Making connections

Hi there! I can relate to you on so many levels.

I've been through this a lot. Now what I try to do is I make connections through what I love to do. For instance, if I love to sing then I'll just spend time with someone who at least loves the same thing. That way it's like a simple but beautiful connection. We tend to protect ourselves from things that hurt us and build a wall around us. Having a fair experience of being used, I won't tell you to actively look for friends or say it will definitely get better because I know a lot of times it doesn't. Not that it won't at all but, I find it better to have some simple meaningful connections that help me grow than the ones that leave me more tired and frustrated. Probably you can look for the people who are building their lives too and appreciate others doing the same and like to work towards something together. Those who can at least cheer for you even if they aren't available at all times. ❤️

If you want, you can find someone here too. Just to share your journey or you can use this very post to do so. ✨💕

I understand your conflict and we are all here for you. You're not alone in this.

Hope this helps a bit!

I may not be able to tell you that I'll always be available but you can definitely share your progress with me if you feel like. I'd love to listen! 🥰

A big hug to you! 🫂

@MartianGirl347 hugggs you ❤ I don't really struggle with this, but I've never had any friends, and I don't think I ever will. Except on this site😁 I have made friends here ❤ I also like being alone, however it's probably a bit different from you. Cause I do live in a care home. So there are always people around. Let's be thankful for this site ❤❤ good luck sweetie ❤

@Yougotmyback

@Tinywhisper11

thank you for your replies and sharing your experiences 😊 it’s very helpful to know I’m not alone. I can tell you both are very kind, caring, and positive people. 

I’m sure I can make progress and continue to grow in this area! I greatly appreciate both inputs!! ☺️

Heyy! I have felt the same way most of my life. I turned 30 and I do not have many people I can call friends. I do like talking to someone but then I often kinda vanish in between and cannot maintain friendships. I like following rules and that makes me seem very dorky and non adventurous. I hate socialising or going out much and in relationships I usually want things to always go my way and then I tend to get angry or really anxious about things changing. Relationships dont really work out great as well!

@MartianGirl347 I used to have a lot of friends and a few very close friends. Many people have had a hard time hanging out with me. They get tense and nervous and don't know how to interact with me. But when I was 20 I became very close to an old shallow friend and his girlfriend. He and I was the same age but she was 20 years older then us having three kids from a previous relationship.

We three and her kids (around our age and a little younger) became very close friends. We became like a family and they said I was part of the family (I have no family, my biological family threw me out when I was 15 and I have no contact with any of them)

My new family, my close friends and many of the others were wonderful people. They treated me like a normal guy, respected my way of being and interacting. I felt loved and accepted and valued for the first time in my life. They were so wonderful and we all were happy. Other people, young and old, looked at us with admiration how happy we were and how kind and nice we were to eachother. How everyone were allowed to be themselves and not criticized.

Then after 8 wonderful years my closest friends suddenly didn't want to be with me anymore. They didn't say why or anything, just stoped answer the phone, stoped calling and just shut me out. Now I have no friends and no girlfriend and I feel I will never find such close and wonderful friends again.

When we got close and I became part of their family, I felt for the first time how it feels like to have a family that likes you and support you, to be part of a family. I realized I had never felt that feeling ever before. I became alive in a way I had never been before. And when I realized I had lost them I became dead inside, lost all ambition and motivation. I didn't know before but now I know that you need friends or family to become alive.

It's so tragic. I am ok looking and both guys and girls, men and women tend to like me and look up to me. My friends loved me and I loved them. But now I am just home alone wasting my life. It's such a waste. Now 8 years has past and I have no idea how to move forward from here.

Feel free to send me a message if you want to become friends

@MartianGirl347

@MartianGirl347

I don't have any good advice for you. I just wanted to thank you for posting this. You aren't alone in this situation.

I have found myself in similar situations (taken advantage of or the like).

None of it ever killed me, lol. But it can seem so exhausting.

I hope you find the someone or someones out there. Until then, keep being your authentic self. Keep enjoying whatever interactions you do have.

Somewhere along the way, you might even meet someone you're glad to be with, regardless of what you do together.

Until then, I hope you enjoy the journey.

@MartianGirl347

Hope you are okay 🥹💜

yes Im 30. I totally struggle with this, my only friends are my 6 year old daughter and sometimes my boyfriend... I feel you. @MartianGirl347

@MartianGirl347

Hi! o/

Can we be friends? For real?