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bubbleHuman8756
108 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2024 Member sinceJuly 16, 2017
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From a Russian in Europe
Around the World / by bubbleHuman8756
Last post
 February 4th, 2024
...See more Hi all! I am very very sorry about writing here. The war drives me mad, I lived in Germany for several years. Now the longer the war continues the more I feel I should not be a part of a society here. Am I intrinsically evil? I do my best, but I cannot stop the war or really help anyone really. I am considering suicide, but I have dependants here that I need to support. When I volunteer at the station, I feel guilty and as an impostor. When I am at work, I feel that I'm taking someone else's place. My European friends just tell that I should not overthink, but the war is the only thing on my mind. I spend most of my time with Russians or Ukrainians now and the war is everything we talk about. Do you think there is anything I could do to redeem myself or is death really the only salvation a person of my origin can have? Can someone who can't stop evil be a part of a society - any society really - but especially here in Europe? I am very sorry I am asking. I really try to do my best, but depression intervenes with my ability to support others, family or refugees or Ukrainian initiatives. I try to make sense of everything and understand how to be a stronger person. If I have to overthrow Putin, I need mental strength and an unbreakable moral core. I need advice - or a bullet through my skull. Please and sorry. I really want to become an optimism, and believe that every day is one day closer to the end of the war and a fascist regime of my country. But all I see in the future is darkness.
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