care about, and I like that they left in the drugs part. I think it was the movie Homeless to Harvard. Theres also the Cuckooā€™s Nest one thatā€™s the one thatā€™s also a book that my psychology teacher had us watch in high school, which still impacts me til this day. But I like that those movies get to show you a little taste of what the world can look like. Disability as well, in Gattaca.Ā 

There are supportive groups here as well on 7 Cups. Thereā€™s a sort of openness of your post which I love; thanks for sharing as well. šŸ’•šŸ„°šŸ„°

Cnguyen1 May 31st

@Tinywhisper11

thank you tiny

1 reply
Tinywhisper11 May 31st

@SunLionheart ā¤ā¤ā¤

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