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Country3262
656 M Embraced 5
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts41 Forum posts17 Forum upvotes29 Current upvotes29 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceJuly 18, 2021
Recent forum posts
Feeling on edge
Depression Support / by Country3262
Last post
 September 9th
...See more My depression episode has been bad the this last week and is causing me to have suicidal thoughts. I feel like a big trigger has been my grandpa’s celebration of life is next week and it’s the day after my birthday. I don’t know why my family planned it that way but they did. My grandma was saying she wanted to have a cake at the event for my bday and I told her absolutely not. Not to be mean but I don’t want my bday to be grouped in with a funeral memorial event. It’s causing my head to tell me it’s my funeral they are celebrating. To top it off my dad will be there and I cut all ties with him a year ago. We have never had a good relationship and if I see him I don’t think I can hold back screaming at him for his recent actions. At this point I don’t even want to go to the event.
Confused about my feelings
Relationship Stress / by Country3262
Last post
 August 4th
...See more About 2 months ago I turned down a male coworker that asked me out. Ever since I feel like I’m regretting it and I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t know if I am interested in him or if I just feel bad about it. He’s a really nice guy but he has depression, makes suicidal jokes at work, and doesn’t take care of himself. My head is telling me it’s a bad idea due to those reasons and we have nothing in common. However I feel like my heart is telling me something else. Is it empathy of something else I’m feeling. I’m very confused..
Just friends
Relationship Stress / by Country3262
Last post
 June 9th
...See more Recently I got asked out by a male coworker but I told him I just wanted to be friends. It makes me feel terrible due to my reasoning behind the rejection but he is an extremely nice guy. Unfortunately he has bad mental health issues and doesn’t take care of his health like he should. For instance, at work he will make small jokes about suicide daily, he hardly eats anything, and constantly consumes energy drinks. As someone who already suffers from mental health problems for most of my life I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who triggers mine. During work his I can tell his joke would trigger mine every now and then. I know he is getting professional help but I feel like a bad person for judging someone for something they can’t control. Even though I know that it was the right call because I should protect my own health and not have to worry about keeping someone else’s mental state stable along with my own.
Developing feels??
Relationship Stress / by Country3262
Last post
 April 20th
...See more I’ve never felt attracted to anyone before but I have a college class with a guy I think I’m becoming attracted too. He is a very nice guy I’ve only talked to a few times. Recently I had gotten a phone call about my grandfather ending up in the hospital and in critical condition. I couldn’t stop crying and went into tell my teacher before I left. On my way out of the classroom some of my classmates gave me hugs and condolences on the matter. I didn’t realize he came after me to the campus door and gave me a hug. He said “ I don’t know what is happening but I’m here if you need someone to talk too and my life is fairly crazy so I know how it feels to need to reach out too someone”. When I returned to class the following week he waved and walked over to see how I was doing. Afterwards he even sat next to me and my group in class. I know he was just being considerate and making sure I was okay. Recently I can’t seem to get the feeling of the hug and being in his arms out of my head. I know my emotions haven’t been stable after my grandpa passed but I feel warm, fussy and somewhat excited when I think about him now. Now I feel like I’m overreacting and just daydreaming about the whole thing.
Relapsed
Self-Harm Recovery / by Country3262
Last post
 March 8th
...See more I’ve been clean for about 9 years. Unfortunately, about a week ago I relapsed and took out my emotions onto my arm…. I’ve been sickened with guilt and blame ever since. Having to deal with hiding it from family or tell them and have to explain myself. What disappoints me the most was how a little situation made me cave out of years winning internal battle with myself. its been easy to cover the damage by wearing bandages and long sleeves. I’m scared for when warmer weather comes how can I hide my visible scars.
beginning to shut down again
Anxiety Support / by Country3262
Last post
 December 16th, 2023
...See more I just want my own life. I hate to say this but I don’t want to take care of my grandparents anymore. I’ve lived with them for 9 years and currently been the primary family member to care for them. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by my grandpas heart failure and dementia getting worse. On the other hand my grandma leans on me constantly with her mental and physical health. I’m practically his caretaker at 22 and my grandmother’s support system. I’m feeling myself begin to shut down again and having panic attacks. Recently she asked me when the time comes and he gets to the end of his life if I would stay home (not work) and take care of him. The bottom line is I can’t and I don’t want too! I’m working part time and going to college part time. If I did I would use all my saving in a year. I don’t want to do this anymore…I want my own life. I’m tired and scared of having to sacrifice my life take care of others when my life hasn’t even had a chance to start.
Pet loss and adopted
Grief & Loss / by Country3262
Last post
 October 20th, 2023
...See more I lost my old dog little over a month ago and I wanted to try adopting another. I found a dog I was interested in and currently doing a 3 day trial with her to see if she’s a good fit. Right now she is doing great and is very well behaved but I don’t feel as excited as I thought I would be. Since I’ve gotten her home I’ve had a gut feeling that I shouldn’t be doing this and I feel like crying. I don’t know if I’m still missing my old dog or trying to except I dont have time for an animal bing a part time college student/part time job. i feel like my insides are telling me not to go through with it but I feel ashamed for returning her even tho it’s a test trial.
Pets
Grief & Loss / by Country3262
Last post
 June 19th
...See more Hello community, I’m faced with a difficult decision about my dog. She’s 14 years old and has been having peeing problems and is constantly drinking water. I’ve taken her back to the vet multiple times with multiple tests run to see what is causing it. Some of the tests came negative and other concluded she as a UTI. We’ve tried multiple different antibiotics but nothing is helping and I already give her shot twice a day for diabetes insipidus which means her body can’t regulate her water intake. We have even limited her access to her water bowl. But no matter what I do nothing is working. The problem is I’m going part time and going to college and my grandma watches my dog while I’m away. My grandmother also takes care om my grandfather who has dementia. I’ve on the fence of giving up and having to put her down. I just don’t have the money to keep running her to the vet and it’s becoming to much for my grandma. How do I deal with this guilt? I feel like I’m giving up on my dog and it’s not a valid reason to put her down.
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