Depression is my friend with derealization

if this has posted twice, just know that I just returned after a few more years and it’s a bit confusing to me now I know how to find the new but I tried to post it now and it didn’t appear and I didn’t get that it was like has been submitted so I assume it didn’t but if I like find it, I’ll just keep the one I want to give virtual hack to anyone who is experiencing this. It’s very isolating experience. I don’t have like depression like disorder. Luckily, I don’t suffer to depression but when you get the realization and you get it every day, it doesn’t matter day or night, but you got it. It’s very isolating. Think you’re very disconnected you detached and it makes you feel down and this is the thing that it really makes me feel like numb and empty and in I don’t even know what emotional state because it’s it doesn’t make me like sad but if we makes me off and even if it’s neutral, I just know that I’m feeling down so it’s kind of like a depressive state and you know you gotta just go with that and still do your things and not fury that you know that I’m this feeling is just like they’ll take their leave, but it is that the realization can bring a lot of of these sad feelings or this feelings that you’re just not OK and it’s OK to not be OK. I learned that from frazzled and but just seeing how it feels I woke up to the realization in the morning then you got a better and then it just really like goes from good to bad and I never know next hour. I’ve been living like this ever since this year started, but it was due to something else like my body was constantly feeling very unwell and everything now that has gotten better so thankfully, I don’t feel as soulful and unwell as I did all these months, but there are some things that still purchase so yeah it’s just really good to talk them out because really what helps us if you just hurt and listened because sometimes they don’t really have a solution. They are like I know the things basically because I have a therapy system but it’s like explained you know so I know all that but somethings don’t really like have a social just gotta get through it with how you feel and that’s the story. I’m feeling it right now. It’s like what is who is me and especially it’s challenging when you’re alone because I have diminished control over like surroundings myself and that can be distressing that can be like oh they can get you scared but you don’t have to be scared that’s why when I talk about this then it’s somehow somewhat. It gets better and you know that you’re not alone in it bites very very isolating. I think I found this one of the most isolating things because it’s when you’re either like it was just in my mind and not even like what is my bad you know just so strange it’s very strange and I hope that today also so that’s for it and it’s just dehydrated and do some stretching it always help and food helps because sometimes even when you’re hungry it’s kind of just get like real bad so do you have enough of everything and great Friday I have. I hope we can make today something awesome or just good doesn’t have to be special. You’re ready like all that we do and to the weekend. I hope we’re going to have something to just see if if not enjoy because I’m mean honestly I’m gonna stay where I don’t really feel happy like I’m aware of things. I can’t be mindful but you don’t feel the joy and happiness so I’m like yeah now I know well you don’t have to. You just have to be like OK it’s to me. It’s a big win if I’m not down if I’m not down that’s so mean to me because it doesn’t mean like most of the time I’m not good or bad. I feel very neutral most of the time but to me that’s enough because I know that like we’re trying best every single day you get what you mean to anyone thank you for reading this. Thank you so much you are loved.