How to know if i am ready to start working again?
Recently I received an excellent job offer. I stopped working for two years due to not being able to live life anymore, aka, depression. I saw a psychiatrist but I couldn’t continue because I have no resource of income and where I live it is impossible to find anything that is not expensive. No free health care or low-budget care is available.
I did the work by myself, and I know it is not enough, but where I am now is much better than two years ago. When I went to the first interview it was a huge big step for me because one year ago it would be impossible for me to get out of bed and face anyone.. but after the interview, I got triggered very badly and then after the second interview I stayed in bed for one week not being to move and all I do is cry. I feel that I am the same for the last two years, and I kinda feel like I am relapsed. Work was one of the things that made my depression worse and caused me trauma, but I need the job and I need the money to heal. But it is so hard for me to go for a 9 to 5 job since doing this much effort can lead me to a downward spiral.
I don’t know if I should accept the offer or not. But deep down I know I need more time before working and that it is a mistake for my health. But I need to work. And I am afraid I am going into a downward spiral in the middle of the job and not be able to work or come to work. And I know I need help and I am doing it on my own but I also need the work to get the help I need.
I will feel so guilty if I wasted such a great position but also guilty if I did not do the work and left. I am just so tired of not being able to take care of my life and no being able to work like everyone. It is been two years and I have no experience and I feel that I keep wasting myself because of an invisible illness that no one believe I have.
I just need a voice of reason and to listen to anyone other than my brain.
Any thoughts? How to know if I am ready to start working and do this much mental and physical effort even though I know I need my full day to take care of myself and anything can trigger me?
Thank you in advance for your time 🤍
@Selcouth96
your situation is so grossly bad. I can feel that bcz I am also in a similar position.
I dont know enough about depression as disability. But I guess, Depression is perhaps considered a disability. You might apply for and get the social disability benefits. That is one option.
Well if I talk about myself, I am still living with parents although I am 23 and have graduated but due to depression, I cant hold a job as it also worsens my depression, like yours. But they are supporting me to meet my basic needs. I hopefully can work in the future but now I am so invested in my mental health.
But at this stage, even, I would like reap the social disability benefits and I am doing research on that.
I hope you could get the benefits in your area or may you get support from your parents, your siblings or your other relatives.
I am so sorry you’re going through this. I just finished my college degree and I know I’m supposed to go and get a job, but every time I look at the job sites I get very anxious, like the person who could do those things is not me. I’ve been trying to work from home to avoid some of the stress of going somewhere and feeling vulnerable, maybe there is some starting job you can do from home? Or to start just a day or two a week, to allow as much time as possible to your healing, yet doing the thing you feel it’s important right now to support yourself, even if it’s not fully at first.
About disability, at least in the US it’s sad but they don’t tend to recognize invisible illness, maybe some people have been successful, but the couple people I’ve met that have gotten on disability were utterly humiliated during the process, and they had very visible physical illness.
we’re thinking about you and sending some positive energy your way. 🌷🍀❤️
