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Does kindness and empathy even exist?

eternallyworthless December 15th, 2023

I don't know. I don't feel like it does. Is that depression making me unable to feel it? Is it my surroundings or where i live? Is it me? Am i an unlikable person in general?

I don't feel like anyone cares. I feel empty all the time. I just want someone to talk to me and ask me about my days for once. I want someone to think about how i'm doing just once and try to get to know me. To take some time in their lives and do something for me like i do for others all the time...
I never get anything back. No one ever cares.

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toughTiger6481 December 16th, 2023

@eternallyworthless

Kindness and REAL empathy is scarce... IMO. When we are depressed it seems like loneliness and lack of empathy looks worse then it is... we may need to adjust what we are really seeking.... 

A friend to talk to is good but often so many keep every thing generic it does not allow you to share deeply... maybe like me you are hesitant because someone has betrayed your confidence,  it is not that you are unlikable. The world has IMO become different in people so unsure about saying things as so many take offense to everything that we end up alone with no one talking and we are alone. 

4 replies
eternallyworthless OP December 17th, 2023

@toughTiger6481

Yeah... i'm not used to talking about my personal stuff and not being made fun of for it... and no one ever asked me about my personal life recently anyway. Somehow other people tell me stuff from their lives all the time and i can only wonder how they can muster up the courage to do so...

Well given all i could tell about is a bunch of traumatic and bad experiences.. 😂

3 replies
toughTiger6481 December 17th, 2023

@eternallyworthless

I recently started a new job ...

I was talking to a co-worker really just met him  usually never say anything beyond superficial ..  but we shared some personal things and it all flowed seemed so easy and once out it is a relief and although i too have some bad experiences he did as well it let us each know how there are worse things and our experiences taught each other about different outcomes and experiences.   he shared insight from his perspective that was a great eye opener.... it is hard to find a good confidant but if you do they are very helpful i found a listener here like that as well.... not all of them but one good one always makes me see thing differently. 

2 replies
eternallyworthless OP December 18th, 2023

@toughTiger6481

Something similar happened for me. I thought i had found a friend i could talk to. In the end she turned out to be just a horrible person all around.
So all my kindness and trust has once again be thrown into the dirt... for i don't even know what reason.

1 reply
toughTiger6481 December 18th, 2023

@eternallyworthless

Yes we all have been burned spilling our hearts out to the wrong person but not seeing it at the time ... there are people out there and while we are looking for them we might not find.... but show up occasionally... journal writing and even some interactions do not give us the response we want.... i was just at a point that my frustration was causing me illness/ or pain and letting go some of the stored up crazy helped like a pressure relief valve.   

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windchimes1991 December 16th, 2023

@eternallyworthless

I'm so sad your name is eternallyworthless. You're not worthless. No one is.

This website is strong evidence that kindness and empathy exist. People volunteer here to share those things. But I understand you're having trouble finding long-term friends who really seem to care about you. It's unfortunate that finding such people can be difficult. People in general need to learn how to be more loving. I hope you can make the connections you need and really feel loved.

bestVase7265 December 17th, 2023

How was your day? Know that you can find that empathy that you are looking for right here. @eternallyworthless

3 replies
eternallyworthless OP December 17th, 2023

@bestVase7265

Quite okay. I felt bad when seeing others with their SO today more than usual. Probably because it's getting colder and colder and i just wish i had someone i could cuddle up with. Sounds lame but thats just how it is

2 replies
bestVase7265 December 18th, 2023

It totally makes sense to me. That can be tough. Maybe a cup of something warm will help you a bit tonight. @eternallyworthless

bestVase7265 December 19th, 2023

How are you feeling today? I have been thinking about you.@eternallyworthless

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Polahn December 18th, 2023

I think the rarest thing in Humans isn't kindness, it is caring (and real empathy, most people project their thoughts and emotions into others, they don't empathize).

Kindness just require a person to demonstrate a nice behaviour once in a blue moon when they want to feel good about themselves.

Caring is a committed mindset to really help the person and be interested in it over time. It takes more mental energy, so most people don't do it.

2 replies
eternallyworthless OP December 18th, 2023

@Polahn

It does. I still always care so much about others... i just wonder why i never get even an ounce back.
It's just weird. Like i'm only good for doing things for others but kinda repulse people when i need something in return. I'm not even asking for anything

1 reply
Polahn December 19th, 2023

I am genuinely sorry you are going through life without anyone around who cares as much as you do... It is sad and very lonely indeed 😞.

I find pets to help a lot in our loneliness: they are faithful and aren't capable of 'not caring'. It is also very rewarding to care for them compared with Humans.

I wish you to find the very rare individuals who can reciprocate your caring abilities at some point in life. And if it isn't the case, to be able to build a pet family 😊🐱.

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