Advice wanted - what sort of support is it okay to seek from friends/loved ones vs. professionals?
Cross-posting this from the relationships forum because I've specifically been diagnosed as bipolar.
Hi, everyone.
This is something I've been trying to figure out as I try to do better with my mental health and accept support from people around me.
I have a number of people who have told me they're here for me, but I feel like some of my issues would be best addressed in a separate space like therapy. Which is why I'm working on finding a new therapist.
But I know also open and honest communication is important for any relationship, and maybe if something's really affecting me, I should tell people about it? At least so they know what's going on? I don't know. Does anyone have similar experiences or thoughts?
@juneravens I am sorry you are suffering from Bipolar. My friend has many mood swings and that has been very important for me to know that everything they say is not for real. Sometimes it is the mood disorder talking. Otherwise I would throw up my hands and just say the heck with this person. It takes a lot of patience on my part to see them through the manias and depressions. Some bipolar situations do not have both elements, but friends and family can be baffled by things that come up.
To me it is a balancing act. How can I not dump on friends and family things they do not understand and how much should I turn to a therapist or peer support like a listener at 7cups. The risks are low telling these people. Telling friends and family can be costly especially if they really do not want to hear your problems and they just want a "nice" relationship with you.
I think support groups are great places to let it all out. Friends and family I try to water it down. "Having a rough day, but it will be okay" may be all they can handle. One sure sign is if they just tell you to get over it. That translates to "I really care about you but I do not want to hear all your problems".
The other thing is friends and familiy, unless they are diagnosed with the same diagnosis and accept it, they really probably have no idea what you are going through. I try little bits with friends and family but their reaction usually has me thinking "no way am I going to lay all my problems on the table". At best they may ignore me, at worst they may start treating me different.
But the choice is yours and every family is different. Hope you get the support you are looking for.
wow, thank you so much for this honest thoughtfulness. I might or might not come back and write a longer reply, but I really appreciate this. thank you.
Hello!
I totally get what you're going through, it can be so tough to try to understand how much or how little you can share.
If you feel comfortable, something you may want to work on is setting boundaries. Asking your friends and family "How much to you feel okay with me sharing?" "Are there things you prefer I don't talk about?" Questions like that can help you to understand what those around you need and want.
Pay attention to what they say, or how they behave. If people around you seem to go quiet, or not reply very much at all, you may have gone over a boundary. It can really be a difficult thing to find the right balance, but I wish you the best!
Thank you for this! A friend I met this year asks questions like that of me, like checking in about what's okay to talk about, and I always appreciate it. I will do that more often, too. Your point about behavior cues is really good, too.