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Winter Blue's
PeacefulHeartFlower December 18th, 2017
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As of right now I'm depressed, down about my life and my thoughts are against me at the moment. I keep trying to fight my thoughts because I normally don't think like this at all. When I'm depressed however, I think so negative and think that everyone hates me and that maybe the world would be a better place without me. I keep trying to get myself out there but since I'm deeply depressed and crying, I'm struggling.

Also suffer with Social Anxiety as well and it doesn't help manage my mood swings at all. To top if off my sleep patterns is a mess and having trouble sleeping. Each Winter I get so utterly depressed and than I get better once the spring happens and I know many people with bipolar disorder having hard time during different seasons. Mine sink so low during the Winter and I really wish I could have a friend to talk too. :(

3
PerfectStorm426 December 18th, 2017
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@PeacefulHeartFlower Hi Flower, I too share these same feelings. Winter time, December mostly, is horrible. It starts with Thanksgiving. Spent alone cause i didnt wanna put on a false happy face for everyone. Just stayed home and cut firewood then played guitar and drank beer till sleepy time. Just another day to me. Then starts our hunting season that i share with friends. Used to take my ex's kids with me but they dont go anymore. Hard to sit in a tree and not think. Dont enjoy it anymore, hope someday i do again but for now i dont. If i tell my friend who owns the property that i dont wanna hunt anymore he will sell the property because he now lives an hour and half away because of a work transfer and that time is the only time i get to see him. Friday was my new loves birthday, but because of my anxiety and depression as well as her inside hurt, things got twisted up a year and a half ago and we misunderstood eachother. She got upset and quit talking to me. Next up. Christmas. Will be same as Thanksgiving. Try to survive the day. Might even go to work just for the hell of it. Then new years. Yup. Probably alone again. Trying to figure out hiw to fix my relationship. But i never have any ideas. So i stew about it every minute. This helps. Its not the answer, but it helps just a tad. Giving insite to help others. Doing for others what i wished i had a year and a half ago. Hugs to you.

ladylazarus1971 December 19th, 2017
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@PerfectStorm426 and @PeacefulHeartFlower

This is a really rough time of year for most of us. Between the seasonal affectivity of the missing sunlight and the onslaught of social event after social event. Or worse, maybe, than having to go to a social event is not being invited to them. It's a jumbled up mess.
I know I'm in a small depressive phase right now, and even the sun lamp quit working its magic.
Chin up! It's almost the solstice and the light in your life WILL come back. It's just a waiting game, and it's a hard one. But we can do this!
I hope you're both having a better day today.

PerfectStorm426 December 19th, 2017
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@ladylazarus1971. Thank u!!!

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