Co workers

Yes! Although I'm not new to the team in my work, but there is this one colleague whom I feel does not like me. I can tell she treats me differently, compared to others on our team. The way she talks, her tone, her facial expressions, every way we interact, I can feel that she's just being sarcastic and does not like me. So, whenever our shifts overlap, I try and do everything correctly, and not get on her nerves. At times, when I see she's not in a good mood, I will avoid communicating with her, unless there's a third person around having a conversation together.

It's been a couple of years already, and I'm finally getting used to it. But I do voice it out, whenever I'm in a meeting with my Manager (which is like maybe twice a year). Even when I tell my Manager about it, I still don't see any changes. So, I try to see it as that's just the way she is. I think it could be the age difference and the generation gaps, I'm the age of one of her kids, so she might see me as an annoying child.

I've learned over the years, no matter what career or job I've ever done, there will always be at least that one person who doesn't seem to like us. Whether or not because we're new to the job, that we make mistakes, or even when we work too diligently, it might pose a threat to their position and they end up bullying us or make things hard on us or point out the littles mistake, just to make themselves look more superior and smarter than us. So, we just need to learn how to deal with those kind of people. I've been trying to see things in their perspective too. Maybe they have something going on in their personal lives, and it is only work, where they can take it out on people. So, it might not be us, that they are taking it out on, it's just that's the only place where they can vent and do not need to worry about hurting their loved ones instead. Since colleagues are just people they work with, they might not even be meeting each other outside of work, so they seem like the best target to vent at. You might feel depressed and saddened at first, but when you look at it in a way that you were able to help them let out that stress, you will feel better about how you were of some help in that sense.

In a new job and trying to fit in, just be yourself. Be confident in your work, and ask questions if you're unsure how something should be done. Depending on the type of work, mistakes are okay. It's just a process of learning and getting used to how things run. People usually like to talk about what they can do well in, so maybe you can try asking that colleague for help. Ask for their advice, how would they handle certain situations?

@secretSea3461

Thank you for the advice. Unfortunately it’s a few I have deal with. I’m trying to learn how to navigate through them. But it seems like they get mad at me no what. Seems like the older generation gets worked up over little things. For me it’s hard to wrap my head around how and why you try people. At my older jobs, I would never treat new colleagues differently. Especially if they make mistakes. I’m pretty chill about it. Also I’m not a manager. So it’s not my place to act like one

Older generations do tend to like picking on us, younger ones. Whether or not it was something we did wrong or not. Most of the time, they're thinking, because they have more experience or had been working in the company longer, anything that newbies do they will pick on. Some people are like that though, so, we just need to be confident in our own work, and let them be. If it really bothers you, maybe you can report it to someone in Management. But, in a new job, I'll say, to give yourself at least 1-3 month's to see if there are any improvements overtime. If they're words are affecting your work productivity and efficiency, then, maybe you need to say something about it.

@secretSea3461

@secretSea3461

I absolutely understand you. This is a real problem. It is a workplace issue. That is traumatizing and difficult to deal with. Your situation really does cause anxiety. These persons or the person in question that you do not get along with is a reality. It is very hard to try to be the bigger person when managers are unwilling to set the course for the working relationship between you two. I do not know if we have or can ever solve the mass majority of difficult persons in workplaces that make us happy. Sometimes the focus in on distress tolerance but harassment and victimization should not be allow. Workplaces have standardized rules for this.

I would suggest always including the support of management. I have yet to find a manager that is will to teach me, guide me, and allow my mistakes to occur. I find too often that managers or assist managers are hands off. Reflect on your job description if you can. Find the policy that supports your practice, the persons on staff who will hold your complaints and concerns secret and see if this older woman can figure out that she must play nice with newbies too. Her retirement is on the line.

@secretSea3461

Often a sour topic... However are there people you get along with well? People you could count on to lift you up and vouch for your worth?

I was in a couple of really bad situations - In the first one, my supervisor did everything she could to actively make me feel so uncomfortable that I ended up making small mistakes that she convinced HR to fire me for. She also humiliated me in front of a customer for a minor error and made my coworker cry for no reason. Honestly, when I was let go from that job, I was not even upset, even though I really missed some of the people there who cheered me on when I was new and went out of their way to be friendly.

I then found another job that was a better match for me, however my coworkers would dump their work on me, and make fun of me behind my back, because that is the kind of culture it was. Those who knew each other and worked there for years supported each other, but there was no professionalism. Yet, I was held to strict standards to enforce regulations, and yet the people under me who I had to unofficially supervise didn't listen, mostly because their actual supervisor wanted to do as little work as possible, despite us having several lengthy meetings with the directors. I did numerous off-the-clock hours, came back home at midnight once and nearly got into a car accident. I was constantly worried about being held responsible if something went wrong. The clincher was when someone verbally exploded at me once just for correcting a mistake that needed to be fixed, and then weeks later, when someone went ahead and made an important decision that I had to authorize, without asking me. Toxic place and hair-raising nightmare...

I left that job after a year, found a new one, and then switched jobs a couple of times until I finally found a place where (most) people appreciate me and where I feel like we treat each other with mutual respect.

Sometimes you just need to find the right place. It will eventually happen... But in the meanwhile try to focus on a few people who might be friendlier or more approachable.

@MissMouse2023

What is your take on a resume that has multiple work places on it?

I am asking for an opinion, not a managerial assessment unless you can provide one. I am trying to put together my own self-help book and scribbler with statements and reflections that I can use to remind myself my actions are okay. My choices were the right ones.

A resume with a lot of workplaces on it with short duration's really does speak to the institution too, not just the work ethic of the employee.

Do you agree?