Feeling on edge
My depression episode has been bad the this last week and is causing me to have suicidal thoughts. I feel like a big trigger has been my grandpa’s celebration of life is next week and it’s the day after my birthday. I don’t know why my family planned it that way but they did. My grandma was saying she wanted to have a cake at the event for my bday and I told her absolutely not. Not to be mean but I don’t want my bday to be grouped in with a funeral memorial event. It’s causing my head to tell me it’s my funeral they are celebrating. To top it off my dad will be there and I cut all ties with him a year ago. We have never had a good relationship and if I see him I don’t think I can hold back screaming at him for his recent actions. At this point I don’t even want to go to the event.