Daily Depression Support Check In: February 13th 2021

@talkswithariba

1. How are you doing?

I am alright.

2. What are you looking forward to the most in this coming week?

The pleasant sunny weather.

3. What's your favourite song at the moment?

"Finale" Madeon

I feel like a useless, lonely, unloved PoS. I don't look forward to much. Every weekend I get drunk to forget everything. Fave song? Um. Maybe "my name is human"

1. I am ok i guess 2. I am looking forward to the coming weekend cuz we as a family are gonna turn the page and start a new chapter finally after almost 6 years we shall be free atleast that's what i hope for 3. into ur arms

Luckily my midterm has a limit for 4 days to complete it. From Feb. 11th to 14th. I had been putting it off, and I'll finally do it sometime on Sunday. Limit is 2 hours. The main reason I had been delaying it, is because I haven't been sleeping well the past few days. For Friday morning, I had to wake up early to take my dad to hospital for a minor surgical procedure. Then, today, I was told to wake up earlier to shovel the snow off from the sidewalks and driveway. As my dad can't do it, since the procedure is on his hand. Whenever I need to wake up for something in the mornings, the night before, I'll have trouble sleeping. Waking up numerous times throughout the night. Even if I go as far as using an alarm, I would still worry about not being able to wake up in time. This has always been a problem with me. Actually, it doesn't matter if I was told the night before to do something the next morning, or afternoon. As long as it's an appointment or something I'm expected to do or asked of doing the next day; I won't be able to sleep that night. So, I've been napping the past couple of days. Putting off that midterm because my mind is already so tired.

In the coming week, I'm back to work. We've got a holiday on Monday, so it'd be a 4-day work week. I've been off since January 18th. I could've taken some evening shifts in between, but I've rejected them all. Didn't even bother calling back to say no. Just didn't answer the phone at all. I wanted to focus on my studies. I'll probably need to say something to the Supervisor that calls me for those shifts, if she asks me. Or if she sees me, maybe I'll try to stay out of her vicinity when she drops by my work area. Or she may not ask me at all.

Favorite song at the moment is "Marry You" by SHINEE!~

@talkswithariba

im feeling ok

Im looking forward to seeing my girlfriend for Valentine's Day

my favorite song right now is Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo

1. Had feelings today that my life will never be what I want it to be. I often struggle with reality/radical acceptance. Just felt like saying that and hopefully it'll make it easier to accept it and be greatful. Otherwise I had an okay day not good or bad. 2. Getting things done that I need to do and hopefully not procrastinating... Like I always do. 3. I've lost interest in my music lately, use to love so many songs but now I don't enjoy music like I use to which is a bummer

I'm struggling with keeping my emotions in check. Not looking forward to anything this week. I don't have just one song, more of a playlist

So, I got some feedback from my Prof on my Essay Topic Proposal. I got 8/10 with this feedback:

The statement should be the conclusion/opinion of your research and it should be clearly indicated at the beginning of the paper. Please revise the statement and explicitly how Chinese agree to it, what statistics you will use. Just summarize the conclusion in one or two sentences will be enough.

Interesting topic that falls in our course focus scope.

Hmm.. does this mean I need to resubmit the revised version? I guess I didn't write in detail enough on the proposal, as I aimed for only writing the main points and that I'd elaborate more on the Essay itself. Now that I've got the feedback, I can finally starting writing my paper. I've only got the title page made up!~

1. I am good today. I have been in the best mood. This weekend was great for me and my wife. We went out with my sis n law a d her husband on Friday and had the best night. A few drinks, dinner music and laughs. It was awesome. Saturday my wife and I celebrated valentines days. I cooked dinner for her and we cuddled and watched movies. A d today was just a chill day. 2. Just working as usual 3. Tennessee whiskey