Is it Depression?
Hi everyone I am confused.
I have had episodes of depression from a young age so i feel like i can recognise them quite well. These episodes have always come with feelings of hopelessness, anxiety and general apathy to the world. But I'm currently experiencing what I concider clear signs of depression e.i. tiredness, lack motivation, being unable to properly care for my basic human needs. But I have not been feeling hopeless or particularly apathetic. I'm in a massive moment of change in my life which I belive is what has brought this on but I'm not sure anymore if it is depression or something else since I'm not experiencing any obvious mental destress. I'm anxious about the uncertainty that has been thrown into my life by the huge change I am having to adapt to but I think that level of anxiety is normal? So here I am looking out at the beautiful weather thinking maybe I should do something but feeling stuck in bed usable to escape except into my dreams and wondering if this is depression after all. It seems like it should be but I'm not in pain. So how can it be? Is this what depression is like sometimes? Or is it something else that I'm experiencing now.
@HatsEatYou
Depression is different for many but what you describe fits .....
i think it also changes throughout life as we may do different coping things..... maybe that is why so many do not see it in themselves until it gets BAD because it is not meeting their idea of what it should feel like etc.
Since you have had before what were items you did before to help you?
i tend to force myself out of house or doing things out of comfort zone to make me see things differently.... i challenge myself to view what ever is causing anxiety / stress a different way
Being active and getting out the house always helps me. I'm currently unemployed so finding reasons to leave is kind of difficult. But I'm trying to I just keep going right back to bed when I get in though. It's annoying and I know I shouldn't but I do it anyway. Controlling myself so I can do the things that are going to help is the hard bit i think.
Depression can very much be like this. Depression also changes shape over time. Have you talked to anyone about your new symptoms?@HatsEatYou
No I don't really talk to people about my depression anymore. I have it relatively frequently and my family and friends are all dealing with their own problems. I know it will pass eventually and in many ways this is better than my usual symptoms so there doesn't seem much point talking to people about it. But If things do get Bad I do have people I can go to for help. I just felt unsure of myself when I made the post. I have a habit of believing I am actually fine and just pretending to have depression when my mood dips. 🙃 but I have been trying to tell myself "why would you pretend to be unable to function properly." I think because I have had a couple years whiteout a bad episode I have forgotten how much depression messes up your thoughts.
Yes, it definitely messes with your thoughts. You are doing a good job recognizing it. No one wants to feel like you do when you are depressed. You aren't selfish or trying to get attention or anything. Your brain chemistry isn't working for you right now.
It is great that you have people in place if things get bad.
Come back here to vent any time that you want. I look daily and answer anyone who responded to me. @HatsEatYou
Disclaimer I am not diagnosed with depression.
I have had such period as you described where I was not motivated and slept alot and things like that when a big change was going on. I wondered at those times of it was depression
I find it very interesting that you are also wondering when you have experience with depression.
I decided ultimately it did not matter if it was transitional and I just needed to get to the other side and that. Being in bed would not get me there. At such times I found myself overburdened with things to do and would cycle through different plans and ways of prioritizing it all and all the ways things could go wrong. At some point I realized I was getting further and further behind. At some point I decided to use a new for me approach. I would do one ordinary thing for 30 or 40 mins then rest if needed for a few, then put in a 30 t0 40 min session on a larger project or task.
This might look like cleaning a bathroom then w arching youtube while eating a sandwich then making phonecalls and scheduling stuff like medical and car maintenamce. Then doing laundry then gathering tools and supplies for a repair. Then paying bills then putting time in on the repair. Then making dinner then doing an hour of yardwork.
back and forth. Then I would kick back and watch a program or veg to youtibe before bed. Listening to podcasts while I work also helped a lot as it occupied my mind and kept me from rehashing stuff in endless circles. By alternating I could see some stuff getting done and my environment improved around me while some progress was being made on the super big stuff even of slowly.
I hope you can find help relief from your depression and anxiety. Uncertainty is never fun. And agreed anxiety is normal during such times of change. Be kind to yourself and practice self care if at all possible you deserve it.
Thankyou. This is pretty useful advice, i have done something similar with 15 min intervals. I think my inviroment has been having a big impact on me and finding a way to takle the tasks as they keep piling up is rather daunting. I think the reminder that I can use a strategy like this was needed. I need to remember doing anything even for a few minutes is better than nothing.
Most definitely. @HatsEatYou
It took me weeks but my cluttered house is caught up in the common spaces and kitchen. My room and the closets, basement and garage are still zones of some kind but progress is being made.
I took most of my time for a few days to help someone move and she is such a wreck it made me feel grateful for what I have going on by comparison. I am greatful to have resources to "pay it forward" so to speak.
I made appointments yesterday and even scheduled some Lifescreening health scans as the outfit will be in my area. (its uItrasound based screening for heart and circulation) something that has been on my mind for years now and I decided I would get the screenings so I could know if there was something that needs addressed without having to explain to docs I have no symptoms but really want my neck veins scanned because its a mental stress thing for me. Now I can pay cash and affordably get this and other things looked at and put my mind to rest.
In the meantime I have to move or put up things that would fill a certain box each day. This is my minimum. And it has added up over time. I walked out into my living room this morning and it's nice. I need to wash the windows and a screen is wonky probably because of my cat, but it can wait u til It's not raining. Maybe I will dust and polish furniture instead. I did the floor in there yesterday.
I even split the bathroom into three parts these days. I do the tub, then toilet and sink then floor and litter box. Then less often the curtain, light fixtures and window sill and door. In this way I have shifted from a job I have to fit in at night to a few mins before I shower in the morning.
I am rebuilding it all a few mins at a time.