Heavy feelings
I just hate myself right now. I’m drowning in anxiety and depression. I wish being alive wasn’t so exhausting. But with heavy mental illness, it is. I’m overthinking everything and I feel like I’ve ruined my life, at 27. I sometimes wish I could have a do over but I also wouldn’t relive my past trauma for anything. It was too much and it broke me. I just feel so pathetic and weak. I feel like everyone’s opinion of me matters so much more than my own because I don’t even like myself. Not really. I just feel guilt and shame for taking up space. I really just needed to get this out of my system. I don’t really feel better but I hope that writing how I’m feeling will help me heal. That’s my only dream in life.. to just feel free from what has weakened me for so long
Feeling so many similar feelings. You’re not alone
@spicyavocado3788 hugs you tightly ❤ mental health is hard so very hard. But you are here, your still fighting this, and your doing so well ❤❤ self love and worth is hard to accept and we can be our own worst enemy's sometimes. There will be ups and downs as you learn to live alongside the mental struggles. You can do this, it's all gonna be ok ❤ never give up ok?
@spicyavocado3788 I am having very similar feelings lately. I've struggled with mental health issues all my life. I'm 42 now and feel like I've got nothing left to strive for, like I'm a worthless waste of space and people would be better off if I weren't here anymore. My dad passed in 2006, my mom just passed in July this year. My baby brother doesn't seem to care about me, never checks in on me no matter how often I check in on him and tell him that I'm struggling. He never acknowledges my struggles. My wife is amazing and probably the main reason I am still here. I know she'd be crushed if anything happened to me and I don't want to do that to her. So for now I live for her. I hope to eventually start living for me again, but that seems like a far off dream right now. I called out of work 3 hours early yesterday and called off completely today because I just can't do it. I feel like work prevents me from enjoying life, and not just this job but work in general.
So yeah, you are definitely not alone. I truly hope you can find the peace that you and we all deserve.
I’m sorry you’re going through the wringer too 🥺 my condolences to you for your painful losses. Grief is such a rollercoaster and not a fun one lol. I am happy you have your amazing wife. I understand what it’s like to keep moving forward for someone else, not necessarily yourself. I have a couple people that I feel like I have to stay alive for. But everyday is a struggle to get out of bed. I understand what you mean about work. I’m in that same boat. I haven’t worked for almost a year but I need to get a job soon and I’m dreading the thought. Honestly, it really is nice to know that I’m not alone because depression feels so lonely and isolating. I’m definitely going to be on Cups more during the holiday season for that extra support. I will always hope to one day be a little more free. Even if it takes time, setbacks, obstacles, and hardships… We deserve to feel comfortable in our skin and at peace in our lives. 💚 Thank you for sharing 💚 sending you a big virtual hug 🤗
