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I hate what my life has become

D86 June 18th

I have no friends locally. I’m unbelievably lonely. I can’t get any decent jobs. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t get anything to improve my situation. My family doesn’t seem to care and just use me for favors because I’m always available because of not having a job or friends. What can I do at this point? I feel like I’ve tried everything available and have no luck. I feel like my life is wasting away

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ASilentObserver June 24th

@D86 thank you for sharing with us D86. I hear you are feeling discouraged by the lack of progress in improving your situation, especially with finding a job and social connections. Feeling low on energy is understandable when we have been trying hard but facing repeated setbacks. What thoughts go through your mind when you feel like giving up?


1 reply
D86 OP June 26th

That I will never get anywhere, will work endlessly for horrible jobs with terrible pay the rest of my life and be miserable and lonely.

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akunknown June 28th

@D86

If you truly hate what your life has become, then change it for the better. It’s your life. Only you have control over it. Not anyone else and no one else can live it for you. 

Write down everything you don’t like about your life and tackle one thing at a time however you want to do it, like using small steps if you want, and once one thing is tackled, check it off and go on to the next thing till everything on your list is completed. Then your life will be so much better you’ll love it. 

1 reply
D86 OP July 1st

I’ve been trying with no success and a bunch of debt

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WhiteAura9 September 17th

@D86

It sounds like you're facing a deeply challenging situation, and the sense of loneliness and frustration you're experiencing is understandable. Feeling isolated and stuck, especially when it seems like your efforts aren't leading to positive change, can be incredibly disheartening.

Your feelings of loneliness and the lack of local friends can be especially painful. Social connections are crucial for emotional well-being, and not having those in your immediate environment can heighten feelings of isolation. It’s important to acknowledge how tough this is and recognize that your feelings of loneliness are valid.

Struggling to find a decent job and feeling like you're just being used by your family can add layers of frustration and helplessness. It’s tough when you feel like your situation isn't improving despite your efforts, and it can be challenging to see a way forward when you're caught in a cycle of disappointment.

Here are a few suggestions that might help:

1. Consider exploring new avenues to connect with others, such as online communities or local groups related to your interests. Sometimes, building connections takes time and persistence, but finding a community that aligns with your interests can be a meaningful first step.

2. If job opportunities are limited, focusing on developing new skills or pursuing interests that could lead to future employment might be helpful. Online courses or volunteering can sometimes open new doors and provide a sense of accomplishment.

3. Prioritizing self-care and finding ways to nurture yourself, even in small ways, can help manage feelings of loneliness and frustration. Engaging in activities you enjoy or that bring you peace can provide moments of relief.

4. It’s important to establish boundaries with family members to ensure you’re not just a source of convenience. Finding ways to communicate your needs and limits can help create a more balanced relationship.

5. Take time to recognize your strengths and the qualities that make you unique. Reflecting on your achievements, no matter how small, can help shift your focus from the challenges to your abilities.

Remember, feeling like your life is wasting away is a sign of deep distress, and it’s important to be gentle with yourself as you navigate these feelings. Your worth is not defined by your current circumstances or your feelings of stagnation. Taking small steps towards change, even if they seem minor, can gradually lead to improvement. You are deserving of hope and positive change, and acknowledging your struggles is an important part of moving forward.

2 replies
WhiteAura9 September 17th
It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly tough time right now. Feeling lonely and stuck, especially when it seems like your efforts aren’t leading to the changes you hope for, can be really overwhelming. It’s deeply painful to feel isolated and to struggle with job prospects while also feeling used by your family. 

It’s clear that you’re carrying a lot of emotional weight, and your feelings of frustration and helplessness are completely valid. It’s hard to keep pushing forward when it feels like nothing is improving, and your sense of being a burden or not making progress is a heavy load to bear. 

Please know that your feelings matter, and you’re not alone in this. It’s important to acknowledge the strength it takes to keep going despite these challenges. Your worth is not defined by the difficulties you’re facing right now. You’re doing your best in a very tough situation, and that effort deserves recognition. 

Even in moments when it feels like life is at a standstill, your resilience and persistence are significant. Your emotions are real and important, and you deserve understanding and kindness, especially from yourself.
1 reply
WhiteAura9 September 17th
You may have tried few of the below, nonetheless, wanted to share the same with you:

1. Self-Assessment: Identify your skills, interests, and values. Reflect on what you enjoy and what you excel at. For instance, if you enjoy working with data, consider roles like data analyst or project manager.

2. Set Clear Goals: Define what you want in a job—whether it’s a specific industry, role, or company. Setting goals helps narrow down your search and focus your efforts.

3. Create a Professional Resume: Craft a resume that highlights your skills, achievements, and experiences. For example, if you’ve led a successful project, include metrics that show your impact.

4. Write Tailored Cover Letters: Customize each cover letter to match the job you’re applying for. Mention specific skills and experiences that align with the job requirements.

5. Build an Online Portfolio: Create a portfolio showcasing your work, especially if you’re in a creative or technical field. This can include projects, writing samples, or design work.

6. Optimize Your LinkedIn Profile: Ensure your LinkedIn profile is complete and professional. Use keywords related to your industry, include a professional photo, and list your accomplishments.

7. Network Actively: Attend industry events, seminars, and meetups. Engage with professionals in your field through LinkedIn or local groups.

8. Join Industry-Specific Groups: Participate in online forums and groups related to your field. This can help you stay updated on industry trends and job openings.

9. Utilize Job Boards: Regularly check job boards like Indeed, Glassdoor, and Monster. Set up job alerts to receive notifications about new postings.

10. Leverage Company Websites: Visit the career pages of companies you’re interested in. Apply directly through their websites for potential openings.

11. Use Social Media: Follow companies and industry leaders on social media. Engage with their posts to stay informed and visible.

12. Attend Job Fairs: Participate in job fairs to meet potential employers and learn about job opportunities. Prepare your resume and elevator pitch for these events.

13. Consider Temp or Part-Time Work: Temp or part-time positions can provide income and potentially lead to full-time opportunities.

14. Seek Out Volunteer Opportunities: Volunteering can build skills and expand your network. For example, volunteering at a nonprofit can provide experience and connect you with professionals in the field.

15. Take Online Courses: Enroll in online courses to gain new skills or certifications that enhance your resume. Platforms like Coursera or Udemy offer courses on various topics.

16. Practice Interview Skills: Prepare for interviews by practicing answers to common questions. Conduct mock interviews with friends or use online tools.

17. Research Companies: Learn about companies you’re interested in, including their culture and recent news. Tailor your application to reflect your knowledge and enthusiasm.

18. Ask for Informational Interviews: Reach out to professionals in your desired field for informational interviews. This can provide insights and build connections.

19. Create a Job Search Plan: Develop a structured plan with daily or weekly goals for your job search activities, such as applying for a certain number of jobs each week.

20. Follow Up on Applications: After submitting an application, follow up with a polite email to express your continued interest and check on the status.

21. Use Job Search Apps: Utilize job search apps that aggregate listings and allow you to apply directly from your phone.

22. Update Your Skills: If you identify gaps in your skills for your desired job, work on filling them through training or self-study.

23. Seek Out Career Services: Many communities and organizations offer career counseling, job fairs, or workshops that can assist with job searching and professional development.

24. Attend Workshops and Webinars: Participate in workshops and webinars related to job searching, resume writing, or interview skills.

25. Create a Job Search Spreadsheet: Track your job applications, interviews, and follow-ups in a spreadsheet to stay organized.

26. Build a Personal Brand: Develop a personal brand that showcases your expertise and personality. This could be through a blog, public speaking, or social media.

27. Customize Your Resume for Each Application: Tailor your resume to highlight experiences and skills relevant to each specific job description.

28. Prepare a Strong Elevator Pitch: Develop a concise and compelling elevator pitch that summarizes your skills and career goals. Use it in networking situations and interviews.

29. Leverage Alumni Networks: Connect with alumni from your school or programs who may offer job leads or advice.

30. Explore Freelancing: If full-time positions are not immediately available, consider freelancing to gain experience and income. Platforms like Upwork or Fiverr can be useful.

31. Join Professional Associations: Become a member of professional associations related to your field to access job listings, networking opportunities, and industry resources.

32. Stay Positive and Persistent: Job searching can be a lengthy process with ups and downs. Maintaining a positive mindset and persevering through challenges is important.

33. Seek Feedback on Your Resume: Ask friends, mentors, or professionals for feedback on your resume and cover letter to ensure they are compelling and error-free.

34. Explore Remote Work Opportunities: Look for remote job options that might be available in your field. Remote work can expand your job search beyond your local area.

35. Consider Career Shifts: If your current field is particularly challenging, explore other industries where your skills might be transferable.

36. Set Up Job Alerts: Set up alerts on job boards and company websites to receive notifications for new job postings that match your criteria.

37. Utilize Career Coaching Services: Use online resources or career coaches to refine your job search strategies and gain personalized advice.

38. Develop a Job Search Routine: Establish a daily or weekly routine for job searching to stay focused and motivated.

39. Attend Local Networking Events: Participate in local networking events or community gatherings to meet potential employers and learn about job openings.

40. Create a Target Company List: Make a list of companies you admire or want to work for and regularly check their career pages for job postings.

41. Practice Self-Care: Job searching can be stressful. Ensure you’re taking care of your physical and mental well-being to maintain your energy and focus.

42. Seek Out Mentorship: Find a mentor in your field who can offer guidance, advice, and support during your job search.

43. Engage in Professional Development: Attend industry conferences or seminars to stay current with trends and network with professionals.

44. Refine Your Job Search Strategy: Continuously evaluate and adjust your job search strategy based on what is or isn’t working.

45. Build and Maintain Professional Relationships: Stay in touch with professional contacts and former colleagues who may provide leads or referrals.

46. Use Job Search Engines Effectively: Utilize advanced search features on job search engines to filter opportunities that match your skills and preferences.

47. Practice Resilience: Understand that setbacks are a part of the job search process. Keep a record of your progress and celebrate small victories along the way.

48. Explore Internships: Internships can offer valuable experience and often lead to full-time positions. They also help build your resume and network.

49. Ask for Referrals: When you have connections or acquaintances, ask if they can refer you to job openings or introduce you to hiring managers.

50. Stay Informed About Industry Trends: Keep up with industry news and trends to better understand job market demands and opportunities in your field.

Each of these steps is designed to help you navigate your job search more effectively and improve your chances of finding a role that fits you well. Every effort you make is a positive step towards achieving your career goals.
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