Mental Health: Standing Up For Oneself and Others

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Hmm, once, I stood up for my mom. My dad wasn't physically abusive to me or my mom or anything, but my parents very rarely interacted at all. I was used to it being amicable but oddly separate. One of these times was a fight, and he was absolutely verbally going off on her... I don't even know what it was about, but that's the only time I ever saw him do that. He sounded so angry that I went and stood in front of my mom. Me, a scrawny little six year old, standing there, looking up at my 6'2, built-like-a-freaking-house, ex-military dad. It was almost comical, but my dog came up and did the same as I did... now there was a scrawny six year old and a miniature schnauzer standing up to him. For a moment, no words were said. My dad looked furious, and I probably looked scared out of my mind. He just muttered a curse under his breath and left the house, slamming the door on his way out. Everything was fine after that, there wasn't any more fighting. How did I feel about it? I felt helpless at the time, but I realize now that I was anything but. My dad never wanted to hurt my mom, I know that, but I think he did need to be stood up to.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Great topic.

I stood up for my little sister for being bullied and being called fat.

For me lately speaking up or standing up for myself or others has to to do with what I don’t.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Hi @SoulfullyAButterfly !

Thanks for the lovely post. Hope you are doing well😊.

Back in 7th grade, I was really close with this shy girl. She's very kind and fun to be with. However, she never fights back when someone treats her unfairly. So, one day, I saw this mean girl of our class shouting at my friend for some reason, and I badly wanted to side up with my friend, but I waited for some more time and finally when I understood that the mean girl wasn't going to stop anytime soon, I thought of taking things into my hand. I went up to her and said, "Do not shout at her!"😂, and then the mean girl asked me why I would care, to which I replied by saying that she was my friend and that the mean girl didn't have the rights to shout at her classmate for any reason. Although this is an incident I laugh about today, I still feel happy because I stood up for someone I care.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Once I stood up for my mother. My parents had just separated, and we would go over for dinner every Friday night. They often argued while I hid in my bedroom. One time I could hear them arguing and my father was accusing her of controlling and taking everything away from him, including me. The thing is, I made a choice to live with my mother because I have really bad PTSD, and my father has issues keeping his anger under control when he is upset and he often does things that trigger me despite constant reminders and discussions provided by both me and my mother. He was there when I was told about tthe separation and when they told me I got to choose who with and where I was going to live, things had been rocky with my father for awhile ever since I had to testify in court for sexual assault against another male family member. I whisked out of my room and yelled at him to shut up. I told him I had enough of listening to him yell at my mom and accuse her of things. I made the choice to live with her, she did not make me, she did not convince me it was MY choice. I said that if he was going to continue to do that then I wouldn't come anymore, and really the only reason I DO come is BECAUSE of my mother, so he SHOULD really be THANKING her. Then I went back to my room.

I’ve stood up to so many bullies in my life. I was picked on a lot for being smart and quiet and kind. I would stand up for people who were poorer and had to wear the same shirts multiple times a week etc.

Me saying this to someone very close to me life... Partake anger in Anger Management or Relationship is over.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Hi, Butterfly,

I'm doing it more and more and it is a new sensation for me. I'm not used to winning battles from being in control of myself.

I’m pretty sick of my family. Raised in a shack, in poverty around often mean and neglectful parents was no fun. I wanted to (and almost) killed myself when I was 11, and against my early 20’s. I seem to be dying now in my 30’s without even trying.

So after decades of being told by all of society that I’m not good enough and chronic homelessness and poverty and a limp society doing nothing but perpetuating the cycle I told my dad until he actually starts doing something to change I’m no longer interested in hearing from him.

It made me feel gross and wrong and like apologizing and like I was being unreasonable and foolish and that I should just stop trying to be better and instead just accept that I’m a failure and an embarrassment with bad hair.

Maybe one day I’ll appreciate and understand why I’ve done this but right now my life is one of survival, with society doing nothing to care or change the fact that millions wake up every day in a hostile world while others sit around complaining about the fact that their coffee was one half degree too cold and that they’re surrounded by the “The great unwashed” while doing exactly nothing about it.

I never stood up for myself.

The Only Reason I joined 7cups in 2013 was to make myself feel better. But after joining 7cups, I realized there are more people with worse conditions than I have.

It motivated me to be a Listener, to help myself by helping others. At the same time, being kind, a non-judgmental listening ear, and a shoulder to cry upon. That made me forget about my insecurities and damages.

I always had doubts, even about my. Intentions, while I knew nothing wrong in the back of my head.

But the people around me pushed me so hard that I had extreme self-guilt and the lowest self-esteem.

It took me years to realize my existence in this world and my worth in other people's life.

I would not blame anyone for what I have been through because I was raised in such a way that I would hate being me as a worthless piece of *****.