An upsetting shift
Yesterday's shift was not good.. the lady at the front desk (she's like the person in charge of the OR from 7am - 3pm), came up to me near the beginning of my shift and told me to make sure 3 specific things are done every night so it's ready in the morning..
These 3 things I usually do, and if she received some complaints about something in the morning, all I can say is, I might've missed 1 task.. But, the other 2, I'm pretty sure they were done..
Within the OR, we have 2 warmers for blankets.. which I will fill up at the end of my shift.. the only other warmer I always tend to forget, is the one in pre-surgery.. but here's the thing.. In pre-surgery, they now have their own linen cart with those blankets that the nurses working there can easily fill at the end of their shifts.. I almost always see a nurse with nothing to do by 4pm.. so, why can't they fill their own blanket warmer..
The nurses in Post-Surgery also have their own blanket warmer, and they restock it themselves.. It shouldn't be our (the OR Aides) job to fill the warmer in pre-surgery.. I can see how we needed to do it in the past, because they did not have that linen cart until the beginning of this year.. But, now they have their own, the nurses working there has plenty of time to do it before the end of their shift.. Nowadays, they also sometimes get volunteers to help them fold up gowns for the patients and stack them all on the racks ready for the next day.. They could easily ask the volunteers to fill the warmer too..
And, I have a feeling it's the morning colleagues that complain about it.. and it becomes my fault.. All I hear is them saying that there are a lot of things to get done in the morning, and if I've forgot to do something and they end up needing to do it, they will say, they have a lot to do, and that extra task is too much work.. But honestly, some evenings are super busy.. like last night, I didn't go for my dinner until past 7pm (I'm off at 8pm).. one room didn't finish until 6pm.. the nurses are usually off at 7pm.. even they had to work a little over, just to get rooms set up.
I usually have stretchers all placed outside each OR, and on Tuesday, I've grabbed 4 from upstairs back down.. and yet, that lady at the front desk mentioned about getting the stretchers all ready.. So, I left a note to our morning person so she'd see it when she starts her shift this morning.. saying I went upstairs at 7pm, and there were none in the hallway..
Like, colleagues can't expect that there will always be empty stretchers I can bring down in the evening.. because it really depends on whether or not the patients upstairs have a bed to be transferred to.. or if they get discharged by the time I end my shift.. So, it's normal when there are nights where there are no empty stretchers to bring down.. they can't expect me to have them ready for them in the morning every day.. and literally, it's their job in the mornings too..
I mean, I've worked their shifts before.. I know the amount of tasks that is needed to be done before the first cases start.. And yes, it does seem like there's a lot to get done within the hour.. but, if you work fast enough, you can do that extra work that was left behind the night before.. I just don't understand.. Why must they complain about it?
So, I was upset during my shift today.. because aside from that one of three things I missed, I do the rest every night anyways.. So, I feel like someone is making an unnecessary complaint and just wants to get me in trouble.. Like, there are so many things I need to do in the evening shift too.. As I'm all by myself from 3:30pm and onwards.. whereas, there are 2 Aides in the morning, and 3 Aides overlapping 2.5 hours the moment I start at noon. And yet, supplies are never restocked by the morning Aides.. so, end up going around the OR and checking on supplies and refilling everything.. When there's 2 Aides in the morning, I'm sure that they can easily spare like 15 minutes of their time to restock certain supplies too. It's like, I'm doing everything, the moment I start my shift.. and they could care less.. and yet, when something is missed, I'm the one who gets the blame..
So, I was upset during my shift yesterday and today (Thursday) and most likely will still be depressed tomorrow too.. Also, the colleague that finishes her shift at 3:30pm.. she comes to me every day, telling me things that she has done, and wants me to finish, so it's ready the next day.. It's like worse than having a second mother at work.. repeatedly telling me what I need to do (we're all grown adults, yes, I might be the youngest of the team, but I'm still an adult).. I don't mind reminders like, once a week, but every day? But these things she tells me, it's almost automatic that I know I need to do if she haven't completed yet.. Maybe she's trying to have good communication, but these messages don't need to be relayed to me every day at the end of her shift.. especially when it's repeated tasks.. and I've been doing this job much longer than she has.. I'm the one with more experience compared to the 2 current morning Aides that just started working late last year and early this year.. I seriously don't need to be told what to do.. and they shouldn't make a complaint about me when something is missed.. just do it!
There are multiple supposedly shared tasks, and they never do.. and I end up doing everything.. then, when one of the many tasks gets missed, I'm the one that gets the blame and complained about..
The more I thought about it when I got home last night, the more I felt teary. But I wasn't able to have a good cry about it.. so, now it feels like the emotions are stuck.. and my heart feels heavy.. It affected my mood for today's shift, and will affect tomorrow's too.. I don't have an outlet for my emotions. It also affected my sleep last night.. slept for a couple of hours, woke at 3am.. then, at 6am.. then, at 8am.. 9am.. I usually get out of bed by 9:30-45ish.
Today's shift, that lady didn't say anything to me.. but now I'm being weary of my work.. I'm already doing all the work that the other two morning staff doesn't help with.. so what if I missed a task or two? Just quietly complete it, why must they complain and blame me for it? Don't they ever see all the other things I've done well with? Why do people only see the bad side and never say anything about the good side?
@Jaeteuk
HEllen,
I wanted to say you're doing great! Have you tried trying multiple listeners? I tried many then found a few that changed my life and yet others supported me as I got better. I'm still in therapy and on meds. I'm retired so luckily I don't work any more. I like to go to community functions. I hope you know that you aren't alone! Chat any time but try not to write me another whole book lol
Blessings, Day 🤗
Hey, thanks for your response. I just like to rant about things, not knowing if any cares or reads it. So thank you.
You know, I find it quite funny. I often tell others that they shouldn't take it to heart when colleagues are being mean, because in any type of workplace, there will always be at least that one person, that doesn't get along with you. Yet, when it happens with me, it totally ruins my mood and it feels unfair and that I'm being picked on just because I'm the youngest and the least senior (I've only worked for 7500 hours, while the rest are well over 25,000 hours). So to them, even when I've worked in the department longer, I'm still like a newbie in their eyes.
I'm giving myself a year's time.. to decide if I should get another position in a different hospital or I could quit my job altogether. I've started my own business, so, if in the next year, I can make it successful enough that it replaces a full-time income, then, I can choose to quit. Then, I won't have to put up with all this unfairness from colleagues.
Let me ask you something, as a retiree, you've might have seen different situations with workplaces and how people treat each other. I'll give you a brief info of my work and position status. I work as a Casual in a local Hospital, Casual meaning, not a permanent staff, with no medical benefits, and very unstable income, because my shifts are only assigned to me when others go on vacation. In my team, the rest of permanent full-time staff, there is no part-time position. There used to be one part-time, but the Manager had enough budget and turned it to full-time. So, here's the question. The other day, a colleague said to me, "Being a Casual you're not going to have the efficiency of a full timer." Is this some form of discrimination? How one person works, efficiency-wise, doesn't depend on whether we're a Casual or Full-timer, it's based on our work ethics. I felt so hurt when she said that to me, it's like, she's thinking less of Casuals like myself, and comparing my work efficiency and productivity with the full-time colleagues that I cover the shifts for.
Then she goes on and say that she feels I'm not happy at work. Who is she to make assumptions? Yea, I'm upset because of colleagues like her making me feel like all my hard work means nothing to them, and I'm just a nobody, a newbie, an inefficient worker, and is someone who doesn't communicate with them.
The last week I worked, I didn't communicate with anybody. I admit that. Only because I was in a very emotional and anxious state that I didn't even want to go to work at all (the weekend before my work week started, our family heard news of my grandmother getting a heart attack and was told that at age 93, she cannot be give medication and is too risky for surgery).. so, although grandmother is in my home country overseas, I was still impacted by the news. I couldn't sleep for the entire week, as we waited for news from my Aunts how grandma is doing in the Emergency. I tried to tell my colleague that I have things happening at home, then, she's like, "we all have crap happening at home, and yet, we still come to work and not have it affect us".. I was like, "well, is someone in your home severely ill?" She was like, well then, you should've just called in sick, we have a secondary Casual now (hired a second one this year), so even if you called in sick, there would still be another replacement.. but for me, knowing that the other girl works in the department downstairs, I knew she had shifts assigned already and would not be able to cover me if I had called in sick. Plus, my parents don't know how much it had impacted me, so they wouldn't agree if I had called in sick for work. So, here I was, trying to be considerate of their workload, by going to work despite my emotional status, and yet, the whole week, she's the one giving me crap and saying things that is heartbreaking and makes my mood even worse. Because of her, my work is making me less happy.. and of course, she takes sides with the other colleague (they are of the same ethnicity), and blames me for the lack of communication with the other lady. Then, she goes on and digs up the past working times when we all once worked in the department downstairs together. Saying now back then, I was reluctant in doing certain tasks, so she feels that is one of the reasons why the other lady and I don't get along. (but there is much more that happened to result in the current state between us).
Anyways, I'm really hoping I won't be in this job for another 2-3 years.. because once 2 of my colleagues retire, one current temporary full-timer will apply for the permanent full-time position (the one I don't get along with).. so, there is no way I can work happily with her as a permanent addition to the team. Despite liking the work itself, and liking the other people I work with (nurses, anesthesiologists and surgeons), and the purpose and meaning I have in the work that is being my main motivation. If she's a permanent staff by then, I'm out!
@juliak1968
@Jaeteuk
Don't work hard, word smart my dad always said but hard work can make the day go by quicker. I have an old saying I live by: "Those that mind don't matter, those that matter, don't mind" I just doesn't seem fair to you at that job, but if there is any ways you can think of to do your job while avoiding most interactions with them it would be better. Can you anticipate your duties and do them before anybody starts acting rudely? I had it hard working when I was younger, the pay was bad and I used to have to sleep in my car in the 1980's, I started 9 businesses but only one worked very well. I poured lots of my energy into them all and it wasn't worth it. But if you have a dream use it as your motivation. just don't spend money unless you have tested several sales or sell what you want to make. What type of a business are you interested in?
Blessings, Day
A good old saying for sure, but with many, everything is easier said than done.
I do try to interact as less as possible, because just knowing I'm working the same shift, makes me feel depressed now.
In Publishing.. I actually launched it last summer, but it hasn't really picked up much yet..
@juliak1968
@Jaeteuk
Write your heart out! I was only kidding about it being a book!! I'm a writer and poet and rapper. Who knew an old fat white guy like me could rap lol
Blessings, Day