From a Russian in Europe
Hi all! I am very very sorry about writing here. The war drives me mad, I lived in Germany for several years. Now the longer the war continues the more I feel I should not be a part of a society here. Am I intrinsically evil? I do my best, but I cannot stop the war or really help anyone really. I am considering suicide, but I have dependants here that I need to support.
When I volunteer at the station, I feel guilty and as an impostor. When I am at work, I feel that I'm taking someone else's place. My European friends just tell that I should not overthink, but the war is the only thing on my mind. I spend most of my time with Russians or Ukrainians now and the war is everything we talk about.
Do you think there is anything I could do to redeem myself or is death really the only salvation a person of my origin can have? Can someone who can't stop evil be a part of a society - any society really - but especially here in Europe?
I am very sorry I am asking. I really try to do my best, but depression intervenes with my ability to support others, family or refugees or Ukrainian initiatives. I try to make sense of everything and understand how to be a stronger person. If I have to overthrow Putin, I need mental strength and an unbreakable moral core. I need advice - or a bullet through my skull. Please and sorry. I really want to become an optimism, and believe that every day is one day closer to the end of the war and a fascist regime of my country. But all I see in the future is darkness.
You are not for one minute responsible for the acts of Putin. You are Russian, with a long and varied history. This war is not of your making, you have nothing to feel culpable for. That lies with one man only. We are allowed to think and feel for ourselves and one madman does not decry a whole nation. There are good people and not so good people everywhere on this earth. You are a person first and foremost and a Russian by nature of birth. You are not responsible for any of what is currently happening. You are showing compassion through your words, and you need to show yourself that same compassion. The Russian people are not guilty because they are governed by a madman.
The fact that you have expressed your feelings shows that you have empathy and understanding. And your own life matters. I don't care about race, ethnicity, religion, etc....I care about the individual. I relate to people as unique and wonderful in their own right. You are not Putin, and the Russian people are not to blame. Russians and Ukranians alike all deserve love and need the healing of love. We are people first and foremost. Let go of the misaligned guilt that you feel.
I am sending love to you, all the Russian people and the Ukranian people...with a hope and prayer that this dreadful conflict ends soon. For everyone's sake.....at the end of the day....regardless of nationality or any other factor....we are people and that is all that matters.
You are NOT accountable for a madman's war. You didn't make the decision to start war. You aren't making the decision to continue fighting against Ukraine. If you could put a stop to it tomorrow, you would. You are every bit as innocent as the Ukraine people. You don't need redemption; it isn't your sin. Sadly, I think you're punishing yourself and holding yourself more accountable than Putin has ever done for himself. You, alone, also can't stop him. Rejoice in the fact that this war hasn't been an easy win for Putin. Rejoice in the bravery we've seen so far. Every act of speaking out, even on 7 Cups, is an act of bravery. You've done good.
You can absolutely fit in here and in Europe and everywhere else you land. From what I've seen, the global world isn't holding the civilian citizens of Russia responsible for Putin's actions. You have every right to belong to a community.
Unfortunately, 7 Cups isn't equipped to help with crisis situations, such as thoughts about committing suicide. We just don't have the training here. Here is a list of hotlines for many different countries, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines. Please reach out to someone who can help you. They have the training to assist with crisis situations. ❤️
One person who is an ordinary citizen cannot change the events, but he can help other people who need it, now Ukrainian soldiers need a car, read more about it here https://cartodonate.com . It is worth starting with something to improve this world and help really good people.
From Ukraine:
Вы признаете, что то, что делает ваша страна, неправильно. Этого достаточно. Вы гораздо лучший человек, чем большинство жителей вашей страны. Вы не убиваете украинцев. Вы не можете ничего сделать, чтобы свергнуть Путина, он изменил закон, чтобы защитить себя. Делайте все возможное, чтобы помочь там, где вы находитесь, но не возвращайтесь в Россию. Вас буквально могут посадить в тюрьму за то, что вы только что опубликовали.
